Page 56 of Wren's Winter

My thoughts of the previous night of asking her to stay were flawed in the daylight. I couldn’t ask her, not anymore. Not unless I was sure that was what she wanted.

Turning the truck on, I listened to the rumble of the engine before putting it in drive to make my ascent up to my mountain. Was I enough for someone like Wren? I had no experience in this, no way of knowing if I was going to get it right. A few blocks down from the grocery store, I stopped at a red light, three cars back from the intersection. My head hitting the headrest, I glanced to the right into Marta’s diner. Framed like something out of a Hallmark movie was Wren sitting across from Buck. Even the window had the sprayed-on snow paint and little gold and red ornaments hanging across green garland. Transfixed, I watched as he reached across the table, taking her hand and lacing his fingers with hers. The same hand I held hours before. Pull away, dammit. Push him off. I willed her to leave him for daring to touch what was no longer his. But she didn’t. She smiled at him, that beautiful bright smile. The smile that made me feel like I had swallowed the sun and would be warm forever. The smile I wanted to wake-up to every morning. A smile that never belonged to me. Behind me, a driver was leaning on their horn, the street before me empty. I gunned my engine, barely making my way across the intersection before the light turned red.

It might be nothing. They had been together for years, and there was bound to be something between them. She never promised me a thing. Maybe I had taken the high of finding her on my porch as a sign from my grandparents. Maybe this was all in my head. Turning onto the mountain road, doubt tickled at the back of my throat.

Wren

There were so many things I wished I could have said to Adrian. Someone more skilled would have handled the situation with more grace and aplomb. Instead, I gaped at him like some wide mouth trout and could barely get the intelligible words together to make a sentence. Adrian probably thought I was a colossal idiot. Again.

There was a moment where I should have said something to Buck, but what was there to say on the front porch seconds after seeing the man you’ve been sleeping with and your ex-boyfriend standing there together?

It wasn’t as if I was going to make some declarations while standing in my socks and oversized cardigan.

But maybe I should have.

Who knew what Adrian wanted from me? And now, I needed to get rid of Buck. Knowing my ex, he was oblivious to the tension between me and Adrian. An uneasiness crept into my stomach at the way Adrian stared at me before he walked away. Should I have chased him down, made sure he had nothing to worry about with Buck?

This was all new to me. Navigating these fraught situations was never a skill I possessed, thus my terrible introduction.

My sweater wrapped tighter around me. I studied Adrian’s house. I couldn’t tell where he was. Was he thinking about me? There was no way he thought I’d get back with Buck, right?

With a head shake, I let that thought go. Surely not. He had to know me enough by now. Resolute, I formed a plan. I would talk to Buck, make it clear that we were just friends and that whatever scheme he had for showing up here wasn’t going to work. Knowing him, he was probably horny and figured I’d be lonely enough to get back together, if only for a few days.

I huffed out a low laugh at the idea. Sleeping with Buck would be borderline boring after being Adrian. That man had ruined me for all other men. Just the idea of Buck’s skinny dick and weird, stabby thrusts made my lips turn up in disgust.

A low sound of the water being turned off sounded from down the hall, and I turned to find Buck emerging from the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist. “The water pressure here sucks.”

Digging my nails into my forearms, I frowned at him. “Make yourself at home, why don’t you?”

He laughed, as if my comment was the least bit funny. “Home, right. This place is such a dump. They don’t even have cell reception out here. Why you insisted on this spot is beyond me.”

A scratching heat simmered under my skin. “What do you want, Buck?”

Dropping his towel, he stood naked in the front room as he dug through his bag for his clothes. “I told you I couldn’t get a hold of you and got worried.”

“Did you stop to consider that maybe I didn’t want to talk to you?”

“No, why wouldn’t you?”

Under my finger, the scar behind my ear depressed. I rubbed it a few times, taking a gulp of air. I opened my mouth to speak, but Buck interrupted me before I could get the words out. “Let’s go eat. My treat. We can talk there.”

While I didn’t see the point, I nodded my head. I didn’t want to spend more time with Buck, but the idea of being only feet away from Adrian and not being with him was far worse. Once I sent Buck on his way, I could resume whatever this was between me and Adrian.

“Fine. Lunch. I’ll drive.”

We took my car. I didn’t want Buck to have control over where we went and when we would leave. Even though it had been three days in this town, it was mine. Once in the car, he fiddled with my radio, connecting his phone to play his music.

“Can you not do that?” I asked as he pushed buttons on my console.

“I have to reconnect my phone. It’s not showing up on here anymore.”

“Gee, I wonder why,” I quipped, rolling my eyes. Buck didn’t seem to notice, still helping himself to my stereo. His White-boy rap on, he sat back in his seat, singing along to the song.

As always, I made two wrong turns while trying to find my way downtown. As we passed the bustling area of the riverside stores, I put my blinker on to turn into one of the paid parking lots.

“No, not here. These places are too busy. You know anywhere quieter?” he asked.

“I don’t know. I haven’t really had a chance to visit all the spots here.”

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