Page 58 of Playing For Keeps

“You’re the one that’s amazing,” Sebastian said, pressing a kiss against her temple. “Now, are you ready to make your dream a reality?”

He walked over and pulled the chair out behind the display set, palm out for Farren to step up and settle into her place as the game designer. Corinne walked over to Luis to give them some privacy.

“If I say no, will it make a difference?” she whispered.

“If that’s really what you want, we can pack up right now. But I think you owe it to yourself to at least try. Even just once.”

“I’m scared.” Farren looked up at him, naked vulnerability on her face.

“I know, sweetheart.” Sebastian kissed her forehead wanting nothing more than to comfort her.

But he understood. Going after what you wanted… what you thought you’d never get… what you’d convinced yourself wasn’t for you. It was terrifying.

“What if it doesn’t work out?” Her voice was small, the words wavering.

“But what if it does? Are you willing to take that chance, to miss out on something wonderful because you’re afraid?” Sebastian felt the words come from deep inside, meaning very different to him after losing her.

“No.” It was soft. Followed by a much firmer, “No. I’m not.”

Sebastian’s smile was so large, he could feel the joy bubble up inside his chest. Farren answered with one of her own, dazzling. They both had a long way to go, and it wouldn’t necessarily be easy figuring out where to go next, but there was only one thing left for them to do now before they rolled the dice on another chance together.

“Then let’s play.”

The twists in Farren’s stomach pulled tauter when the first child walked in, unease growing as they got closer to the posted time, and increasingly more kids filed into the room. Chairs were grouped around tables, different from the classrooms and similar, all at once. Only this time, it wasn’t a particular grade or school.

“Welcome to the first of the Summer Sessions here at the Anacostia Neighborhood Library! I’m excited to see so many faces, and pleased to note we have some parents who’ve opted to join in on the fun. Are you all ready to get your game on?” Farren asked, excitement bursting past the nerves. She was greeted with a lukewarm chorus of yesses.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize we were at a school assembly. I said, are you all ready to get your game on?” she urged, and this time, they mustered up some more excitement.

The anxiety in her loosened, the knots falling into relief and joy. Throughout the two-hour session, she walked around tables watching kids play and getting to know their peers. Luis, Corinne, and Alison sat at one of the tables with a small group, one of the younger-aimed games spread before them. Corinne was the one to find this place. The idea arose when she’d come home from the museum and passed the library on the way.

It was silly that libraries hadn’t occurred to them right away, but it was the perfect solution, and after some talks and planning, Farren was finally kicking off her summer program. A few other libraries joined in, and it would fill Farren’s schedule while schools were closed for vacation. Today was only the first of many, and it was lovely that her friends took the time to support the endeavor. A few game club members came to help and teach games.

The parents that stuck around joined in on the fun, and it passed in such a blur, Farren barely noticed. It wasn’t until the library assistant peeked her head into the room and gave her a small smile that she realized time was up. When the group groaned in disappointment, their bubble burst, Farren’s chest swelled with pride. They enjoyed it.

They would be back, she knew. Once the bug bit, it was over.

Corinne hung around until the last few filed out of the room, the friends sharing a hug and laughing excitedly as they discussed the future of the game clubs. But Corinne took a long lunch to be here, and Luis had to get Alison back home for her own lunch, or she would turn into a very cranky little girl. Farren was rewarded with a tight hug from her favorite little whirlwind and watched as the room emptied completely.

Packing up the games was strangely relaxing. The quiet after so much nervous excitement proved a welcome respite. Farren took in the striking mural, the bookshelves tucked into one corner of the activity room, and countless others just outside in the children’s section. Posters and cutouts of riotous color filled the space with brightness, the perfect environment to encourage learning through play.

Her phone buzzed with a message, and she knew it was Sebastian before she checked.

Or thought so.

An email came through—one she needed to open with him.

The nerves returned in full force bordering on nausea, and the ride home was a blur. Her game bag felt weightless in her grip compared to her apprehension. The packed Metro chugged along, a much further commute from Anacostia to Alexandria than her old walk from the board game cafe to her apartment. The journey through Old Town didn’t calm her the way it usually did, and the white townhouse with the black shutters was a blip on her radar.

There was no neighbor on the stoop, no stairs to trek up, just their Tuscan Sun rose bush in full bloom, striking against the siding. She twisted her key into the lock on the front door, and when she pushed her way into the entryway, their mail was in a little pile on the floor, the brass slot on the front door serving its intended purpose.

“Babe?” Farren called out, dropping her game bag by the door and swooping down to collect the white envelopes off the wood floor.

“Sebastian?” she tried again, a little louder this time, kicking her shoes off and padding barefoot to where she assumed he was. Cool air from the vents hissed up from the floor, blissfully chilling after the cramped Metro, fluttering her sun dress around her knees.

His office door was ajar, the faint pulse of music from his headphones explaining why he hadn’t heard her call out for him. Farren was careful to have her touch be soft when she placed her hands on his shoulders, not to startle him, but he jumped a little nonetheless, both of them dissolving into giggles at his gasp. He dropped the headphones onto his desk and turned in his chair to face her.

“How was it?” he asked, his smile coming so easy these days, that dimple peeking through the light stubble he had going.

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