My gaze fell on his corpse. He was dead even though his head was still attached. I’d done that. I’d killed him by sucking his life out.
I shoved Fane away and fell to my hands and knees, dry heaving as I tried to purge the demon’s life.
“What’s happening to her?”
Hawk.
Cold chills raked over me as everything rushed back. He’d seen me consume Mykel’s life like a demon would a soul. He saw me as the Infernal Sol took over.
Hawk already despised what I’d become, but now he’d never be able to look at me again.
Why did knowing he’d hate me forever hurt so much?
Fane kneeled beside me, pulling my head up as tears streaked my face. “There’s nothing you can do. What’s done is done.”
I choked on air, barely filling my lungs. “He’s inside of me.” As my arms gave out, Fane pulled me against him, holding me. I raked my fingers down my throat and chest, wanting to rip it open and tear Mykel out. “Get him out of me.”
The demon shifter snatched my hands before my talons really did shred my flesh. “You can’t. It doesn’t work like that.”
A sob slipped out, and the pain in my abdomen intensified. I’d rather die than feel the dux demon’s life roiling in me, screaming to be freed. Would his presence ever fade? I had too many things living in me already. Another being would surely drive me over the edge.
Maybe that was why the Infernal Sol was linked to insanity. It consumed fears and life until it was soaked in madness.
The tombstones swayed and blurred as figures rushed through them. They were shifters. I could barely make out Jax’s blond hair shining in the moonlight.
My lids fluttered for a moment, and when I opened them again, Hawk loomed over us, his cheeks pale and eyes haunted.
They were almost as haunted as mine now.
He saw me at my worst. And even though I saved his life, I believed he wanted to take that sword and finish me off.
A chain of explosions erupted in me, and fire bled through my veins as my mind worked its way back to consciousness. My eyes opened to the room I shared with Fane at Silver Ridge, his scent the first thing I noticed beyond the pain. Tears rolled down my cheeks from the sheer agony in my body. Everything hurt, even my damn teeth.
“Welcome back.”
Fane’s gruff voice had me turning to the left, finding him sitting in an uncomfortable chair by the bed, much like he did after his ex-fated tried to kill me. Anger flowed from him in thick, choking waves.
“I didn’t call on the Infernal Sol to help me.” At least not consciously. “It just took over.”
Fane leaned forward, pinning me with a fiery stare. “I’m pissed you snuck out of the compound and got yourself stabbed while protecting that irresponsible and reckless boy.”
“Leave Hawk out of this.” I rubbed my temples as a headache throbbed behind my eyes. “If he hadn’t been there, it would have been me against Mykel and Venna.”
“A lot of good that raven did.” Fane scoffed and leaned back in the chair, the wood creaking from his substantial form. “You killed Mykel, and I took out Venna. Hawk didn’t do shit except look at you like—” His lips pressed together, cutting off his words.
Shame washed over me at Hawk’s horrified expression after the Infernal Sol took over and I sucked Mykel dry. My stomach churned as his taste filled my mouth, but I didn’t feel his presence roiling within me anymore. Maybe he was gone. Or maybe the demon amulet swallowed him whole.
“I’m not surprised you’re capable of taking a demon’s life,” Fane said. “The Infernal Sol is a powerful stone with a mind of its own.”
I crossed my arms over my chest as if that would keep the sickness and emotional pain from bursting out. “I never want to do that again.”
“What if it’s the only way to save your life?”
I shrugged, wincing as a sharp pain whipped through my abdomen where gauzy bandages covered the stab wound. I’d rather die than consume another life like that.
Liar.
I ignored the other me’s voice.