Page 81 of Whispers of Fire

Damn, she doesn’t even realize what she does to me.

“Wanna talk about why your eyes were red when you got out of the building today?” I ask, watching the view, giving her space to answer.

She sighs and starts to write. I expect her to turn the piece of paper toward me after a few secs, but she keeps on going, as if the words were flowing out of her. After a few minutes and four whole-ass full pages she hands it to me, her smile faltering.

I swallow the popcorn and furrow my brows while I start to read.

Holy fuck.

She wrote so fuckin’ much, from her doubts since I told her about her leader buying guns from us, to her parents forcing her to marry, to her “Shepherd” asking her for a fucking kiss, to her snooping into his office today and finding a proof of his involvement and her father’s in the murder of six girls, to her realisation that her whole community has been a lie from the beginning. And she fuckin’ got sick afterward after discovering all this shit and I wasn’t even there for her!

Damn it.

I bite my fist.

“Fuck, Angel, I take you out on a drive like it’s a fuckin’ normal day when you’ve been through all this shit.” I fist the paper and let it fall on the ground. She shakes her head like it’s no big deal but the tears on her cheeks say otherwise.

“Come here, sweetheart,” I say. Without even waiting for her to move, I grab her hips and make her straddle my laps, facing my chest, letting her head fall on my shoulder, ignoring the heat from her thighs on mine.

“That’s too fuckin’ much to feel for one person,” I say, making circular motions with my hand on her back. Never done this before but I follow my gut. She doesn’t resist, her body melting into mine as if she belongs there, and fuck, if that ain’t the most right thing in this goddamn world, then I don’t know shit about anythin’ anymore. I press a soft kiss to her hair, inhaling her scent.

We stay like this for a while, until I pull her face out of my neck, locking her blue eyes with mine.

“Your…” she coughs then winces, “…turn,” she manages to whisper, making me so fuckin’ damn proud of her for still tryin’ to talk even though she has to fight for each word to get out. Don’t want to tell her to stop doin’ it, not right now, not when she’s carrying so much on her shoulders and need support more than my obsession to protect her.

“Don’t know how to tell ya, Angel,” I say, trying to hold the sadness from my voice.

“It’s that bad?” she signs, and I get it. I nod. “Yeah, that bad.”

Shaking her head, she closes her eyes as if she was making a wish for somethin’ to not happen.

My girl. Always so fuckin’ adorable .

“Ares, my prez, wants me to head to Seattle on the 30th. We… damn it, I shouldn’t tell ya’ but we’re takin’ over another gang. It’s gonna be bloody and violent as hell, but we’ll get through it. I just… fuck.”

Can’t find the words, can’t tell her for the first time in my life I want to defy my prez. Can’t even admit it myself that I’d rather take a risk on us than expand the club territory like I’ve always wanted to do.

The club has been my number one priority since I lost my family. The guys became my brothers, guys I would take a bullet for without a single blink. Thought it would be enough, that with them, booze, occasional one-night stands and my bike, I had all the cards in hand to go on with my life.

And I had, until I met her, and then my world fell off its axis. Now I just can’t ignore how important she has become for me. Rose is sharp and brave, she’ll want to discover the world once I help her escape, and she won’t want anythin’ to do with me.

I’m fuckin’ sure of it.

Despite dreaming like a fool of some future together, truth is, she’ll most likely want to figure things out by herself, and I can’t fuckin’ blame her for it. I’ll support her no matter what. All I have is now, cause people I love tend to fuckin’ disappear from my life and I know it will happen again, cause I just ain’t lucky at this thing called life.

“Seattle? On the other side of the country?” she writes quickly, tappin’ the pen on the paper, her eyes wide and panicked.

“You’re leaving.” She keeps on writing, “What did I do?”

“Nothin’, Angel, you’re perfect. I’m the VP of the club, ya know. And I gotta do what I gotta do.” That’s it, I’m gonna put on a brave fuckin’ face and not admit how fuckin’ dead I am inside. Cause no good can come out of it, I’m just a killer and she’s… fuck, she’s everything and more and she deserve better than the life I’ve got to offer her.

“Why? Why are you doing this?” Her blue eyes are in full panic mode.

“Orders, sweetheart. At the end of the day, Ares is my prez and I owe it to him.”

“I thought…” Her lower lip trembles.

“Rose, I ain’t got anythin’ to offer you. I told ya before, I’m not a good man.”

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