Page 101 of Notorious

“Internalized … ?”

“Criticism. Judgment. Because no matter how much therapy I’ve done or how open-minded I think I am, there’s still a part of me that thinks that sex is taboo.”

“Yeah. I get it.” I sigh. “Question: What would you think about it if I were still doin’ porn? Would it piss you off?”

Kurt looks at me intently. “I’ve been able to sidestep that, since you retired before we met.”

“So I’m pushin’ ya. Not sure there’s a right or wrong answer. Just curious how you really feel.”

“I’m feeling pretty damn possessive of you, so the idea of you touching anyone else … wouldn’t make me too happy. I understand that it’s a job—that someone goes and performs, and it doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with emotions or cheating or shit like that—but I just … don’t want to share you.”

I squeeze his hand. “I don’t wanna share you, either. While I enjoy sex, I like that I have a different job now.” That reminds me of something I’ve been thinking about, and it’s the perfect opening. “I know you say I don’t need to pay you back for all the money you’ve spent on me, don’t need to keep track. But I still want to. It’s gonna take me a while to earn my keep financially, though, what with going to therapy all the time and the ranch not paying that much. So I thought of another way I could maybe even things out a bit.” I raise a playful eyebrow.

“For the record, I don’t feel like we’re uneven, but based on your expression, I’m intrigued. What are you talking about?”

CHAPTER 34

Kurt

Ashiver runs through me at the promise in Johnny’s eyes.

“What do you think about letting me take over in the bedroom?” he asks. “Be a … dom, kinda. Would you trust me to give you an escape? Time when you don’t have to think about what you need to do and who you need to do it for?”

He hasn’t even finished speaking, and my body’s already flooded with … I don’t know what kind of hormones or whatever. It’s like I can feel my blood pressure relax and my mind start to clear. “Fuck,” I say. “Yes. Please. My brain’s so full of … shit so much of the time. I love it when you tell me what to do.”

“You know I’m a stickler for consent,” he says.

“You have it. I’ll tell you if I don’t like something or don’t want to do it. But I can’t imagine you doing anything that would pass my limits.”

“Then just you wait, baby boy. I’ll rock your world. Bring that pretty cock over here and let me suck it.” Johnny tugs me to him, wrapping his arms around my waist and brushing his lips against the skin behind my ear.

He runs a hand down my side and into my pocket.

I love it when Johnny takes over. He’s so much bigger than me. It’s not that I’m little. He’s just so big. I can imagine I’m overpowered, and it’s a turn-on. He could throw me around, but he doesn’t.

Power that he chooses not to exercise. Restraint.

Him being in control.

Me not having to be.

It’s hot. Fucking hot.

I turn around and join my mouth to his, kissing him as he slides his other hand under my ass cheek, pulling me closer to him. When I part my lips, he licks into my mouth, and he tastes so good.

“Fuck,” I whisper.

He rubs his erection against mine, and I want to please him even more than I want to feel his mouth on me.

“What is it?” he asks, in tune with what I’m thinking, as usual.

“I want to suck you off.”

He chuckles, then smiles against the crook of my neck. “Oh yeah?”

“Please?”

“I’m not sure I should be lettin’ you call the shots, precious, but since you asked so nicely, maybe just this once.” He gives me his best dom look. “Be a good boy and get down on your knees.”

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