Page 35 of Mine to Worship

He purses his lips and offers a tight nod.

“Even though it is complicated between us, I need him in my life.”

“Why?” he asks, and drops onto the swing on the porch.

“I love him,” I say, and it comes out as if the three words were already at the tip of my tongue.

“I see.” His eyes seek mine and stay as if to assure himself I am telling the truth. He sighs and looks ahead. “I thought...” Color rushes to his cheeks and he shakes his head. “Forget it.” He pushes himself up and rocks on his feet. “I’ll see you tomorrow for a check up,” he says and walks away.

I turn around and bump into Kian’s chest, his heady smell tantalizing my senses. I lift my gaze and the greens in his eyes burn as they follow Austin’s departure.

“Why are you already awake?”

“Your aunt called and invited us to dinner.”

“Oh, okay.” I’m barely containing the longing inside me, the need for him.

I walk to the kitchen and peel an orange. The pleased smile on his face makes me weak in the knees.

“I feel better today,” I share with him.

“Good.”

My cheeks heat as his eyes follow every piece of fruit I lift to my lips, unraveling me. It’s the sweetest torture to be under his intense gaze. After I finish, my stomach growls, and I burst into laughter.

He rounds the table and his palm finds my belly.

“Hungry, little one?” His voice cracks with love and softness.

Tears poke at my eyes and I close them. “I am sorry for being this emotional.”

“There is nothing to forgive. You have no choice. I got you pregnant.”

He takes the entire responsibility on himself, as if I weren’t there too. Wanting everything from him, with him.

I open my eyes and whisper, “I was there, too.”

No, Ellia. Tell him what you really think and feel. Do it, coward. He’s here, it’s your turn.

“I should have known better.”

I fight tears while he prepares me a sandwich.

I nibble at it, and once I’m done, he stands up and comes back with a folder. He gives me some papers, and when I read divorce and our names, everything halts. The rustling of the papers in my trembling fingers dims the sound of my heart cracking.

“You want a divorce?” I ask breathlessly. It’s hard to breathe when my body is busy keeping blood pumping in my chest.

Kian’s lips turn up into a reassuring smile, as if he’s proud of himself. “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”

I blink at him, while a nightmare unfolds in front of me in slow motion. I focus on his eyes, hoping they will tell of a different story, that he can’t be okay with that.

“How? I thought this was for life.” I want to hear how desperate he is to get rid of me.

“The Reyeses don’t divorce because they would be dishonored, and they would lose every cent to their name.”

I gasp, so he’s that desperate to get rid of me.

“I have never been after money. I can start from scratch.”

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