Page 114 of Easy Out

I want my dad.

Letting out another heavy breath, I pull into a parking spot near the front of the coffee shop and shut off my car.

I don’t know what to expect today. As it is, it took me almost two weeks to ask Hart what happened after I left with Enzo on Thanksgiving. He filled me in on the back history Morelli shared.

I suppose his story makes sense. It would explain why I don’t remember him or Enzo. If I’m doing the math right, they would have stopped visiting around the time I started kindergarten.

The coffee shop off campus has a steady flow of customers rushing in and out with their afternoon pick me-up. I search the large picture windows for Morelli. He’s probably not here yet. I’m a few minutes early. I figured I might need time to compose myself, but now I just want to rip the bandage off.

Here goes nothing.

I exit my car and take quick steps to the front door of the coffee shop. The cold January air has enough of a bite I’m fastening my coat around my neck.

Inhaling the comforting aroma of coffee beans and vanilla, my body relaxes. My eyes roam the room until they land on a man with dark brown hair and the same hazel eyes as mine.

Morelli has one hand on his coffee and the other is drumming on the table nervously. I take tentative steps toward him. You can do this. It’s just a conversation.

When he notices me walking in his direction, he stands to greet me. His arms hang stiffly at his sides and his hands flex as if he’s holding himself back from hugging me.

“Hello,” he says, and takes his seat. I remove my coat and fold it before placing it on the booth seat.

“Hi,” I say, sliding into my seat.

“It should still be hot. I ordered it when you pulled into the parking lot.” Morelli grins and slides a coffee in my direction.

I wrap my hands around the mug, letting the heat warm them up. “Thank you.” I cautiously take a sip. I almost moan it tastes so delicious. Just the way I like it. How did he know?

“Hart.” He answers my unspoken question. “I asked him what your usual is. I wanted to earn a few brownie points.” I nod acknowledging him. “I always thought someone knowing your coffee order was a sign that they loved you. Or at least cared enough to remember it.”

I know Hart loves me and it isn’t because he knows my coffee order. Although it is sweet every time he brings me coffee before class. I think he’s finally learned I’m a lot nicer in the mornings after a few cups of coffee.

“Is that how you knew my mom loved you?” The questions slips past my mental filter. I’m as shocked as he is by it. “Sorry.”

Morelli lets out a long sigh. “Don’t be. That’s why we’re here. I want to answer all your questions, Lauren.” He winces slightly. “It’s going to take me awhile to get used to calling you that.”

I want to tell him it’s going to take me awhile to get used to a lot of things. He can deal with this one minor change.

The symphony of a busy coffee shop fills the silence between us. He takes a long sip of his coffee. “To answer your question, no. That isn’t how I knew your mother loved me.” He spins his cup in his hands, lost in a trance.

“I felt it. When she looked at me a certain way. I just knew she did. I wasn’t an easy guy to love, but she did it anyway.” When his eyes land on mine I have to look away.

I straighten in my seat. “What happened? Why did you leave her? You crushed her. There was never anyone else.” His face drains of a little color with this information. I don’t know if it’s because he wanted to be with her. Is he sad he wasn’t?

That can’t be right because it’s obvious he loves Victoria. Or maybe it’s because he thought my mom was with someone else and had he known the truth things would have turned out differently for all of us.

“I can assume Hart told you part of the story.” I nod.

“Why didn’t you stay with her?” With me. I tamp down the wave of emotion that is already threatening to wash away the protective walls I’ve built around my heart.

“When I left Alabama the first time, Tori and I had broken up a few days earlier. She broke up with me because she didn’t want to do long distance. We spent my last night together and the next day I was in Seattle.

“I met Gemma my second day in the city. We slowly became friends. Then more.” He pauses and I silently urge him to continue with his story. “After my assignment was over, I left with the intention of packing up my life in Alabama and moving to Seattle permanently.” My head drops.

That clearly didn’t happen. “But you didn’t. You didn’t come back for us. For me." I stare at my hands in my lap. My fingers are red, almost purple from gripping them so hard.

“When I arrived in Alabama, Tori told me she was pregnant with Enzo. I did what I thought a man should do.” Morelli’s voice cracks. Raw emotion is a live wire on his face. “I asked Tori to move to Seattle. I wanted to get her a place close by.

“I wanted to be with Gemma. I loved her. I wanted a future with her.” I’m afraid to speak. I don’t want to interrupt his confession. But the need to call him out for being a liar is on the tip of my tongue. If he really felt all these things, he would have been with us.

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