Page 28 of Homesick

“I’m sorry, Adam, but I’m not in a good place to start dating anyone right now.”

“You’re not still into Fisher, are you?”

The comment kind of throws me a bit and makes my skin heat up. I shake my head and let his comment wash over me. “No. I just have a lot going on right now,” I answer with a relaxed smile on my face.

I’m expecting his reaction to be much different, but he lets my rejection roll right off him. “Well, if you change your mind, here’s my number.”

* * *

“He asked you out,” my best friend exclaims while Milo squirms in her arms.

“Shh! I don’t need the whole farm to hear about my dating life or lack thereof.”

“You mean you don’t want Blake to hear,” she says with a smirk. Emma sets Milo in his stroller and proceeds to follow me to the calf barn.

“I couldn’t care less if he hears. He basically admitted to being a man whore the other day.”

She raises her brow as if to say, I can see right through you. But it’s true. I couldn’t care less if he knows I’m thinking about dating. I dated a lot of guys back in the city, why should that change here? Except for the fact that as soon as my mom started gossiping to her friends, the entire town would know. After two dates they’d be asking when we’re tying the knot. Another reason why I’m glad I turned Adam down.

I was no stranger to the lack of privacy in small towns. I also wasn’t a stranger to the cloud of shame that started to fall upon anyone over twenty-five who wasn’t married. When my brother and Ashley moved in together without being engaged, I thought my mom was going to have an aneurism. They eventually did get married, but not without a plethora of whispers.

“Well, what’s the issue then? He’s cute and seems decent enough. I haven’t heard anything bad about him yet.”

“How do you know Adam, but I don’t?” I joke, trying to change the subject.

“Because you were so up Blake’s ass in high school, every other guy kind of faded into the background. Even before you two got together, he was the only one you had eyes for.”

That would’ve been sweet if I didn’t already know how the story ended. After Blake and I broke up, I realized how dependent I was on him throughout our relationship. I cringe when I think about it now, but first loves feel like a forever thing when you’re in the moment. Apparently, Blake didn’t feel the same.

I didn’t have a doubt in my mind he still cared about me, but I was afraid once I gave into him, I would turn into that same lovesick puppy I was in high school. I knew deep in my heart we’d never be friends. I also knew I would never let my world revolve around one man again. All-consuming love was overrated.

“I don’t know. I guess going on dates here is different. If I went out with someone in the city, I wouldn’t have to worry about running into them again. And then there’s my mom and her nosey ass. It just seems like a lot of work for a guy I’m not even sure I’ll like.”

“I think you’re overthinking way too much. Go out on a date and if you don’t like him then cut it off. You’ll never know if you don’t try.”

Why is she pushing this so much, I quietly think to myself. Although, I don’t hate the idea of free food and he doesn’t seem like a psycho.

“Okay, you’re right. One date wouldn’t hurt. I’ll text him later.”

As soon as we walk into the barn, little Milo’s entire body perks up. I smile and selfishly award myself Best Aunt of the Year. I bend over and pick him up so he can see some of the babies up close. They’re not quite babies anymore, but they’re still in that cute in-between phase.

We walk over to Mocha hanging out in the corner. Much like me, he is anti-social and often hanging out by himself away from all the noise. He immediately offers up his snoot for pets and I have to pull Milo away when Mocha tries to lick his forehead.

Milo giggles and starts flailing his arms to get closer. I give Mocha some pets with my free hand and notice his nose is a little dry, but I quickly dismiss it as Milo starts getting fussy.

“I think we may have a future farmer in the house,” I smile proudly.

“Very funny. He can come over to Aunt Wren’s if he wants to play farmer.”

I just laugh and take Milo on a tour of some of the other barns. Before long his little eyes begin to flutter close, so we decide to let him rest in his stroller. I take Emma and Milo back to the house to see if I can find a spare bottle of wine.

We let Milo sleep off all the excitement of the day in his stroller while we hang out on the front porch.

“It is really pretty out here in the summer,” Emma says as she sips on the glass in her hand.

“Yeah, I miss being here in the summer.”

The thought of past summers in Honey Grove sends my mind reeling back to a time when my life was filled with endless days of chores and sneaking away to spend time with the boy who stole my heart when we were kids.

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