Page 63 of Light It Up Red
“Before I was shot, the guy said: this is for Liliana.”
Mr. Valentino’s spine noticeably straightens. “Come again?”
“What the fuck?” Alessandro yells.
“I didn’t exactly get to ask him questions,” I remind them.
“He said those exact words?” Mr. Valentino attempts to clarify.
“Yes.” I nod. “You can’t tell her, though. She already thinks this is her fault. I will not have her blaming herself more than she is. I need her to believe that this had nothing to do with her.”
Mr. Valentino and Alessandro have what sounds to be a heated conversation in Italian before the latter storms out of the room.
“Can I see her?”
Mr. Valentino looks at me for a long minute. “If you can make it up the stairs. Second door on your left,” he grunts as he walks around the desk, picks up his phone, and brings it to his ear.
“Thank you.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Istartle awake. I swear I could hear Travis calling out for me at some point. I rub my hands over my face, the reality of my current situation sinking in with each second that passes.
I drag my ass out of the bed and walk into the bathroom. Turning on the hot water, I wait for the room to steam up before I strip off and get under the spray. I let the tears fall freely down my face as I slowly go through the motions of showering.
I need to find a way to stop this pain, to ease it even a little bit. Either that or learn to live with the constant ache, the emptiness I feel in the pit of my stomach. As my hands angrily swipe at my tears, I make a vow to never put myself in this position again.
Travis will forever be my person. No amount of distance between us will change that. He’s just also the person I know I can’t have. Not if I want him to live a full and happy life. And I do want that. More than anything, I want him to live. Because as much as I’m hurting now, as hard as it is to stay away from him, I know it’d be a thousand times worse if he died.
I turn off the shower, wrap a towel around my body, and grab another one from the shelf. After wiping my face, I run the towel over my hair, squeezing the water out of the ends before dropping it on the floor. I pick up my hair tie and pile the damp strands into a messy bun on top of my head. Then I walk out of the bathroom and over to the bag I left on the chair by the window. I make it halfway across the room when I stop and stare at the figure currently propped up on the bed.
I close my eyes and count to ten. When I open them again, he’s still there. I thought for sure I was seeing things. I take in every feature, every part of his body, before I make the mistake of meeting his gaze. Neither of us moves for what seems like an eternity until Travis slowly stands and takes a step towards me.
My hand shoots up. “Stop. Don’t…” I shake my head. I cannot let him touch me. If I do, I don’t know if I’ll be strong enough to walk away from him again.
“Lili.” His voice is low, and I can see the hurt in his eyes.
“I can’t…” I swallow down the rest of my words. “Travis, what are you doing here? You should be in the hospital.”
“No, where I should be is wherever you are, Lili.”
“We can’t… You should leave.”
“I’m not leaving,” he says. “We need to talk about this, Lili.”
“There’s nothing to talk about. It’s not safe for you to be here, Travis. It’s not safe for you to be with me. I’m not going to be the reason you die,” I tell him.
“I didn’t fucking die, Lili. I’m alive and well. Standing right here in front of you.” He taps on his chest for emphasis.
“For how long? Until the next time? Travis, my family… we have enemies. I should have known better than to let you get so close. And for that, I’m sorry.”
“Bullshit. You’re scared and I get it. I really do. But I will not let you fucking run from this. You and me, it’s… I’m not giving you up,” he says.
“You don’t have a choice. You have to. You’ll find someone else, Travis. You’ll find a normal girl, with a normal family. And live a long, normal life.” My stomach turns even as I say those words. I don’t want him to find anyone else. I know that’s completely irrational and selfish of me, though.
Travis laughs. It’s a dark, hysterical kind of sound that lacks any actual humor. “You really want me to just move on? Go out there, find some other chick, and forget you ever existed?” His face screws up. Like just the thought makes him sick.
My mouth is dry, and my heart is beating out of my chest. “I don’t see any other way for this to end. Not if I want you to keep breathing.”
