Page 105 of Notorious

He nods.

We have breakfast in the great room, Lady curled up at Johnny’s feet, and I smile at the framed photos of us he gave me for a Christmas present.

Things are looking up.

CHAPTER 35

Johnny

Not wanting to keep the good news from Mama—and since I need to see her expression in person when we tell her—Kurt and I drive up to Fresno the following morning, bringing a few late Christmas gifts with us. And Lady, of course, even though that means lots of pit stops, as well as cleaning up once when she gets carsick.

As we head up the interstate, I’m excited to see Mama, like I always am, but that doesn’t keep my own stomach from clenching as I think about the other thing I have planned for this visit. Kurt notices, like he always does, and asks me what’s wrong. He puts a warm hand on my thigh, and that helps me get my words going. “I’m troubled,” I say.

Kurt tilts his head. “You are? Why? This is what you’ve wanted—your mom could be completely healthy again soon.”

“Yeah, but …” I blow out a breath. “I have to tell her what’s going on with me.”

“You mean about your mental health issues?” Kurt asks.

I nod. “Christian said I needed to fess up to Mama. Well, she didn’t say it that way, but she said I should be honest, even if it’s hard. But … it’s gonna upset her. Disappoint her. And that’s gonna hurt, ’cause I never want to make her sad.” My throat closes up.

He gives me a little squeeze. “Babe, she loves you as much as you love her, if not more. She’ll want to know what’s really going on with you.”

“It just sucks to have to bring it up. I wanna let it be. Why ruin Christmas? Or New Year’s. The holidays.”

“There’s no law that says you have to tell her, but I think it’s a good idea. She should know. You’re not ruining a holiday by being honest.”

I know he’s right, even though thinking about making my mama cry has me wanting to turn the car around and drive in the opposite direction until we run out of road.

Mama’s happy to see us, of course, and she takes to Lady right away. My good girl somehow knows to be extra gentle with her, and soon we’re all sitting in the living room, Lady curled up on her lap, Kurt next to me. Mama looks about the same as always—frail but smiling. Trying hard. Fierce. May Ella’s fussing in the kitchen.

We’ve exchanged presents. Mama gave me a new brass belt buckle the size of Montana with running horses on it, which I love, and she gave Kurt a little book of my baby photos, which got him all melty. Kurt and I gave her a new bathrobe and slippers and May Ella sheet music.

“I can’t get over what a treat it is to see you both again so soon,” Mama says. “I hope you had a good Christmas with Kurt’s family.”

Kurt looks at me, and I nod. “We did,” he says. “It was the best Christmas I can remember, because I had him to share it with. But then yesterday we found out about one more big present—and it’s for you. My mom’s a match.”

Mama turns her head slowly between Kurt and me. “A ma— Are you serious?”

“Oh, Mama, that’s wonderful!” May Ella says, and a tear slides down her face. I reach over and hold her hand.

“You really hadn’t heard?” Kurt asks Mama. “I asked my mom not to call you and spill the beans, but she was pretty excited, so I wasn’t sure.”

Mama shakes her head. “Not a peep since the doctors contacted me to get permission to share whatever medical information. As if I could have sat here with y’all and not said, if I knew! You two boys! Between you sorting out that nonsense with the insurance company and now this, it’s … I don’t know what to say.” She dabs at her eyes with a tissue. “Come here and hug me. I am truly blessed.”

I wrap my arms around her, trying not to think about how very tiny she is, and Kurt hugs her gently, too, and then we settle back down on the couch. “It’s good to see you happy.” I smile, but it feels forced. Tell her the bad stuff, too, Johnny.

“A new kidney,” Mama whispers. “Finally. It really is a Christmas miracle.”

“We have another surprise,” Kurt says. “This one’s for you,” he tells May Ella. He digs in his pocket and then hands her a folded piece of paper. “This is Julian Hill’s phone number. Do you know who he is? He asked me to ask you to give him a call so you could play the violin for him. Maybe you can do a video call at first, and then if things work out you could take a road trip and visit him in LA. He’s writing his next album and mentioned that he wants to have violins on it, so I thought of you.”

May Ella’s eyes are wide as dinner plates, and she’s holding the piece of paper like it’s a diamond necklace. “You’re joking,” she says in a harsh whisper.

I shake my head. “No, he ain’t. He’s friends with Jules. Nice guy. Likes dogs.”

May Ella flushes. “I cannot believe we’re talking about me playing for Julian Hill. Julian Hill the pop star. Who used to be in the boy band I listened to when I was a teen.”

I tilt my head. “I told Jules I couldn’t name any of his music, but I thought you might’ve listened to it. Guess that was correct.”

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