Page 119 of Mine to Worship

“I don’t plan to disappoint myself or him.”

“He loved you, Melanie. In his own way.”

“I know, but I wanted the type of love he couldn’t offer me, the type you two have. And even though it still hurts, I am happy it’s you. He deserves someone like you who wants him for himself and not his money.”

“I love him.”

“Of course you do, how could you not? And he loves you, because this baby is the biggest proof of how desperate he may have been to keep you. I know you both wanted the baby.”

I don’t disagree with her. There’s no reason to lie and say it just happened. Babies don’t just happen when you know about the consequences of unprotected sex.

“I am sorry about what you saw that night. Nothing happened. I manipulated him, and not even then did I have him. I played with his insecurities and your friendship with Brandon. He said nothing was worth losing you. He was hurting so much. It was like I could hear his heart cracking as I showed him the fake evidence of you with his brother. And I didn’t care. I am not proud of myself for that, but for what it’s worth, I am sorry.” Her face falls and I place a hand on her arm.

“We do crazy things for love.”

“You’re a good woman, a talented artist, and you have a man that would do anything just for your smile.”

“I am lucky, but it’s also the choices we make that lead us where we are. I was never the girl who dreamt of boys and marriage. It was always about the canvas and art galleries. When I met Kian, I was also broken in a way by my former manager. I guess love doesn’t happen arbitrarily, it’s as if the brokenness of one molds to the other.”

“He’ll make him pay.”

I have no doubts. I could have not fallen in love and started a family with a better man. He makes me so proud of him, I feel like my heart might explode. It’s not his own suffering that pushes him but that of others. No one appointed Kian the jury, still he serves justice where the system has failed.

“I should go,” she says and I realize I have to tell her this, because if we both need closure, I have to confess.

“Thank you for showing him love and strength. He wouldn’t be the man he is today without you.”

“Yes, I made a place for him to love someone else. It’s kind of fucked up.”

We break into laughter, the kind tinged with sadness.

“Go rock the entrepreneurial world.”

“If you keep up your high-ranked paintings, I will buy some for my hotels.”

I offer her a smile and a silent understanding passes between us.

“Love him hard, Ellia.”

“I do,” I say, my voice filled with conviction.

She isn’t a threat anymore, and she never was. Melanie was the woman before me.

My phone rings and I pluck it from my small bag and Kian’s name flashes on the screen.

“May I join you, angel?”

“You may and you may bring me something to eat, too,” I add and deep, rich laughter echoes in my ear, while thousands of butterflies take off in my stomach.

I lean on my palms and he’s walking toward me, carrying a brown bag and a bottle of fresh orange juice.

He takes a seat next to me and puts the juice down between us.

“You’re the best,” I say and mean it as I dig into the sandwich he just handed me.

His eyes seek mine, questioning.

“We talked. I am sure you followed me on the cameras.”

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