Page 119 of Mila: The Godfather

I find myself wishing I could stop time whenever I’m with you.

First Time Nerves

MILA

“I didn’t believe in magic until I stared into her eyes.” – R

I’m not completely out of touch with interactions between a man and a woman.

I read about it too.

The wedding night.

Some are sweet, some are downright dirty, while some are awkward.

This could go either way, but I’m leaning toward awkward.

That’s why as soon as we entered the large suite with a huge bed in the middle of it, my nerves got the best of me, and I blurted out a fact. One that has my face turning red and wanting to hide under the covers in embarrassment. “Newlyweds are expected to consummate their marriage on a white cloth, as eager family members wait close by. Did you know that?” And because I just can’t control my mouth, I make it worse. “As soon as the deed is done, the sheets are handed over for inspection. If suitably blood-stained, ecstatic family members will take it on a tour to display it to other family members.”

My embarrassment intensifies when a moment of silence – a long one passes between us.

Turning away from Riagan, I look everywhere in search of an exit, but there’s none besides the main door which Riagan is blocking.

Ah, darn it.

This is why some people think of me as weird.

Not my new husband, though.

He proves it in the next instant. “Virginity testing occurs in many cultures, yes. It’s a common tradition. Archaic but common.” I feel my soul return to my body when he finally speaks up. Still, I don’t turn, too embarrassed of what he must be thinking right now. “Mila, please look at me.”

Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves. This is Riagan. He hasn’t forced me to do anything I don’t want. Not once.

But do I want to? That is the question.

I’ve never felt sexual attraction before. At one point, I thought I might be asexual since I did find men attractive before, but not enough to fantasize about them or wish to be bedded by them.

Until him.

I guess it was not a me problem, but a Riagan missing from my life problem.

Turning, I come face to face with his hard chest. He looked so handsome as he waited for me in the gazebo, wearing black dress pants and a matching button-down silk shirt with his sleeves rolled up, revealing all those intricate tattoos.

But what made him look even more handsome was the subtle smile that hadn’t left his face all day.

Feeling his gentle fingers on my chin, Riagan tilts my face up to look at him. I find those big blue eyes looking down at me with the same gentleness as every time before. Always gentle, never harsh, but too intense. “There’s no need to be nervous. Us?” He motions between us. “We are not conventional, would you agree? I won’t do anything that you don’t want. Ever.” He promises. “You know this, right?”

Smiling, I answer him. “I know.”

And I do.

I love facts.

I also enjoy collecting data.

And so far, he has given me zero reasons to doubt him.

“Besides, that shit doesn’t fly with this family.” He mumbles, and I find myself looking at his stubbled cheek, no longer embarrassed. He does that to me.

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