Page 12 of The Christmas Nanny

“You’re right, she’s not here anymore.” I’d have to get rid of Emily’s stuff still in the bedroom and bathroom, though I suspected she’d already moved on and didn’t care. I grabbed a screwdriver from a kitchen drawer and removed the lock. I tossed the lock in the trash. “Done.”

“You really didn’t have to,” she said. “I talk too much.”

“But you want to see what’s down there?”

She put a finger on her chin as if she were concentrating. “Well, let’s see. I just met you. You showed up at my apartment, and I’m now at your house, standing by a dog named Slim Shady that’s barking at a dark basement you’re asking me if I would like to see.”

Yeah, it was all creepy as hell. “Yes, I think that sums it up. I closed the door. Maybe another time.”

“Can I use your bathroom before we go?”

I showed her where the bathroom was and went back to the foyer. There would be another opportunity to show her the basement. I’d have to prepare her first. She returned a few minutes later.

“Sorry, I wasn’t being nosy, but I saw the suit hanging on your bedroom door. It’s hot.” Her eyes lit up.

“Maybe after my interview, and you’re done with yours, we can meet somewhere nice to show off our interview clothes.”

She nodded. “Another date. I’d like that, assuming you don’t run when you see my Mrs Claus outfit.”

Outside, Slim Shady and I opened her car door, and then I put him in the backseat. He laid his head on the console between the front seats and fell asleep before we pulled from the driveway.

I wanted to ask more about her interview but decided it would be too intrusive. I didn’t want to add to the anxiety. I didn’t mention mine because I was embarrassed. A man applying for a nanny job? Very unmanly.

When we got to Christine’s apartment, Slim Shady and I walked Christine to her door. She opened the door, and the kiss I had imagined didn’t occur.

Slim Shady saw Mr Wigglebutt, and Mr Wigglebutt saw Slim Shady. The cat hissed, and the dog charged forward, knocking us to the side. The cat went over the couch’s back, and so did Slim Shady. The couch fell back, knocking a lamp from an end table. The lamp crashed to the floor, but neither cat nor dog stopped.

Christine yelled at Wigglesbutt, and I yelled at Slim Shady. Neither stopped, taking the chase into the bedroom, where Christine had yet to put away a basket of clean clothes. Wigglesbutt jumped in the basket and leaped out when Slim Shady dove in. Slim Shady came out with a pair of thong bikinis around his nose.

“Oh, shit,” Christine said, her face turning red.

“Drop the panties, Slim,” I said. He turned, the panties full of glimmering snot and slobber.

Mister Wigglebutt hissed from the made bed. Slim Shady spotted the cat and bolted. When he hit the bed, he slid forward, entrapping himself. He tossed and turned until he looked like a cocoon. Mr Wibblebutt saw an opportunity.

“Don’t do it, Wigglebutt,” Christine said.

But Wigglebutt was a cat, and they never listened. He scraped Slim Shady across the nose with his claws. Slim yelped and backed out of the blankets, nose bloody, pride hurt. On the floor, he rested his head on Christine’s panties.

“Sorry about that,” I said. Slim Shady averted his eyes. “Give them up.”

Slim Shady whimpered and rolled to his back. Wigglebutt curled on the bed and watched with disinterest. He licked his fur. We were no longer useful to him.

I grabbed the panties with one finger and held it out to Christine. Holding them, I had a lot to say but kept those things to myself. There would be another time for my crude humor.

“Wigglebutt instigated the whole thing. He never meets me at the door. I think he smelled dog the second we got to the door.” She took the panties. “I’ll wash these again.” She threw them into a hamper, and we returned to the kitchen. “That was an exciting end to the day.”

My phone buzzed, and there was a message from my father to give him a call. “I had a good time today,” I said. “Pick you up at six without Slim Shady.” We walked to the door.

“I’ll be ready. I had fun, too.” She opened the door but took a step closer.

I held her chin in my hand, and we kissed under the watchful eyes of cat and dog. The kiss lasted several seconds, neither of us volunteering to pull away. When we parted, I leaned forward and gave her one last peck. “See you tomorrow, Christine.”

“Goodnight, Jacob.”

Slim Shady and I returned to the SUV. He sat in the back seat and watched me. Sometimes, I thought the dog was smiling at me. “You planned that, didn’t you?” Slim Shady barked. “Did it occur to you to run down into the basement when you had the opportunity?”

I’m one of those people who look fantastic on the surface, but once you start peeling away the layers, there’s something there only people like me understand. Why it happened, I’m not sure. How it happened was only a secret to me. What sucks in life is that we have to hide things so as not to be judged. We all want different things out of life. My lifestyle harmed nobody, yet I’d experienced the stares and the whispers. So, I keep who I am hidden. That’s why everyone sees the All-American boy. It’s easier that way. I’m prepared for Christine to walk away when she finds out. Most do.

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