Page 113 of Notorious

He kisses me. “Good. Then let’s get out of here.”

When we get home, I fall into Kurt’s arms, needing comfort but not wanting to admit it. This lawyer crap is hard, but going through the ups and downs of a lawsuit alone was so many times worse.

Lady sleeps at our feet, as usual, and I’m grateful to have her there. I need all the help I can get.

CHAPTER 38

Kurt

Since his failed mediation, Johnny’s been working with his lawyers to prepare for trial and throwing himself into his work out at the ranch. I think spending more time with the animals helps keep him from worrying about whether he should have settled this thing … or dwelling on how, soon, he’s going to have to get up and tell his story to a group of strangers.

As for me, I’m still trying to make up ground in time for the primary. I’ve been to every Optimist Club, Soroptimist Club, Rotary Club, Toastmasters, and Kiwanis Club meeting in the areas Paige and Johnny identified as targets. I’ve spent endless hours on the phone, asking for money and votes. I’ve extended my leave of absence from work, because there’s no way I can do all this and my regular job.

But every night, Johnny and I are together, and most nights he’s ordering me around exactly as I want him to. Some mornings, when he’s left early to go take care of the horses, I bring up the video he shot of him slow fucking me and watch it on my phone, because it’s the hottest thing I’ve ever seen. He’d sent it to me when I asked, then deleted his copy. I usually don’t let myself come while watching it, because it’s more fun to edge and edge and edge. I’d rather Johnny be the one to take me over the cliff. Now that I have him in my life, I want him more and more.

Watching the video makes me feel like he’s here even when he isn’t. When I mention this to him over dinner, he grins. “Good boy. Get yourself hard for me. I’ll do it again any time you like, you know.”

“It’s more than that,” I admit, passing him some coffee. “I’ve always wanted to film myself. Not just the impromptu sort of thing we did before, but a full video, complete with the perfunctory script and everything.”

“Now, darlin’,” Johnny says slowly. “Not to be too critical, but I think that’s the worst idea I’ve ever heard. You’re running for office, and your mama’s the lieutenant governor. Making a sex tape with a porn star ain’t a good idea.”

“I know you’re right … but I still think it would be hot,” I insist. I drop my eyes. “It’s not like I don’t have one with you already. There’s no reason it should get out—it would be just for us. I won’t share it or upload it anywhere.”

Johnny reaches across the table and lifts up my chin with his fingers, studying my face. “This matters to you, doesn’t it?”

I nod.

“Then let’s make it happen, darlin’. We’ll put passwords on it or we’ll leave it on the camera. But if we can bring your fantasy to life, let’s do it.”

“I’ll feel bad about it,” I tell him.

His shoulders stiffen. “Then, never mind.”

“No,” I say quickly. “That—that’s what I want. I want the feeling that I’m doing something I shouldn’t. Like I’m gonna get caught.” I inhale sharply. Because just thinking about it makes me shiver.

He sees, and his eyes heat up. “Then be ready. We’ll do it soon.”

“Sounds good.” I grin. “Sounds better than good.”

He tilts his head. “So, apart from your fantasy life—which, by the way, I highly approve of—how have you been doing, precious? We haven’t seen as much of each other lately, outside of nighttime.”

“I’m okay. It’s just … a lot. I mean, I’m not complaining. I know you’re dealing with a bunch of hard stuff, and I don’t?—”

“Hard stuff isn’t something we need to compete over,” he says. “My shit doesn’t make yours any easier to deal with. You’re worn out. You’ve been going a million miles a minute since before I met you—that has to be exhausting.” He thinks for a second, then says, “Come with me to work tomorrow.”

“Not sure that’s going to make my schedule any easier.”

“I get that, but you gotta find time to relax somehow. What if you come toward the end of the day? I want to show you the horses. Want to go riding?”

I smile. “I do.” I love seeing Johnny in his element. He was beautiful riding on the beach that day. I bet it’ll be even better with horses he’s gotten to know.

But I have something to do first. Something I didn’t want to rush into … but it’s time to get the ball rolling.

Charlie Cooper, Sam’s coworker, is prickly when I call him the next morning after Johnny leaves. But when I explain who I am and why I want to meet, he and his boyfriend Rowan agree to meet me at a bench over by the beach, where no one can hear our conversation.

I get there first and sit, feeling out of sorts. I’m looking forward to seeing Johnny later, but this meeting has me on edge. Two men walk up a few minutes later. The tall one, who must be Charlie, is breathtakingly handsome, with dark hair and dark eyes. He doesn’t quite have a sneer, more an RBF. It doesn’t detract from how good-looking he is.

He’s holding the hand of a tiny man with short, bright pink hair and tattoos everywhere—Rowan, based on Sam’s description. Rowan’s clearly rich (or has a sugar daddy), since he’s wearing Cartier love rings on every finger and designer everything. His smile seems a little … what did Sam say? Feral.

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