Page 32 of Notorious

I’m a grown man and don’t have to ask my parents for permission to live my life. I can do what I want.

None of that goes from my brain to my texting app. Instead, I decide to get it over with.

Kurt

If you saw a story online about me, it’s true. Yes, I got very drunk and married Johnny Haskell in Vegas. I’m driving with him now, so I can’t talk. I’ll call you when I get back home.

Momther

Oh my god, honey. Who is this man? How long have you been dating him? How come you never brought him around to meet us?

Or did you keep him secret from us because of his occupation? I like to think we’re more open-minded than that.

Although I do think Santangelo is going to use it against you.

Kurt

He will. The wedding wasn’t planned.

Momther

If it’s a mistake, you can see if you can get it annulled.

I pinch the bridge of my nose. Johnny glances over at me, then returns his focus to the road.

“My mom found out about our marriage,” I say. “Figures.”

He gives me a wary look. “How’s she taking it?”

“I’m reading it as she doesn’t know if she should be supportive or if the best thing is for her to recommend that we get an annulment.”

“We still could do that,” he says, but my stomach sinks.

“No,” I say. “I don’t think that’s the right way to go.”

“How come?”

I’m not sure if I can articulate why I don’t want an annulment, but I give it a shot. “The reason to annul a marriage is so that it’s a … well, a nullity. Like it didn’t happen. But word’s gotten out, and people know that it happened.” I wave my phone at Johnny. “So what’s the point of pretending it didn’t? I’ll look even more volatile and untrustworthy if I do that.”

“Perhaps you’ve got somethin’ there,” Johnny says.

“I think it’s better if we stay married for a while—until the election, I guess. Then after that, we can quietly get a divorce.”

My stomach aches as I say the words, and I realize that I don’t think I want a divorce. Not right away, and not after the election, either.

Also, I hate the pained look on Johnny’s face as I tell him I don’t want him in my life permanently.

He swallows. “Makes sense.”

But I have to look at this logically: My impulsive wedding to Johnny throws a big wrench into my plans. I decided to become a politician so I could do something great for society. I was going to devote myself to the cause.

Marrying Johnny was about the worst thing I could do in terms of my chances at the ballot box. And my brain starts spinning as I think about all the implications of our marriage and how they will affect the election.

I need a break from my own head.

That brain escape is part of the reason why I like my graphic design job. Even though most of the time I’m designing junk mail, I can get into the flow of fussing with kerning—the spacing between letters—or something like that, and I stop worrying about my life. Everything just falls away.

Which is how I felt last night with Johnny. All I cared about was being with him. I didn’t think about the election once, and I don’t think it was only because I was drinking.

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