Page 50 of Homesick

I ignore his look and pull him back in with my lips. We had already broken one rule today and I was not about to break another. I decide to make up for the lost connection by wrapping my hand around his hardness. He sucks in a deep breath, and I smile as he becomes weak in my hand.

Blake’s hands find their way to my breasts and massage them as I find a steady rhythm stroking his cock. The way his head falls back when I run the pad of my finger over the tip of his dick is enough to make me speed up my hand motions. I’m desperate to see him come undone in my hand.

Soon his lips are back on mine, moving against my mouth with the same ferocity with which my hand continues to move. I can feel his body contract when he approaches the edge of his orgasm. Right as he’s about to finally let go, he pulls away and finds my eyes. When our eyes lock, I feel his cock spasm in my hand as he cums.

As Blake comes down from his high, he rests his forehead against my shoulder. His breathing is fast and staggered, and as his hot breath washes over my breasts, I can feel my nipples harden.

“Looks like it’s your turn, Campbell,” Blake says before letting his fingers trail lower.

* * *

“Hi cutie,” I coo, picking Milo up from his blanket on the floor. “God, you’re getting too big too fast.”

I look over toward the kitchen when I hear dishes clinking together. Emma yells to the other room, “I don’t have any coffee. Is tea okay?”

“Yeah, that’s perfect.”

I keep Milo snuggled close and try to keep my foot from tapping anxiously. I know the second Emma asks me about how things are going with Blake, I’ll spill every last detail. And of course, she’ll give me her infamous mom frown. She often tried to conceal her disappointment, especially when I was in a very fragile state, but I could always see past it.

“Here you go,” Emma says before setting my cup down on the coffee table in front of us.

I gently set Milo down on his blanket and he quickly distracts himself with a tiny stuffed elephant toy. I take a deep breath and pick up my cup, taking a small sip.

“Where’s Colt?” I question, trying to start the conversation off on a better note.

Emma clutches her own cup and stares at Milo squirming around on the floor. “He had to work this morning.”

“Oh, okay,” I answer awkwardly before taking another sip of the hot liquid. The air between us feels stiff, like it could snap in two at any moment.

“So, what have you?—”

“I’m sorry I’ve been acting weird these past two weeks,” I blurt out, interrupting her.

Emma sets down her mug and lets out a long and heavy sigh. “It’s fine, Wren. I know you’ve been busy,” she says with an emphasis on the word busy. “I just hope you’re being smart.”

“I am. I’m simply scratching an itch and once it goes away, I can finally move on.”

“Really, Wren? You’re calling Blake an itch? That right there proves you’re going to screw yourself over. It’s one thing to have casual sex with someone you don’t have feelings for, but it’s another to do it with someone you have so much history with. I can’t think of one scenario where this ends with you both being unscathed.”

I close my eyes and absorb her words as they’re being thrown at me. It doesn’t take a genius to realize everything she’s saying is true, but it’s the last thing I want to hear. I want her to realize that this is what I need right now. I know in my heart it’s reckless and immature to feel that way, but I’m over avoiding the chemistry between Blake and me. I just need time to get it out of my system and get the closure I need to move on for good.

“Emma, I understand how you feel, and I appreciate how much you care about me. I just feel like this is a mistake I need to make on my own. I need a friend right now, not a mom.”

She flinches at my words that seem to have hit a nerve and presses her lips into a thin line. “So, what then? You want me to sit back and watch him break your heart all over again? I was the one who had to piece you back together and I don’t know if I can do it again. It was heartbreaking to see you like that, Wren. One of the worst feelings was knowing there was nothing I could do to make you feel better. And even worse than that, you felt like you needed to push me and your family away to feel better. I wanted nothing more for you than to get away from this town and be successful. Maybe it didn’t go exactly how you planned, but that’s no reason to revert to your high school relationship.”

I rub my hands together, starting to feel the moisture of my anxiety seep through my skin. Emma and I rarely fought or disagreed like this. She’s my best friend and one of the things I love most about her is her ability to call me out on my bullshit. Except right now . . . that’s the last thing I want. I want . . . well, I’m not sure what I want.

“Emma, I know you think this is going to end badly, but I’m not the same girl I was six years ago. I’ve grown a lot since then and I am emotionally capable of keeping feelings and sex separate. I told him the second I feel like things are becoming complicated, I’ll cut it off. I know that’s not exactly a foolproof plan, but it’s what’s working right now. And honestly, my brother is about to be cleared to come back to work so once we stop seeing each other every day, I’m sure it’ll fizzle out.”

As if on cue, I feel my phone buzz in my back pocket. I stop myself from immediately picking it up and answering, which is something I’ve grown accustomed to these past two weeks. I can feel a faint warning sign flashing in the back of my mind, but it’s still too quiet to acknowledge.

I lift my eyes to Emma’s, and she lets out a breath of frustration. Soon she slumps her shoulders and I can feel her icy front begin to melt.

“This is ridiculous. I don’t want to fight over Blake. It’s just seeing you two together has me thinking about the past a lot. When he broke up with you the first time, it set off this mama bear instinct and I can feel it coming back again. Can we just agree to disagree and move on?”

I smile back at her and lift my cup in solidarity. Once the hot liquid travels down my throat, I feel a heavy wave of uneasiness brush over me.

I desperately want to tell my best friend about the hot hook-up I had last night and talk about all the weird feelings that have been coming up over the past two weeks, but I don’t. I keep my thoughts to myself and hope I can get rid of this itch in time to save my friendship.

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