Page 63 of Homesick

A yawn begins to form in my throat, but I swallow it. I’m mentally and physically drained from this day, but somehow my mind is still wired. We’ve both been quiet since the diner and the prolonged silence has begun to sour the air around us. Everything Blake said earlier should’ve cleared our path to each other, but there is still one major roadblock.

“Okay, well I’m going to shower,” Blake declares before barricading himself in the small bathroom.

I lay back on the dusty motel comforter and stare at the ceiling. There is a suspicious yellow stain that my eyes instantly go to as I let my mind run wild.

I understand Blake’s reasons for pushing me away all those years ago, but it’ll take me some time to fully trust him again.

There’s also the echoing question of long distance. We’ll be building our relationship from old scraps from the past and long distance will only dredge up old insecurities. It’s a recipe for disaster, and I’m not sure if we’d survive another collapse.

I want to be hopeful and make up some bullshit about how our love will defy all odds, but that’s not true. We haven’t defied all odds.

I hear a sharp squealing noise when Blake turns on the shower. I throw my body up from the bed and walk over to the window.

The second I throw open the curtains of our motel room, I spot Big Foot in the parking lot. Or a man dressed like Big Foot to be exact. For the first time today, a genuine smile cracks through the surface of years of pent-up anger.

All I can think of as I stare at this crazy human is how much Blake would love this. Then I think of how much my heart soars when he smiles. Seeing a real Blake Fisher smile makes my entire body tingle with adoration. I feel like I can float on air when he smiles at me, and that feeling hasn’t changed in the six years we’ve been apart. It probably won’t ever change.

Tears begin to well up in my eyes and I curse myself for letting my emotions seep through. I swallow hard and try to stop them by slamming my eye lids shut, but it’s too late. A lone tear tickles down my cheek and gravity pulls it to the ground.

My entire body jumps when I hear the door to the bathroom swing open. I wipe the wetness from my face but stay facing the window.

“Wren,” Blake calls out. I can feel him inch closer to me.

I feel my knees begin to weaken and my skin starts to light up the closer he gets. A moment later he grabs my forearm and twists my body to face him. I keep my eyes slammed shut before he can see my pain.

Without saying anything, he reaches up and catches one stray tear that has a mind of its own. Finally, I surrender and look into his deep green irises. My heart pounds against my ribcage, like an animal begging to be let loose.

“What’s wrong, Campbell?”

I swallow hard and take in a shaky breath.

“I hate that you’re leaving. I finally got a second chance, but now it doesn’t matter.”

Blake snaps his hands to his sides, almost forgetting our current state. I can see him fidgeting like he desperately wants to touch me but knows he can’t. Then there’s a sudden shift and his dark irises become a lighter shade of green. A more intimate tone.

“I know you think we can’t make this work, but I want to try. I know what losing you feels like, and I won’t let it happen again. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, but I’d rather try than be right back where we started in another six years. I’m tired of waiting for the right time. Let’s make it right.”

Blake still holds his hands at his sides, waiting for my full consent before letting his body take control. My breaths are ragged and I’m on the edge of giving in. The realist in me is currently playing chess with the hopeless romantic living in my head.

“I’m scared, Blake. Getting over you was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do and I don’t know if I can do it again. If things haven’t worked out by now, maybe it’s not meant to be.”

“You know what I think?” Blake says with a playful smile painted across his lips. “We needed the time we spent apart to grow up and become who we are now. These past few weeks I’ve been getting to know the new Wren and I hate to say it, but I think I love her even more than the old Wren. We’re not the same people we were six years ago, and I don’t know about you, but I’ve learned from my mistakes. I know it’s a lot, asking you to give this a chance, but I think what we have is worth the pain we went through to get here.”

Love. It’s the one word we’ve both been dancing around. I may have confused it with hate, but I never stopped loving Blake. I’ve loved him from the moment my eyes met him for the first time when we were kids. He’ll always be planted in my mind as my person. I knew it as a kid, and I know it now with him standing inches from my touch.

“I love the new Blake even more than the old Blake,” I whisper delicately as I let the words fall off my tongue.

I feel the weakened wall within my heart take its final tumble. I’m still not certain if I’ll regret letting him in, but I’d rather regret loving Blake Fisher than miss out on it. The walls I’d built had allowed me to retreat into my heart too many times. It’s time to bear it all.

“So, are we’re doing this?” he asks with a boyish grin.

“We’re doing this.”

Within seconds, Blake’s restraint snaps and his hands are tangled in the mess of hair piled on my head. I open my mouth and let his tongue explore mine. I know we’ve kissed recently, but this feels different. It feels like I’m finally letting go for the first time this summer and letting him have every piece of me. I want him to have every piece of me.

My moan vibrates through my entire body as Blake’s hands cup my ass. Before I can register what’s happening, he’s carrying me across the room to the bed. Blake throws me on the bed and for the first time, I realize the only thing separating me from his manhood is a flimsy towel. My mouth ticks up in a flirty smile as I observe how low the fabric sits on his toned waist.

“Are you checking me out, Campbell?” Blake quips with a husky tone.

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