Page 8 of Sweet T

“It’ll break your daddy’s heart to see you go. I was hoping your moving into the guest house would satisfy any inevitable urges for independence, that maybe you would stay here forever.” Pedro smiled. “I know—foolish parental notions. I’m not big on change, you know that. Ever since I met your father, I’ve felt at home here, safe. I have all I need... my business, him, and you. Your father’s a little different in that regard, always seeking ways to make things better, starting new businesses. Even now, as mayor, he’s always looking for new enterprise for Spoon, ways of growing the town into something better.”

Tucker chuckled. “That wouldn’t take much.”

“Is it the town you’ve outgrown?”

“No. I love it here. I can’t imagine leaving.”

“Is it us?”

“No. P, you know I love y’all. You’re my daddy as much as he is. Maybe more so. It’s just–I’m never gonna be Javy. I don’t have it in me. I’m not smart. I was never much for sports. Javy’s good at whatever he does. Hell, I can barely run the business I got. I don’t know what I’ll do when Shelly leaves–which is gonna happen. It’s just a matter of time.”

“Shelly has big aspirations. She’ll do well too, I’m sure. Maybe better than Javy.”

“No one does better than Javy.” Tucker spoke the words, trying his best to remove any trace of envy.

“You’re right about a lot of things, T. Javy is very ambitious. But just because he got a football scholarship and then went into a master’s program overseas... that doesn’t make you any less by comparison. In my eyes, you have equally as many gifts.”

Tucker grinned. “I think that’s something you’re supposed to say, isn’t it?”

“Maybe, but I mean it. Stop beating yourself up. Good things are in store for you. Be patient. And don’t give up on your father. He’s a good man, T. Just because he’s wrapped up in Javy’s big adventure, doesn’t mean he’s forgotten you. He’ll come around.”

They were quiet for a while, eyes on the water. After a moment, Tucker broke the silence. “Can I ask you something personal?”

“Of course. Anything.”

“Do you like Javy? Sometimes, it feels to me like the same things going through my head are going through yours.”

Pedro didn’t answer right away. When he did, it was not the monosyllabic yes or no that Tucker had expected. “He was my cousin’s child,” he said. “I love him for that. He’s been with us, what, ten years now? Seems less because he’s been away at school.”

“Ten years, three months, and a handful of days,” Tucker said.

“You’ve been keeping track better than me.”

Tucker looked at Pedro, eyes moist. “Because it was the day I lost Daddy.”

Pedro reached out, pulling Tucker into a strong, comforting, and familiar embrace. “Sweetie, no. Don’t ever think that. I love Javy because he’s family, my only remaining tie to Mexico. But you–you’re my son. When I came here, you were grieving for a mother you barely knew. You were the sweetest child, with so much love to give. I fell in love with your father and you. It was always a package deal.”

Tucker wiped at his eyes, chuckling. “Are you sure I wasn’t just an anchor that came with the ship?”

“Your father called you Sweet T then, and that’s what you still are to me, my Sweet T. Filled with so much love to give and hungry for it too. Like you are right now.”

“Now, you sound like Shelly.”

“She’s not wrong. But you are... about one thing. This small rift between you and Titus–and it is small, though it may seem larger to you. It has nothing to do with the differences between you two. It’s because you’re so much alike.”

Tucker stared at Pedro, dumbstruck. He shook his head. “No. Not at all.”

“That’s one attribute you share right there. Stubbornness.”

Tucker opened his mouth in defense, then closed it, realizing he would just be reinforcing Pedro’s accusation.

“You both are enormous vessels,” Pedro continued. “Not just physically, but emotionally. When I met your father, he had been reclusive for years–a young, widowed, closeted father. He was brimming with love and his only outlet was you, a little baby. It’s a wonder he didn’t scare me away, because when we met he was practically exploding with untapped emotion. But I was a vessel too, intentionally empty, obsessed with making a better life in America for me and your Nana P. I thought I could turn my emotions off until I achieved my goal. But your father intervened. And when I gave in, opening up to all he wanted to share with me, I realized we can’t control these things. No matter what you believe in—a divine power, biology, astrology, whatever. When love takes over, all you can do is hang on and trust that other things will work out. They did, for me anyway. I’d like to think it’s that way for everyone, that cosmically, perhaps karmically, it’s inevitable.”

“I don’t understand what it’s got to do with me and Daddy being alike.”

“Because you are that younger version of your father twenty years ago. You’re filled with love, spilling with it. An outlet is what you need. You’ve got your family, but you feel you’ve already lost Titus and that your best friend is next.”

“So, you’re saying all I need is a boyfriend to make my troubles go away?”

---