Page 13 of The Christmas Nanny

I took the next left and headed downtown, passing through the uppity section before pulling to the curb in the Dark District. Slim Shady raised his head to the thumping music. A couple walked from Club Chaos, holding hands, their black leather clothes making them part of the night. Like me, when I leave Club Chaos, they will get up in the morning and put on a different face. It’s not fair, but neither is life.

***

I turned in bed, and Slim Shady licked my face. He was ready to go outside for his morning piss. Naked, I padded through the house with the dog, stopping in the kitchen.

“What are you doing here?”

I walked past Emily and let Slim Shady out back.

“Why’d you take the lock off the door? You know I don’t like what you have down there.”

I needed to get her key back. “Why should I hide what is part of me?”

“Because I don’t like it. It makes you look like a sick fuck!”

Slim Shady came back inside, and I shut the door. “You need to leave Emily. On your way out, drop the key on the foyer table. I thought we were done anyway.”

“We’re not done until I say we’re done.”

“You made it apparent yesterday that we were done.” I started toward the front door. Slim Shady stayed in the kitchen. So did Emily.

It’s not wrong when people say a dog is a man’s best friend because when Slim Shady sneezed, he sent Emily scrambling toward the foyer.

“That fucking dog is gross, Jacob. Why do you keep such a disgusting animal?”

“So he can chase off other disgusting animals.” I opened my hand. “Put the key in my hand and walk out the door.”

Emily paused. She wasn’t used to being dumped. She once said what man wouldn’t want a piece of her. I let it go because, at the time, she was decent in bed. That decency had sailed off into a sunset. Now she just had a stick up her butt. I was ready to put her and every other narcissist on an island and drop a nuclear bomb in the middle.

“You aren’t seriously considering dumping me?” She put a hand on her hip and brushed her hair back. “You’ll miss this.”

I shook my head. The comment didn’t phase me in the least. “I’ve already moved on, Em. You should do the same.” Naked, I opened the front door. Slim Shady barked.

“That’s okay, Jacob. I was done dating a failure anyway.”

Emily walked out the door, and, luckily, I never saw her again.

“I’d say that went as well as expected, Slim Shady.” I crossed my arms and stared at the dog. “Although you could have warned me she was in the house.”

I pulled the Santa suit from the top of the closet and tried it on. No kids would be at the festival, so the fact the tight leather showed an outline of my dick wouldn’t matter. I felt bad for not showing it to Christine first. The last thing she would expect is a leather-wearing Santa Claus. I had a backup costume in the attic, just in case.

My phone buzzed again, and Dad’s face appeared on the screen. I couldn’t put it off any longer.

“Hey, Dad,” I said, putting the phone on speaker. I took off the Santa clothes while he talked.

“Are you at the gym?” He knew I wasn’t because the room was quiet.

“I had to close it, Dad. The big boys were too much competition.”

I walked away from the phone while Dad went on and on about what a mistake the gym had been. From the bathroom, I heard him talk about failure and learning from failure. I brushed my teeth while he spoke about the advantages of working for him and everything I would learn. Not once did he ask what I wanted to do next. He assumed the gym closing was the universe telling me to work for him. He mentioned something about coming into the office next week so that I could get started on my new career.

“How’s Wednesday sound, Dad?” I asked.

“What’s wrong with Monday?”

“I need to finish things with the gym and sign papers.” That was me temporarily conforming to his expectations. Everything was signed, but I wanted to check out the nanny interview before committing to anything else.

“Okay,” he finally said, and my mother jumped on the call. She went on and on about not stopping by enough, not giving her grandkids, and then started in about their health. I cared about all those things but also needed a break from caring. My parents operated in high society and didn’t understand the workings of anything below their status. Everyone, including me, was put on the planet to serve them. No, thank you. Mom got another call and ended ours.

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