Page 4 of Link with Me

As she drove to the restaurant, Lena couldn’t help but rehearse one of her escape lines: “Oops, looks like I need to return some library books...immediately.”

She gulped. The thought of trying to sell herself to some guy made her want to throw up. Why was dating so hard? If nothing else, she could use the story for her vlog, “Geek Girls Date Too.”

The restaurant chosen for the blind date was the kind that tried too hard to be trendy, complete with an Instagram-worthy wall for photos and videos and menus that boasted items like “artisanal water.”

Lena arrived first, choosing a table that offered a clear view of the door and, more importantly, a quick escape route.

While she waited, Lena couldn’t help but imagine who this “nice guy” might be. Her mother’s track record wasn’t exactly stellar. There was the conspiracy theorist who spent the entire date discussing alien invasions, and the guy who believed himself a psychic who needed to have sex with her to awaken his ability. Lena had started to think her family might be pranking her.

When the date, Kevin, finally arrived, Lena’s first impression was that he seemed...normal.

She sighed. Maybe it wasn’t too late to order a glass of wine. She didn’t really drink but maybe it would help her relax and not tune poor Kevin out. He was really…boring. With his pressed khakis and a smile that looked practiced. The date started off with the usual awkward small talk about the weather and what they did for a living. Lena found herself zoning out despite telling herself not to, her mind wandering back to her unfinished game at home.

Trying to steer the conversation toward something more interesting, Lena mentioned her love for fantasy novels. Kevin’s response was to nod politely, though it was clear he had no idea what to say. It was when Lena brought up her passion for video games that things took a turn for the worse.

“Oh, I don’t play games,” Kevin said, his tone suggesting he considered them a waste of time. “They’re childish. I prefer to spend my time on more productive hobbies.”

As Kevin detailed his five-year plan, complete with career trajectories and the optimal timeline for children, Lena’s smile was starting to cramp her face.

“...and after the second child, we’d need to start thinking about schooling. Of course, private is the only way to go,” Kevin asserted, nodding at his own words as if they were gospel.

Lena’s mind scrambled for something to say, anything that would steer the conversation away from this unsolicited future mapping. She played with the stem of her glass, searching for a lifeline. Fuck it, she might as well mess with him a little.

“You know,” Lena interjected, “I’ve always been more of a ‘go with the flow’ type of person. My sister says my spirit animal is a jellyfish—just drifting along currents. No plans.” What the hell was she saying? She couldn’t stop now, the look on Kevin’s face was priceless. If nothing else, she would get a laugh out of this date.

Kevin blinked, clearly derailed. “A jellyfish?” He seemed to be momentarily speechless which Lena counted as a win.

“Yes, a jellyfish. You know, just bobbing along the ocean waves, embracing the freedom.” She made a wavy motion with her hand, which, in her mind, looked like a jellyfish in motion.

Kevin frowned. “But jellyfish can’t steer. They’re at the mercy of the ocean. That’s no way to live.”

“Well,” Lena quipped with a smile, “I guess I like a bit of unpredictability. Plus, they glow. How cool is that?”

He didn’t seem to find it cool at all. “Unpredictability is a leading cause of stress.”

Lena bit back a laugh. “I’ll take my chances. Besides, stress can be good for you—builds character.”

Kevin didn’t laugh. Instead, he launched into a monologue on the health implications of chronic stress.

Lena glanced toward the restroom, considering the age-old dine-and-dash. But that wasn’t her style. She’d just have to wait it out and maybe get a good story to share with Tara.

When Kevin excused himself to use the restroom, Lena seized the opportunity to text her sister: “SOS. Now. Before this guy plans our future children’s names. Send help.”

Tara’s response was immediate and laden with laughing emojis: “Tell him you’re abstaining from marriage until you’re at least forty. Or that you’re an alien sent to study human courtship rituals.”

Lena couldn’t suppress a giggle. Leave it to Tara to find humor in any situation. When Kevin returned, Lena decided to employ a more realistic escape plan. Feigning a sudden headache, she apologized and made a hasty retreat, promising to call him later—fully aware she wouldn’t.

As Lena drove home, she felt a mix of relief and disappointment. Another disastrous date added to her collection. She dialed her mom and gave the pizza box next to her a longing glance.

“I heard,” her mom said, her voice filling the inside of Lena’s car.

“Okay, great. So I did my part for this month. No more blind dates, Mother.”

“Then go get laid, Lena,” her mom said without hesitation.

“What’s that got to do with anything,” she grumbled. “Getting laid doesn’t guarantee I’ll get married.”

“No, it doesn’t,” her mom sighed, “but it guarantees your stress level will decrease. You need some fun in your life. Plus, you really do need some good orgasms. They’re life-changing.”

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