Page 70 of Light It Up Red
You’re here.
Sweet Lili:
I wasn’t going to miss your first game as a Knight.
Me:
Come down to the tunnel.
The little dots pop up on the screen before they’re gone again. I watch Lili turn to Aliyah and then step away from the window. Fuck, I fucking scared her off.
I run my hands through my hair. I’m so fucking frustrated. I feel out of control, out of my depths when it comes to her. I keep telling myself that I just have to be patient. That she’ll come to her senses. I know she will. I have to believe that. Because the alternative—the idea that I’ve lost her forever—isn’t something I can live with.
I try to turn my attention back on the ice. I should be cheering on my teammates. I should be focused on the game. Hockey used to be the love of my life. I honestly never thought anything could top it. Until I met Lili.
At the end of the first period, I get up and walk down the tunnel before the rest of the team is even off the ice. I stop dead in my tracks when I get to the locker room and Lili is standing with Aliyah just outside the door. I stare at her. Frozen to the spot. Almost too scared to move an inch and risk her running off.
“Hey.” Lili gives me a sad smile.
“Hi.” The rest of the guys make their way inside the locker room—well, everyone except King. He stops and scoops Aliyah into his arms and spins her around.
She reaches out a hand to swat at his chest. “Ew, put me down. You’re all sweaty.”
“You love it when I’m sweaty.” King grins and earns himself a slap upside the back of his head from Gray.
“That’s my fucking sister, dick.”
“I’m well aware,” King replies before setting Aliyah back on her feet and following Grayson into the locker room.
I wait until everyone is gone before I speak again. “That’s a good look,” I tell Lili. She’s wearing my Knights jersey. Seeing my number on her is always the biggest fucking turn-on.
“Thanks. I couldn’t not support the best player on the team,” she says.
“I heard that, Lil,” Grayson yells out from the locker room.
I take a step towards her. “Thanks for coming.”
“My dad forced me… It’s not that I didn’t want to be here. I just didn’t want to complicate things,” she says.
I reach out and grab hold of her hand. Such a simple fucking touch. Yet the instant my skin makes contact with hers, I feel a strong sense of peace wash over me. Like I’ve just come home after being away for a long time.
“I’ve missed you so fucking much,” I whisper and pull her against me.
She’s tense for a moment before I feel her body relax and lean into mine. Her arms close around my waist. “I’m so sorry. I wish things could be different. I really do,” she says.
“They can be, Lili. The only people who get to decide our fate are us. You and me. That’s all that matters. As long as we’re together, we can overcome anything.” I kiss the top of her head.
“I wish it were that simple.” Lili pulls away from me, and I can feel her trying to put distance between us in more ways than one.
“Tell me that you don’t love me… Tell me you don’t love me and I’ll stop fighting for us.” It’s a lie. I’m never going to stop fighting. But she doesn’t need to know that.
“I can’t…” She shakes her head and drops her eyes to the ground.
“Then I’m going to keep fighting for us. I will never stop.” I tip her chin up and force her to look at me.
“I have to go. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come down here. I just wanted to… I needed to see you,” she admits.
“You should stay. You can watch the game from the bench with me.” I lift a shoulder in a half-shrug. Pretending like it’s no big deal.
