Page 53 of Enemy Wolf

Chapter 19

Shiloh

I sat on Orson’s bed, replaying parts of the meeting with Howling Death over and over. Especially the part that Orson, my mate, had dropped so casually like it was nothing. I still couldn’t believe I had heard him correctly. I sat there in his room, which should have felt safe and comforting, like I was in a prison cell, trying to rationalize what I’d heard. But no excuse I came up with loosened the knot in my stomach.

And I was fucking tired of trying to excuse bad behavior.

The door opened after a few minutes, my handsome, icy-eyed wolf coming through with a warm, soft expression. “Hey, sorry about that. I just had to talk to Sawyer for a minute.”

Right. He was sorry about leaving me here alone for all of five minutes. But not betraying my trust? He didn’t even seem aware of what he’d done. Not as he closed the door behind him. Not as he sat next to me on the bed, his arms embracing my stiff body.

“You must be exhausted. You’re welcome to sleep as long as you like.” Orson kissed my temple. “Or do you want to shower first? The water pressure here is great. You can borrow some of my clothes until we can get stuff from your apartment.” Only then did he seem to notice my face and my unresponsive body language and frowned. “Shiloh, is something wrong?”

I sat quietly for a few more seconds, trying to calm the red-hot anger so that I wouldn’t scream. “Were you ever planning on telling me that you had cameras in the trees watching my bar?”

Orson’s mouth parted in surprise. Then he rubbed his jaw as if choosing his words carefully. “I had honestly forgotten about them until the meeting today,” he said quietly.

Trying to keep my cool, I pulled in a long, slow, deep breath. “When did you put them up?”

He took a long time to answer, staring at his shoes. “The morning after you told me to leave the bar.”

I nodded, somehow maintaining a calm exterior despite the anger inside me boiling hotter with every word he said. “So right after I explicitly told you that you needed to ask permission before putting cameras in my establishment, you went ahead and set them up outside because…what, you figured you found a loophole? You thought outside cameras would make it okay?”

“Fuck, Shiloh…” Orson started rubbing his forehead.

“No, don’t act like I’m the unreasonable one here. I ended up letting you install cameras inside because I thought I could trust you. But you never actually needed to do that because you’ve been watching my place all along!”

“I was going to take down the tree cameras after that,” he protested. “But then we went on the mountain trip and I just forgot. I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry I found out about them, you mean.”

“No. I mean, I’m sorry you’re upset—”

“How did you expect me to react?” My calm exterior was cracking as I got louder. “If at any point you had just ‘fessed up to watching my bar, my home, I wouldn’t be this upset right now.”

“I’m sorry, Shiloh.” Orson’s head was bent low, staring at the ground. “I fucked up. I’m really sorry.”

“You’re not, though, so quit saying that.” I stood from the bed, physically unable to sit in such close proximity to him. “You’re sorry your little secret slipped out and I’m not all just hunky dory with it. You can’t just find ways past my boundaries and expect me to take it lying down.”

“I know, and I would never do that to you. Not now.” Orson lifted his head, his eyes meeting mine with a plea for forgiveness. “I didn’t understand back then. But as I’ve gotten to know you, and started to understand people better in general, I realize what a betrayal that is. I never would have done that had I known what a violation it would be.”

Orson stood from the bed and took a few tentative steps toward me but stopped when I backed away. He swallowed, lowering his gaze again. “I want to be a mate you can trust. I would do anything for you, Shiloh. Please tell me how I can fix this.”

I shook my head, folding my arms in front of me. “You say you understand and yet you never told me that you had cameras up all along. So my original question stands. Were you ever planning on telling me? If the answer is no, then you would have continued lying to me by omission. Do you understand that?”

The werewolf remained silent, his eyes growing colder and harder with each passing second.

I didn’t want to leave. All signs pointed to Orson being my mate, and even if that weren’t a factor, I had started to fall for him. All my life I had fallen easily, too quickly. I’d been swept up by romantic gestures meant to disarm me and good sex that meant nothing. I’d brushed off so many little white lies, plans that were forgotten or canceled, and being treated like a backup plan instead of a priority. Too many times I’d put my own needs aside in the hopes I would be loved in return, eventually.

After Sawyer, I made a promise to myself that I was done with all that. From then on, I would put myself first. I would stop making excuses for shitty behavior. I would stop diminishing myself to keep these men on their comfy pedestals.

So as much as it broke my heart to head toward Orson’s door, I did so anyway.

“Where are you going?” he demanded with a snarl.

I paused with my hand on the knob. All I wanted to do was curl up in the safety of that growling chest. But it wasn’t really safe. Not when he was keeping things from me and I couldn’t trust him.

“Home,” I said. “I need some space, so please don’t come see me.”

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