Page 48 of Homesick

“I’m still not sure if I want to stay in Honey Grove, though. That would mean I’d be here for good.”

“You make this place sound like a death sentence,” he says in a serious tone. So much for keeping it light. “Wren, when you first moved back almost two months ago you were a shell of yourself. Being home has brought life back into you. Now call me crazy, but it seems like the place you’ve been running away from for six years, is actually the thing you needed the most.”

Maybe he’s right. But it’s not just this town. It’s so much more.

CHAPTER 17

“Ugh, come on,” I huff frustratedly, trying to retrieve the storage bin from the top of my closet. I spent the entire morning cleaning out my room/time capsule. Now that I’ve accepted I’m staying put in Honey Grove for longer than expected, I’ve decided it’s time to do some spring cleaning . . . or in this case, summer cleaning.

There was one time when my mom tried to bribe me into cleaning out my childhood bedroom, but then I stumbled upon an old iPod that had a playlist that Blake had made for me when we first started going out. That sparked an entire depressive episode where I sat at the foot of my bed and listened to Maroon 5 on repeat.

This time, things are different. I can now see old memorabilia from my Blake era and not break down like a pathetic worm. Okay, that’s a bit harsh.

Now when I see old Blake artifacts I laugh and snap a pic to text to the man himself. This casual hook-up thing is a blessing in disguise.

An hour ago, I sent him a picture of the cringy heart-shaped necklace he got me for our first anniversary. I wore that thing religiously when we were kids, even though I hated it. Men should know by now that women don’t like heart-shaped jewelry. Or at least, most of us don’t.

I hesitated to send him the picture at first. I was worried about breaking my rule of being too intimate, but I used it as an opportunity to make fun of the past instead of ruminating on it. If we’re going to keep up our no strings attached deal, then we need to be able to pick on each other. How long are we going to keep this up though, I think to myself. It’s a question that keeps gnawing at the back of my mind, but I continue to ignore it. For now, we’re both getting what we want and that’s all that matters.

I feel my cheeks heat at the thought of last night’s romp in the hay because it quite literally involved us rolling around in the hay. My knees are scratched up and there are fresh bruises slowly forming on my shins. I gently stroke my sore jaw thinking about it.

“Need some help?”

“Jesus Christ! Learn how to knock.”

My brother narrows his eyes at me and hits the open door with a slow and dramatic knock. “Better?”

“Yes. And I do need help. Can you see if you can reach that bin at the top of my closet? I’m too lazy to get a step stool.”

It takes me a second, but I quickly remember his injured foot. I look down to see the cheeky scooter he was riding on at the beginning of his healing journey, but now all that’s there is a brace that’s covered up with his pant leg.

“Don’t worry, I can do it,” Chris states as he walks over to the closet. “I’m going to be so happy when people quit treating me like I’m made of glass.”

I smile at his stubborn attitude. This isn’t the first time he’s tried to work with an injury, and it won’t be the last.

“Oh yeah. It’s almost six weeks already, isn’t it?”

“Yup! I have my final check on Monday and then I should be good to get back to work.”

A slight ache in my chest begins to spread when I realize I won’t have an excuse to see Blake every day. That also means our arrangement is over.

“I didn’t think you’d be this sad about not having to shovel cow shit anymore,” Chris says, obviously noticing my change in mood. With a loud thud, he places the bin on the floor. “Is everything okay, Wren? It’s not Blake is it? I thought forcing you two together for the summer would help mend things between you two.”

“Mend things? Like you want us to get back together?”

Chris lets out a huge sigh before taking a seat on the edge of my bed. “No. I just wanted you to learn how to be in his life again. You know better than anyone that I wasn’t a fan of you two dating, but as much as I hated it, I hated seeing you hurt even more. And I hated that you let that hurt push you away from your friends and family. It’s been so nice having you home, Wren. I don’t want you to leave again.”

I stare at the floor and contemplate his words. It’s taken me some time, but I’ve realized I’ve hated being away from home, too. Even when I would come back to visit, I never really came back. I always had one foot in the door and the other one out. I used to associate Honey Grove with a painful time in my life, but now it’s become a part of my healing journey.

“You’ve become so soft in your old age,” I tease with a smile. “I promise I won’t let a boy scare me off again.”

Chris stands up and before I know it, I’m wrapped in a big brotherly bear hug. I soak up the unexpected sign of affection and let all of the warm and fuzzy feelings wash over me.

“I missed you, kid,” he says after releasing me from his hold. “Oh, before I forget. Ashley wants me to invite you over for dinner to say thanks for helping with the farm.”

I tell him I’ll be there, but right before he leaves, I stop him and say, “I would love to keep helping around the farm if you’ll have me? Not to brag, but I’m quite the cow whisperer.”

He smiles at my comment and lets out a quiet laugh before making his way downstairs.

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