Page 118 of Love Marks

“Quinn—”

I squeeze my hands together. “Please, please, if you care about me at all, just go.” My voice cracks at the end and I can’t bear to look at him a second longer, but whatever he saw in my eyes must have convinced him.

Because he doesn’t say anything else. He stands there in front of me, as beautiful as the first time I saw him, and I can see, clear as day, that his heart is breaking with mine. His chest rises and falls, and he clenches his jaw, anger radiating from him.

I open my mouth to speak, to offer some comfort even though this is my fault. All my fault.

Worthless.

Derek is here. Of course he’s here.

My voice cracks out, but I’m too late. “Wes—”

He blinks, and suddenly, it’s gone. The heartbreak, the pain that was just so plain in his expression has disappeared, leaving his expressionless mask looking down at me. A face I haven’t seen on him in months. I realize with a pang that I’ve taken his openness for granted. These past few months with me, he’s let me in, and now, being on the other side of that cold, hard mask feels like a punch to the gut.

He turns on his heel and does exactly as I asked. He leaves, and when he finally does, I stumble backwards against the wall of the hospital and let myself crumble into a thousand pieces.

Chapter 44

Quinn

The cold has settled deep into my bones. I hardly notice it anymore, the dull throb of pain that accompanies me everywhere I go. It’s become a companion of sorts, something I can rely on when all else fails. If I have nothing else, I have the cold.

Wes has visited my mother twice since that day. I know because he brought flowers both times and my mom has innocently pointed them out, her eyebrows raised at me. It was her way of saying: what the hell are you doing?

My mom was discharged yesterday, but the good news stops there. Her most recent scans show that she needs another surgery, one that we’ve scheduled for two weeks from now. As much as I hate to admit it, I owe Wesley more than I can fathom for paying for my mom’s medical bills. We checked out with another whopping bill for her brief stay, but with our current balance at zero, it could certainly be worse. Her next surgery will be expensive, but Joe has promised that he’s got a solution, one that doesn’t involve Wesley.

Which is why I’m currently standing next to my mom at City Hall as she signs marriage papers to Joe.

At first, I was totally against the idea. I never imagined my mom would get married again. My mom was even more surprised than me. Then, of course, she was livid. “This is how you propose to me, Joseph? No ring, no romantic gesture?” She’d screeched when he took her hand in the taxi ride back to our apartment and flat out told her that they should get married.

Luckily for Joe, he’s more than proven his love and devotion for my mom in the past few weeks. He’s been by her side just as much as I have, if not more. You’d have to be a fool not to see the love between them.

So, when my mom stormed up the stairs to our apartment (even though she isn’t supposed to be on her feet unsupported) and flung herself onto the couch in anger, I crept to my room where I listened to Joe’s real proposal through the door. While he admitted he thought of it so that she could be on his health insurance, he also swore that he knew from the moment he saw her that he wanted to be with her forever.

I wanted to keep listening, to cherish this moment with them, but it hurt too much. Hearing the joy in his words and remembering the stricken look on Wesley’s face…I hated the jealousy and pain that rose up in me.

But now, as Joe slips a ring onto my mom’s hand and they make out like horny teenagers, I can’t seem to find the cold. I try to muster as much enthusiasm for my mom when she turns to me with a wide, amazing smile.

“I’m married! Can you believe it?”

I force my best smile. “I’m so happy for you guys.”

Joe bristles and nudges my mom. “The real wedding will be later this year, after the surgery, when you’re better.” There’s not an ounce of doubt in his words and a twinge of sorrow sparks in my chest.

I’m on a ‘break’ from work. I explained my mom’s situation to Rita and basically begged for two weeks off to take care of her. She agreed, but it’s unpaid. It’s for the best. I can take care of my mom and find a new job, one where I won’t run into Wesley.

My mom giggles and wraps her arms around Joe, murmuring something into his lips. It’s so intimate, I have to look away. We walk down the steps to the sidewalk when I decide I can’t spend another minute in the presence of this love fest.

“I’m gonna go. I’ll see you guys tonight? At the apartment?”

My mom’s smile falters, and I feel a pang of guilt. “Actually, we thought we’d start moving my stuff slowly to Joe’s with his truck. Do you want to help?”

Right. Another change. My mom is moving to Joe’s house in Long Island. She begged me to move with them, but I refused. As much as it breaks my heart to think of us leaving our place, the only home I’ve ever known, I can’t hold her back from her future.

Still, that apartment is home. It’s the place I’ve spent my whole life. It’s the only thing that is truly ours. I can already feel everything slipping away. The only thing left at the end of it all is me. Alone.

I swallow the lump in my throat, blinking back tears that always seem at-the-ready these days. “I forgot.” It’s a lie, and she knows it. “I just need a few hours. I’ll come later.”

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