Page 36 of Playing For Keeps

It almost slipped out that morning, when she stumbled into her kitchen to notice he’d taken the time to tidy and get her a few groceries after her week away. Sebastian stood by the stove, the extractor fan whirring loudly as he cussed under his breath, trying to keep the bacon smoke from setting off the fire alarm. His brown hair stuck up all angles, pajama pants slung low on his hips, and she wished for a moment he’d been shirtless. Just that tiny, shameless part of her that wanted to jump his bones. They kept dancing around it, Farren worried it might not happen at this rate. Things held steady between them, the emotional side of things growing, both of them holding back on the physical.

After another less-whisper-more-growl expletive from his mouth, Farren couldn’t hold her giggle in anymore. He looked over his shoulder at her, devastating her with a smile before he schooled his face into something a little more serious.

“You’re supposed to be in bed, and I’m supposed to be bringing this into your room as a nice surprise,” he scolded, no ire behind the words.

“Blame it on the smell. Besides, you weren’t in there with me. For a moment, I worried I’d dreamed you.”

“Yeah, that’s me. Man of your dreams.” His lopsided grin and saucy wink had them both dissolving into laughter, and she rewarded his joke with tiny kisses peppered all over his face. It got carried away a little too quickly, the undercurrent of hurt and anger left over from her family bleeding into the kiss, making it rougher than usual.

Sebastian took it in stride, one arm wrapping around her body, the other hand cupping the side of her neck. He pressed her firmly up against the wall, and her heart thundered in her chest as he devoured. Vaguely, she remembered food was cooking nearby, but they didn’t pull apart until the smoke from the spitting bacon set off the fire alarm.

Farren helped him finish up breakfast, popping some bread in the toaster, both a little breathless. She tickled Sebastian’s side as she reached past him to get plates and glasses, trying to shift the mood from its intensity.

Breakfast and the rest of the day together—spent catching up and even some time toward the game that became a bonding point for them—was one of the best she had in a while. They’d finally figured out a win condition that made sense, and Sebastian took the time to start a little document with the rules. His experience with pitching ideas helped her iron out the presentation portion of the game. It was beginning to look like something real. Watching her dream take shape and working on it with someone who believed in her went a long way to soothing the hurt she’d carried back with her. Slowly, she filled him in about what happened with her family, the feelings of unworthiness echoing into adulthood.

Sebastian listened without interruption, kissing her knuckles when she fisted her hands in anger, agonized by how they’d left things.

“And then they had the gall to say they hope they get to meet you soon, maybe the holidays. Without even asking if you’d be with your family, or if you were religious, or if we were even at that point. Besides, I don't know about your work schedule and everything.” Farren scoffed at their assumption, their blind belief she’d even come, let alone bring someone. Sebastian’s face dropped into an expression she could not decipher, but she knew it couldn’t be good.

“Yeah, so about that—” he started, and her stomach dropped.

Before she could ask him about it, assure him how she felt had nothing to do with him, her phone rang.

Had it been her parents, or maybe even Corinne, she wouldn’t have bothered. But Cute Chris’s name flashed across the screen, screaming pop music blaring from the speaker. He usually didn’t call without a reason.

“Can I get this?”

Sebastian nodded, and she answered, putting it on speaker, keeping her fingers crossed that Chris didn’t say anything inappropriate. Though on second thought, she probably shouldn’t have, just to be safe.

“Hey! You’ve been MIA lately!” It was said without malice, not accusing or mean.

“Yeah, there’s been a lot going on. I ended up going to New Hampshire last Friday, and I’ve been there all week. So I missed the last two sessions, sorry!”

“No worries, we all just assumed you were off somewhere with lover-boy, folded in half like a taco or something.”

“Hi Chris,” Sebastian chimed in, and Farren knew her face was flaming, could only hope Chris felt a smidgen of the embarrassment she did.

“Girl! You could have given me a warning!” He sounded fake-scandalized, eliciting laughter from both of them.

“But this was more fun,” Sebastian said, and Farren felt the hole she was digging, the one where she planned to bury her feelings, get even deeper. They hadn’t talked about this, and she wasn’t sure she was ready to have him totally upend her life.

“Listen, do you guys have plans for next Saturday, Halloween?”

Farren looked over at Sebastian, both of them shrugging. It hadn’t come up, at least not until now. So much else took precedence.

“Nope, we’re free. What did you have in mind?”

* * *

It turned out Braxton’s family had a considerable property somewhere in Maryland, and Braxton lived in the old farmhouse that bordered their family’s land. Their relationship with Cute Chris grew steadily, every week blooming into something deeper, Braxton’s own relationship with the group members turning to friendship by the time Halloween approached.

Usually, the group joined one of the various Halloween parties around the city, or hosted a smaller get-together at one of their houses, games broken up with some booze and music. This time, however, Chris convinced Braxton to host a large party out on their land. Outside of helping Braxton host, Chris also took it upon himself to assign a costume theme to the guests, complete with a virtual drawing-of-straws so there’d be no arguing over costume assignments. Farren thought it was overkill, but on the other hand, she also loved dressing up, so she wasn’t going to complain too loudly.

The real cold snap finally arrived, and the leaves reflected the change, not only in weather but in her relationship with Sebastian. Things progressed slowly, painstakingly. Both of them held back for one inane reason or another, his work getting in the way more than once. Her unexpected trip up north and her stubborn fear of being hurt now that she knew her feelings did little to help their progress. But after the last time she’d seen him, how close she’d gotten to uttering words she could never take back… it was time to dive in, to lose herself in him at least once before she fucked it all up and he went running. One last hurrah before she had to get back to work, a fourth-grade placement up near Columbia Heights, starting Monday.

Sebastian would be picking her up a little after five, and they’d drive to Braxton’s acreage.

Farren pulled a stocking cap over her unruly curls, trying her best to control them so she could slip the brunette wig over it. She lined her eyes with a dark cat-eye, her lips shiny with the drying liquid-lipstick that promised not to rub off, even with kissing—or other activities. It would probably be too cold for the costume she found, but alcohol would hopefully help numb the chill.

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