Page 118 of Mine to Worship

“Is it me, or is this awkward?”

We both laugh and it eases the tension a bit.

“I should begin since I’m the one who asked for this chat. I don’t even know why I am doing this or where to start. I thought it would be easier, but… ”

She sighs and her face drops, her hands falling on her lap.

“I know, Melanie. He is so damn easy to love, and he doesn’t even realize it, or wants to. And I am sorry because it must hurt like hell. It would have killed me if the roles were reversed. So, what I’m trying to say is, you are a one-of-a-kind of woman for doing this, and it’s okay if you curse me out and leave.”

She tilts her head, and a pensive look crosses her face. “You’ve changed. I remember the first time we interacted; you were…”

I gesture at her and say, “You look like a model, and you were at his side for so many years. You intimidated me by just breathing my way.”

A small smile parts her lips. “Kian was the only one who didn’t give a damn about my looks. He fired someone for making an inappropriate joke. All my life, I tried to rise above my appearance. It’s just biology. I didn’t do anything to earn my looks. I was born with them and in a world dominated by men, it has proved to be a disadvantage. I have had to work twice as hard.”

Her voice breaks, and she adds. “I met Kian when I was working as an assistant for Walter. I was young, ambitious, and determined. He walked through the door carrying a duffel bag, and everyone halted, then tried to stop the guy with the rough appearance from getting into the elevator. I was intrigued. He slid his glasses up and his intense eyes fell on me, and I forgot for a moment I had to stop him. Imagine my surprise when he looked at me like he was bored. That never happened to me. I ranted and demanded to know who he was and what he wanted. He seemed to know everything about the place, including the code to Walter’s office. When we got there, he threw the bag on the floor and said, “Here is the money. I want my painting, old man.” Melanie’s impression of Kian makes us both laugh. With an amused smile on her flawless face, she continues her story. “I gasped, and Walter smiled relieved, welcoming Kian back. He introduced me to him and said we’d be working together.”

“Oh, I bet he didn’t like that,” I interject.

She shakes her head. “He hated it, he said to Walter he works for no one and Walter replied he’d work for himself. There was this challenge in their voice, love, but also something holding them back.”

I nod, having seen first-hand what she means about the two men.

“We were both twenty-three years old, but that didn’t stop us from running the company without fear. On the contrary, after one year, we were sure we were headed for success. I fell in love with him long before I realized it and I couldn’t take it back, even after I noticed his lack of interest for anything longer than one night. But my success with the company drove me further. It was me who instigated whatever happened between us, but hope is a ruin wrapped in heartbreak. I can still hear his words ringing in my head, though I never wanted to accept them.

“He said, ‘You’re not someone I want to discard, nor do I wish to. I need your brains, not your body. If it’s sex I want, I can get that walking down the street. We are at the beginning of something big, and I won’t back down until my name is on both coasts of this country. So, think about if this is what you really want.’”

A few tears roll down her cheeks. I offer her a tissue from my small bag and she thanks me.

“I might have loved him, but it didn’t stop me from seeking what he couldn’t offer me. We have been a great team in business, friends, even lovers, but it took me years to realize I was high on my name plastered in magazines, my role as the vice-president of his hotel chain. We broke up months before you came into the picture. I thought that would kick him into giving me more. Instead, he reminded me of our deal, and I hated him and myself more for even wanting him afterwards. That night...”

She doesn’t have to say which night. It was the start of a frenzy neither of us were equipped to face, and still couldn’t turn away from.

“When you two looked at each other, I knew right there and then he could give to you what he couldn’t give me. I felt it. In that second, everything shifted for me. I told myself it was nothing, that you were an itch he had to scratch and then he would be mine again. I regret I let my unfulfilled wishes cloud my judgement and became someone I couldn’t look in the mirror anymore.

“It wasn’t my intention to hurt you,” I whisper.

Melanie offers a small nod.

“It just happened. The heart doesn’t know any common-sense, and you owe me nothing. It took me months to accept that if he had loved me, if he had been mine, he wouldn’t have spared you a second glance. All those years, he would have made me promises and kept them. But he never did.

“All this time, he remained honest, it was my love for him that created the delusion that we’d end up together. I hated you and wanted you gone because I couldn’t stand the weakness inside of me. But what hurt the most was I lost respect for myself, and his friendship. You made him more forgiving while I fed his dark side.

“I gave him some documents today. He looked at them, mostly out of obligation. But that voracious hunger to make Richard pay wasn’t there. You are a better influence on Kian than I ever was. I guess you and the baby are good incentives.”

She eyes my belly with fondness.

“I always wanted to see him happy,” I say.

“You make him happy, I can tell.”

Silence descends around us, and the waterfall captures my attention, its constant flow pulling my attention to the center of this place. Islands sprouting everywhere connected by bridges, gravel, and stepping stones. Dusted stones, lanterns, and various maples, every single one picked to increase the tranquility and harmony of this place.

“Congratulations,” I say, remembering I am not alone.

“Oh, thank you. It’s time I embark on my journey and put all I know at use. I am well equipped to build and lead a hotel.” Enthusiasm shines in her eyes, a bright smile appearing on her lips.

“Kian believes in you,” I confess.

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