Page 113 of Dare To Break

I flip open my book as I walk to the front of the class and lean against Mr. Bellamy’s desk facing everyone. My gaze roams the room. Kellan is smirking. Jace and Evan are leaning close together laughing, not paying me any attention. Linda has her head propped on her chin and is looking right at me, a suggestive smile teasing her lips. I shift my attention from her to the blonde head next to her. Arabella’s eyes are wide, bottom lip caught between her teeth, and she stares at me. Something sparks between us. An awareness. A heat that I can almost touch.

I smile, my eyes holding hers as I lift the book. I don’t even need to look down at it. I have the words memorized.

“What does it feel like to be loved? To have someone who cares? Someone who notices when you’re happy or sad? How does it feel to know someone is there when you need to talk?

“Does it feel like the warmth of the sun as it kisses your skin, only to leave you cold when it hides behind a cloud? Or is it like the heat from the shower? Maybe it’s like fire, burning you. Does that kind of love scar you for life?

“In my dreams, I am loved. I am held and adored. The heat of that love surrounds me like the sun, like hot water, like fire. But when I wake, I’m cold, ignored, alone.”

My smile broadens when I see recognition flash across her features. I make a show of flipping the page, but don’t break eye contact with her.

“In my dreams, I hunger. A terrible hunger that I thought could never be sated. Until him. Until he found me. He feeds that hunger and yet he makes it worse. Makes it harder to ignore. He makes me want to be bad. To break the chains that I’ve wrapped myself in.

“I want to be good. But, oh, I long to be bad. If anyone knew. If anyone suspected—”

“Stop!” She slams her hands to her desk and jumps to her feet.

“Ms. Gray, sit down.” The teacher’s words come from behind me, but I pay him no attention, staring straight at Arabella as I continue to read.

“If anyone suspects how much I need what he gives to me. How much his whispered words of praise heat my skin—”

Face flushed, she dashes to the front of the class and snatches the book, her diary, out of my hands.

“Where did you get this?” Her voice is sharp, but her eyes are wet and full of fear.

I shrug.

“I hate you!”

I laugh. “Not yet, you don’t. But you will, Princess. I promise you that.”

Chapter 73

Arabella

“Hey, Arabella. Has Miles made you do anything bad lately?” Evan snickers across the breakfast table, wiggling his eyebrows. “Did he feed your hunger?”

Garrett laughs. “Did he give you something to suck on before he left to go home last night?”

Laughter erupts around us, rippling through the cafeteria.

Burying my face in my hands, the warmth from my cheeks scorches my palms. “Oh, my god. Please stop.”

It’s been a week since Eli read the passages out of my new diary. The depths of my humiliation have sunk into new and tortured levels. I still don’t know how he got it.

Eli Travers is more than a monster.

He’s turned into my waking nightmare.

Not only has he pawed through pages sacred to me, but he’s also seen a part of me that I’ve revealed to no one. My vulnerable side. My pain. The hopes and the darkness. I’m lucky it wasn’t my original diary. At least that’s safe back at the house. Still, this desecration of something important to me hurts.

All he’s been doing lately is going out of his way to torment me. First, reading my innermost thoughts out to the entire class and making me look like a psycho in front of Mr. Bellamy. Then stalking me across the campus the last few days and cornering me at every opportunity to sling barbs my way. Miles has been trying to direct his attacks, but he hasn’t helped by bragging that he’s the guy in my diary. All he’s done is fuel the other jocks into teasing me. He’s transformed from the perfect pretend boyfriend to the worst. I’m relieved he’s gone off-site to meet his boyfriend.

Maybe I should just tell him I don’t want to fake date anymore?

Lacy drops into the chair beside me, cutting my thoughts short. “What are you wearing for the Halloween party next Saturday?”

“I haven’t really given it much thought.” I lower my hands from my face.

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