Page 31 of Homesick

My sense of relief is short-lived when I remember calves get scours from poor nutrition. My face drops and I look at anything else in the room so I don’t have to look Blake in the eyes. It was my job to take care of Mocha and now he’s sick because of me.

Blake senses my change in mood and begins to walk over to comfort me but stops himself just within arm’s reach. “Listen, don’t blame yourself. He’s the runt in this herd so I’m sure he’s having trouble getting food and water with the other calves in this pen. Maybe we can move him until he gets his strength up again.”

I know his reasoning makes perfect sense, but the weight of my mistake is suffocating. For the past few weeks, I felt like I was getting the hang of things around here and this is a blunt reminder that I was wrong.

It was one of those things where I knew in my heart it was silly to get upset over this, but my mind kept reverting to the deep-seated doubt I still felt from losing my job a few months ago.

“I do want to keep an eye on him to make sure he doesn’t get any worse.”

“You don’t have to do that. I can watch him.”

“Don’t you have your date tonight?”

I had completely forgotten that I had to leave for my date with Adam in about twenty minutes. I really hated to cancel, but the farm was more important. Mocha was more important.

“You’re not cancelling your date. I don’t have any plans tonight, so I’ll hang out with Mocha until you get back. He’s in good hands,” he says with a smile.

I feel a slight sting when Blake tries to push me to go on my date. Earlier, it felt like he might be jealous but now he’s practically begging me to go.

My head spins trying to figure out the double meaning behind his gesture, but before I know it, I’m dressed and ready for my date. I head out to the barn to check on Mocha one last time before I leave to meet Adam.

When I enter the barn, I see Blake is making up a spot to hang out while he watches the calf. Part of me wants to think he’s doing this for me, but another part realizes he’s here because of my brother. Regardless, I feel a fluttering in my stomach and my heart pounding like no other.

As I make my way over to his set-up, I spot a thick textbook on his blanket, and I smile to myself. “I thought you hated reading,” I question before turning to face him. As soon as I turn, he doesn’t even try to hide his wandering stare.

I didn’t have as much time as I would’ve liked to get ready, but I’m satisfied with what I was able to accomplish. I had just enough time to put some gentle waves in my hair and some light make-up. Trying to pick out a decent outfit took up the rest of the time and is also responsible for the clothing tornado that looks like it tore through my room.

After much deliberation, I settled on some light blue jeans, a white flowy top, and some brown sandals with a slight heel. It’s simple, but I always choose comfort over fashion.

My outfit felt simple before I saw Blake. I feel a warm sensation in my chest when his eyes move from the ground up. He was always great at making me feel pretty, even when he didn’t say it.

After his assessment, his eyes land on mine and I swear I see a slight glimmer. Panicking at the moment taking place between us, I clear my throat and dismiss any questionable tension in the air. “Are you sure you’re okay watching him? I can still cancel my date.”

“Campbell, you look too damn good to waste it on a dusty old barn. Go out, have fun, and I’ll text you if anything happens.”

I shoot him a smile to express my gratitude before carefully making it over to Mocha curled up on a pile of hay. I hunch over and give him a couple of pats on the head before saying, “I’ll be back soon buddy. Please get better for me. Don’t tell the other calves, but you’re my favorite.”

* * *

I meet Adam at a bar a few miles outside of town. As soon as I walk into the small brick building, I feel bad calling the Rustic Inn a dive bar. This place had it beat, hands down.

Before I can fret about my sandals sticking to some unknown residue on the floor, I see Adam at the bar waving at me. I smile back and clutch my purse when I pass a triage of tattooed wannabe bikers playing pool.

When I finally shimmy up on to the bar stool, Adam slides me a beer. I scrunch my nose up at the yellow liquid sitting in the glass mug, but I suck it up and take an innocent sip.

“This is one of my favorite beers here,” Adam declares like we’re at some sort of brewery. As soon as the bitter taste hits my tongue, I’m almost certain it’s some bottom shelf bullshit that all the rednecks in the area drink.

“Thank you. I needed a drink after today,” I sigh into my glass.

“What happened?” he questions before sliding his free hand to the back of my stool.

“One of our calves got sick under my watch,” I confess and sit up in my seat when I feel Adam’s fingertips getting too close for comfort. “It just sucks because my brother is trusting me to take care of things while he’s gone.”

“I didn’t know cows could get sick,” he says before taking a swig of his beer.

To keep my eyes from rolling to the back of my head, I take another sip of the golden liquid in front of me. “Yeah, they do,” I reply with a nervous laugh.

“Well, I can help you get your mind off it,” Adam says before sliding his hand from the back of my seat to my lower back.

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