Page 26 of Playing For Keeps

“Well, first off, you weren’t supposed to be there. So, I expected to miss you—a little,” she clarified, smiling. “And then you were, and I asked you back here and…”

“And?” He tried to ignore the piercing hope cutting through him at her statement, or the dark wanting that seemed to seethe in him at varying levels of intensity throughout the day.

“And we keep doing this dance. I’m not sure where this is headed. I’m sorry for Corinne by the way. I’m not sure how it was for you, but it was a little like middle school.” They chuckled at the comparison and how close it rang to the truth.

“She’s overly involved. She used to take it upon herself to try and pair me up. So, I apologize for how strong she came on, and if she made you say stuff you didn’t mean or weren’t ready for.” Farren was getting flustered again, and Sebastian found he very much enjoyed it. Not that he didn’t appreciate her humor, or the surety in how she carried herself. But this new side of her was even more adorable, the openness and fragility of what emerged between them too enticing for him to avoid any longer.

“I didn’t say anything I didn’t mean. Sure, we didn’t get to have that discussion beforehand, and it might seem a little sudden. But I like you, Farren. I only hope you feel the same because I’m sort of out of my depth here.” His own vulnerability was on display for her now. Sebastian felt more than a little exposed, unused to having people see deeper than the surface, new to them even wanting to.

Farren seemed to want to. She looked at him like his revelation struck something inside of her, a resounding chord echoing the noise in his own chest.

“I… I like you too. It would be a lie to say I didn’t enjoy hearing you say those things in front of my friends. I’m only sorry we didn’t have the moment to ourselves.” Her statement was a little breathy, the huskiness of it doing something wildly inappropriate to his insides. His mind reached for the imagined sound of it wrapped around his name and followed by moans.

“We have it now,” he responded, his own voice deep and faded around the edges, the heat that built within him escaping with his smoky tone.

They were alone together. The prospect never seemed as enticing as it did right then. Sebastian leaned over for a kiss, and Farren responded with an intensity he hadn’t been expecting. His arms wrapped around her, and her hands threaded through his hair, holding him in place with the slightest bit of pressure. She was intoxicating, the scent of her surrounding him. Her hands gripped his biceps, and something tightened deep in his core.

When he finally managed to pull away for a gasping breath, running his hand through his own hair in agitation, a rapid surge of feelings swept through him. Farren’s eyes were wide, pupils almost swallowing the color, lips parted and deliciously waiting for the next onslaught. She seemed to catch herself, consciousness returning in increments. She stood up from the sofa, resting her hand on the edge as if slightly off balance.

“I’ll be back in a sec, would you like some water?” Her voice was barely above a whisper, her eyes trained on the kitchen.

“Please.”

Though the thirst within him, the longing, was for nothing other than her.

Slow your roll. They’d had one date. Officially, if you count them all as dates, then this is technically your fourth date.

His mind was clearly not cooperating. She returned with two glasses of ice water, condensation dripping down the sides, the frosty touch of the glass a shock to his system. Sebastian gulped down a few mouthfuls, feeling the cold snake down his body, settling some of the heat that simmered between them.

He fought the urge to ask her what she wanted. To delve into her mind to see if it corresponded with the turmoil within him. It had been no time at all, taken barely anything for her to reduce him to a mess of a man, thoughts filled with her for the majority of the day. He wondered if she was immune, or if like with the game, there was something deeper hidden beneath her vibrant facade.

Farren saved him from wondering, at least providing a distraction, before it could overwhelm him. Sebastian’s propensity for overthinking would do nothing but send him toward an obsessive loop of playing scenarios and conversations in his mind.

“I’m not quite sure what’s going on here. I’m a little scared, to be honest. When I’m alone with you… heck, even when we’re around other people, I can’t seem to contain myself. I know you and I have very different ways of approaching things, so I’m trying to respect that.” Her gaze seemed to roam everywhere but on him. It seemed like she was trying really hard to be reasonable.

“Different ways of approaching things?” The question fell dumbly from his lips.

“You seem like the sort of man that plans. You think things through. I tend to jump first, ask questions later. It’s gotten me hurt in the past, and it’s left me in some less-than-desirable situations. I’m trying not to jump. I’m trying to take things slow. If that’s what you want?” Her words were soft, careful.

Nope. No way. No slow going.

“I appreciate that, and honestly, I think it’s wise. Best we get to know each other first, so even if it doesn’t work out the way we want, we’re not in too deep.” Easier to heal from a shallow cut. Easier to try and contain his feelings now than lose his head when his dick started controlling the narrative.

Sebastian was way out of his depth, and Farren deserved honesty. He just had to try to find the right words. Even though his mind was at odds with his heart and body. He had to be reasonable.

“I’m not going to pretend I have a lot of experience when it comes to relationships. I’m enjoying letting this unfold without thinking of all the ways this can twine or unravel,” he said.

Such a fucking liar, you’ve already planned all the ways you want to watch her unravel.

“That doesn’t mean I don’t want you, I’m just… trying to do things a little differently this time. I’ve gotten intimate quickly in the past, and it’s never ended well. But trust me when I say this is difficult. It’s hard to back away when all I want is more of you.” Farren’s words seemed to pierce through him, one sentence at a time, until all he could think was how badly he wanted her then and there, the future be damned.

But she’d spoken about respecting his assumed boundaries and wishes, so he had to do the same for her. There was no way he was going to risk her regretting him, or running from what was arguably the best thing to ever happen to him since moving here. Or at least the most alive he’d been in a long time.

Sebastian nodded, and she pressed a chaste kiss against his mouth.

“Okay, so how about as a distraction, you tell me more about game publishing and what you have in mind. Maybe it could shake something loose?” He hoped she wouldn’t think he was overstepping.

She sagged in what he assumed was relief and headed back to where she’d hid her idea, spreading it out between them. Sebastian watched her as she talked, her hands telling as much of a story as her mouth did. He learned about gaming conventions where thousands descended on different cities to play test games, launch ideas, and discover brand new offerings. Companies displayed booths where you could buy not only tabletop games but also trading-card games, Magic: The Gathering (whatever the heck that was) and even merch.

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