Page 113 of Lost Love on 6th Street

“Just the one.”

I’m amazed by how proud she remains. Not the bad kind of pride. The kind of pride you have when you can see the things you might regret and say, “Oh well.”

“So, anyway, your dad was going to have to cough up the money to support Diane and the baby, and I wasn’t going to prevent him from doing that. And that kicked his sorry-for-himself ass into gear. Anyway, she broke off contact before she gave birth.”

I chew on the inside of my cheek. “Did you know she passed away?”

“Yes.”

“Why didn’t you tell me I had a half-sister?”

My mom finally looks at me, hard in the eye. “That’s love. It’s not always simple.”

I wrap my arm around her and bring her to my chest. I hold her the way Dad used to when they’d sit here and watch us playing in the yard.

I am an echo of him in so many ways. My mother was a saint for staying with him after all that bullshit.

I’m grateful my folks stayed together, and that Mom can be happy despite the pain. I’m not going to put someone through that, though. I won’t make Eleanor the long-suffering wife who has to deal with my bullshit.

I’ve already filled my bullshit quota with her. She deserves someone bullshit-free.

I’m not ready to let her go. I’m not sure I can make her stay with me either.

Love might not be simple. But it doesn’t have to be hard.

37

ELEANOR

Jolene places a cupcake on my table. “Happy last day!”

I look at the pretty cupcake, my favorite flavor from the bakery nearby.

Then I burst into tears.

“Woah! That’s not the reaction I expected!”

I sniffle, wiping at my eyes. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m just . . .”

Everything that had slotted into place no longer fits. Luke hasn’t spoken to me in a week, and I miss him with every fiber of my being. I wake up in the middle of the night with tears running into my ears. I wrap my arms around myself, imagining his embrace. I mourn the future we were supposed to have together.

It feels like the end.

“Honey, come here.” Jolene hugs me. “You’ve had a rough go lately, I know. But it’s okay. Things will all work out.”

“If he breaks up with me, why the hell did I stay here?”

“You said you loved Austin. That was why you were staying.”

I roll my eyes. “Who was I kidding?”

“You’re being ridiculous. You belong here, Eleanor. With Luke or not.”

I want the “with Luke.” I don’t think I’ll survive the “not.”

“Tell you what. We’ll go out tonight. Go see a show, huh? We’ll enjoy ourselves. And you’ll remember why you’re staying.”

“No, Jolene, that’s—”

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