Page 31 of Mine to Worship

“He babysits her through her drinking herself into a stupor, partying until she falls asleep at the table. She wants your forgiveness. This is her punishing herself. He couldn’t see her like that anymore and took the first plane to New York. Plus, his cell is off.”

“Goddamnit.”

“What she did was wrong, but you’ll never forgive yourself if she…”

“It’s more than that.”

She cost me Ellia. Fuck.

“I am here, man.”

“Thanks. I appreciate it.”

I end the call and flashes of all the times Melanie stood by my side, as my right hand, pop in my mind, one after the other like mushrooms after a fit of rain. I can’t turn my back on her.

I pick up my keys and drive to Melanie’s apartment.

The concierge lets me in, and Kendrick is out the moment I step inside. Melanie lies on the couch, eyes on the ceiling, her hands crossed over her chest.

“You came,” she says in a wretched tone.

I grab a bottle of whiskey from the bar.

She sits up, combing her blonde hair with her fingers, and says, “What happened?”

“I lost her,” I admit and tip the bottle to my throat.

Her face transforms with sympathy and the old friend emerges.

“You love her.”

“Now you see it.”

“Now, I am ready to accept it.”

I point the bottle at her.

“Stop hurting yourself. This is not you.”

She scoots up and her back slouches on the couch.

“You betrayed me,” I say.

Her eyes find mine, flickering with silent reproach.

“I can’t take it back, but you hurt me, too. Yes, we had an arrangement, and we were over, but we weren’t over for me. And my stupid plan backfired, not imagining you’d fall in love.”

“It was never my plan to hurt you or to fall in love.” The concept of love has been so foreign to me, I had never taken it into consideration until Ellia appeared. I would have bet my all I’d never fall in love and lost. No wonder I couldn’t appreciate Ellia when I had no idea what love even was. I raise the bottle again and gulp the whiskey down. “I am going to be a father.”

Melanie’s mouth forms a surprised O and she offers a genuine smile. “You’ll be a great father.”

I snort. “I doubt that.”

“Give yourself a break. You got a rough start in life, but it made you who you are today.”

“And what am I?” I ask, my doubts reaching a new torturous height.

“A good man—loyal, driven. You will love and protect that baby. You have one more fight to win against your demons. And I hope you will knock them the fuck out, finally.”

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