Page 1 of The Christmas Nanny

Chapter one

Christine

I needed a way out. Until I found a way to rid myself of Jeremy and my job, life would always be chaotic with unrealized dreams and no hope for the future I deserved. That’s not the way I wanted to write my story. I didn’t want to put the pen in someone else’s hand.

I needed a job that would pay the bills: a credit card, a student loan, a car loan, and a phone. It would provide a place to live, rent-free, and get me the hell away from Jeremy. Finally, give me health insurance and a 401k. I laughed and logged off the computer, ready for the day to be over. Christmas was two weeks away, and I wasn’t even close to wishing goodwill toward all men.

“About time to go home,” Annette said. She plopped down in the chair beside my desk. Her Christmas dress radiated green and red like a forest on fire. “Got big plans this weekend?” She flicked the Elf on a Shelf on my desk in the face, and he landed face-first in the trashcan. Last week, Bob brought in a Barbie and took a picture of Elf giving it to her doggy-style. Elf probably belonged in the trash with Bob’s mind.

“Right,” I said. “You know as well as I do that I have zero excitement in my life. And I do mean zero. Jeremy and some friends are coming over to watch the game. I’m trying to find something else to do to keep me away from my own apartment. That’s what my life has become. ” I rescued Elf from the trash and placed him on the cubicle wall. Bob grabbed him, and I didn’t bother trying to see what new position Elf was fucking Barbie.

“Wait, what? That asshole has his own place. Tell them to go there.” Annette absolutely despised Jeremy and the way he treated me. I knew he needed to go. It was just a matter of making him go. I hated feeling lonely, though I hadn’t done much to find a better replacement. “Deacon and I are heading to the gorge to hike and spend the night before the snow moves in Sunday night. You’re welcome to join us. The cabin has three rooms.”

“I’m sure Deacon would love a third wheel on the trip.” I turned and crossed my legs, rubbing my left calf. I slipped my shoes on and sighed, dreading the cold.

“He doesn’t know yet, but my period started early.”

“I definitely don’t want to go then,” I said. “You’ll both be cranky.” I grabbed my purse from beneath the desk and stood. I hated my freaking job with a passion. The boss sucked, most of the employees sucked, and only closing for a week at Christmas sucked. “Tonight’s a free night, though. I think Jeremy’s going to Cincy to visit his parents. I need to finish a bottle of wine at home and a drawing I’ve been working on.”

“You need to draw the line with Jeremy,” Annette said. “Kick that worthless piece of shit to the curb, stop letting him spend your money, and stop letting him treat you like crap. And don’t buy that asshole anything for Christmas.”

I hadn’t gotten anything for anyone. Behind for the tenth straight Christmas. “You sound like Scrooge.” I held up a hand before she started on me again. “I will.” Or, I would as soon as I found the willpower. A certain amount of dread came with dating Jeremy. Ending things with a narcissist invariably brought even more dread. He’d tell me everything I’d done wrong that he had done wrong instead of me. My character flaw was trusting too much. That led to people running all over me. It didn’t pay to be kind. I needed a turn at getting what I wanted, and to hell with entitled people.

Annette grabbed her stuff from her cubicle and met me at the elevator. We both rolled our eyes at the mistletoe our asshole boss hung above the elevator. “Heard from your mom today?”

“Not yet. Her chemo wasn’t until one, so she’s probably just now finishing up. Dad will call as soon as it’s finished.”

Mom and Dad lived three hours away in Knoxville. Mom’s treatments were ending, and they were both happy to get it over with. I felt bad not being there for them, though the doctors were pleased with her progress and decided to end treatment early. They weren’t ready to call her cancer-free but thought she could return to everyday life—one less thing to worry over. Sometimes, I was spread so thin that I wished I’d had a sibling.

We stepped onto the empty elevator, and the doors closed. “I’m looking for a new job,” Annette said. “It’s time to move on. This shit’s getting old. I caught our perv boss looking at my ass at the copier this morning. Douchebag had a hard-on the size of a Vienna Sausage. He walked by and said, ‘Santa loves him some ho ho ho.’”

“I’ve been looking, too,” I said. “I’m tired of sitting at a desk all day, listening to Bob bitch and complain in the cubicle next to me. And he always forgets to turn the sound down before he jumps on Pornhub. Throw in his belching and farting, and I’m just done. I need something with more freedom and a few less assholes.” The elevator opened to the lobby, and we headed outside. “Maybe something with kids since it looks like I’ll never have any of my own.”

“You’re thirty,” Annette said. “You have time. Hold off on changing shitty diapers and wiping snotty noses. Kids are a drag on your life.”

“Jeremy isn’t interested in kids.”

Annette rolled her eyes. “It’s because he is a kid. He’s also an asshole, and you can do so much better. He does whatever he wants, spends your money, and I bet he’s still shitty in bed.”

“He’s worse than shitty.” We stopped at our cars. “I know. It’s just a matter of doing it.”

“Have a good weekend, Christine. If you change your mind, I’m a phone call away.” Annette opened her door and tossed her purse inside the car.

“Good luck with your period.”

“Deacon’s going to be so thrilled.” She smiled. “I’ve got other places for his thing.”

I shook my head and climbed into the car. If I dropped Jeremy now, I’d end up at my parents' house on Christmas Eve alone with all the extended family asking me why I didn’t have someone. What was wrong with me? Couldn’t I satisfy a man? If they’d known about my past, satisfying a man would never come into question. But I was done with that life and had been for years. Maybe that’s why I had Jeremy. It made me forget the past. No. Jeremy was my way of punishing myself for those indiscretions.

On the way home, I stopped at Number One Panda and grabbed Chinese to go. In the car, I cracked open the fortune cookie: Never trust your gut on an empty stomach. Nice. On the back of the fortune were numbers to pick for the lottery. As if.

I turned up the radio and headed home, the smell of Chinese feeding my hunger pangs, “A White Christmas” on the radio helping to wash away the day’s stress. The stress would return on Christmas Eve and turn it into “A Depressing Christmas.” Damn, I needed a change.

I really didn’t want Jeremy and his friends at my apartment. They would trash the place and cause the neighbors to complain. I’d get another one of those notices taped to my door from the landlord. Luckily, the landlord had yet to follow through on his paper threats.

Annette was right. I needed to send Jeremy packing and get on with my life no matter what family said on Christmas Eve. I’d tell them I couldn’t decide which man to bring, so I left them all home.

The apartment was dark and cold, and for a moment, I considered calling Jeremey to see if he’d keep me company if he got back from Cincy early. No. I couldn’t do that. The guy cared only about himself. He made everything about him and cared nothing about anyone in his life. I was finally going to put my foot down. I could be alone without being lonely. I didn’t need a man to make me happy. True, but someone to talk to and do more than play video games with would be awesome.

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