Page 115 of Love Marks

“Did you explain to her about George and the folder?”

“No. I tried to. She wouldn’t listen.”

It’s quiet. From my office, I think I can vaguely hear Luna playing with the chess pieces. Ben leans forward on his knees.

“Well, bro, I think you need to try a little harder. You need to sober up, shower, and go see her mom. Make sure everything is okay. Then talk to her. Explain again and do a better job this time.”

I exhale, my voice shaking. “It’s not that easy.”

“Never said it would be.”

“You don’t get it. I’ve fucked it up. She was the best thing in my life. The only good thing in my life, and I ruined it. Like I ruin everything.”

Ben doesn’t let me wallow. He quirks an eyebrow, his expression still playful. “Only good thing, huh?” He rolls his eyes and calls out to his daughter. “Luna! Come in here!”

Luna runs into the room, a wild smile on her face. She bounds towards us and launches herself onto the couch between us, cuddling close to Ben.

“I have a question and if you answer, there may be chocolate in it for you,” Ben says and Luna’s face lights up like a Christmas tree. “What’s your favorite thing about your Uncle Wes?”

“Ben—” I start to protest.

He shoots me daggers. “I believe I asked Luna, not you. Didn’t I?”

Luna nods eagerly. “It’s my question, Uncle Wes. You can’t have it.”

I huff out a sigh, feeling like an absolute child, and wanting them both out of my apartment. Now. As if things can’t get any worse, Luna reaches her small hand towards me, her face thoughtful.

“I can’t pick one. Is that okay?” She looks at Ben like she’s worried she won’t get it right, but she keeps going. “I like that he always gives me presents and takes me to get pancakes. He’s really funny and tall. He won me Mr. Thomas at the carnival. He picks me up from school and has nice friends. He’s my favorite uncle.”

My heart aches. I have to look away from her at the swell of emotion growing inside me. I can’t handle this. Anything but that. Anything but that…innocent adoration.

Ben gives Luna a tiny high-five. “Good job, Luna. That was a perfect answer,” he whispers.

“Candy, please,” she demands. He slips a mini-Hershey’s bar out of his pocket and gives it to her. A wide smile spreads across her face. “You can go back to playing,” Ben says, and Luna skips away from us, not a care in the world.

It’s quiet again and Ben turns to me, studying my face. He knows all my fucking weak spots, Luna being the main one. He knows how much I love the little weirdo.

“Sounds to me like you’ve still got one good thing, at the very least.”

I say nothing, keeping my gaze trained on the floor, refusing to look at him. He doesn’t let it go. He stands up and holds his hand out, as if waiting for me to take it. Waiting for me to get up.

Reluctantly, I press my hand into his and he tugs me to a standing position. He pats my shoulder with his hand.

“Now, you gonna get her back, or what?”

Chapter 43

Quinn

I am so cold. Ever since I left Wesley standing on my front stoop, no matter what I do, I can’t get warm. Even now, days later, sitting by my mother’s hospital bed, I feel a shiver traveling down my spine.

He looked so…defeated. I wasn’t prepared to see him. Not after the horrible day I’d had, feeling so exhausted and broken. All I wanted was to launch myself into his arms, for him to hold me and tell me that everything was going to be okay.

Instead, I told him to leave. Told him that we were over. I want to cry now thinking of it, remembering the shock and disbelief that colored his features, the way they changed, fading into a plain, raw pain.

Part of me wishes he were here, fighting for me. It was almost too easy for him to accept that we were done. He didn’t say anything, or maybe I hadn’t given him the chance to. Either way, I haven’t heard from him since that day, and I can’t really blame him. All he did was follow my instructions.

Another wave of cold blankets me. Even the warmth of my mother’s hand in mine can’t seem to push this feeling down. I squeeze it, hoping she will wake up soon. She fell asleep a few hours ago after we talked to the doctor. The surgery was successful in stopping her internal bleeding, but they still need to deal with the spread of the cancer and keep monitoring her liver.

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