Page 72 of Notorious

I get introduced to all the horses, and Bronwyn gives me a rundown of their personalities and special needs or quirks. For some reason, it’s easy for me to remember things like this—their names, their needs. While I pull out my phone to take a few notes, I know I won’t need to refer to them. Bronwyn hands me a clipboard, and I fill out some tax forms, needing to look up my address on the phone. But I get it done.

We stop by the tack room, and Bronwyn shows me where the food and other supplies are. Then she puts a lead on Betty Lou and asks me to muck out the stables while they’re gone.

Fine by me. I grab gloves, a broad shovel, and a wheelbarrow and get to work. It’s a cool day, but I work up a sweat, and … I don’t know. Being out in the fresh air and sunshine, working around these big, gorgeous animals with dogs at my side, makes me feel centered. Even though we’re not that far from the traffic of Los Angeles, it’s quiet here. It feels like a different world. One where I could actually be happy. I understand why people pay so much money to live here. It’s my idea of heaven.

The hours pass quickly, and I can look back and see what I’ve accomplished: neat stalls that are clean, with everything stocked up for later. The horses are all groomed and fed, and I feel productive in a way I ain’t felt in a really long time.

Back when I was working on a set, I could tell when we were getting footage that was going to work, and I could often predict when it’d be a video that would take off and be popular. But things didn’t always go right, and sometimes at the end of the day, I’d go home sore and not feeling like I did much.

Here, though, there’s no question about what I did, from getting the trail dust off a horse to making sure everything’s tidy and in good repair. Taking care of horses is the work that feeds my soul. I haven’t done it since my early teens, but I love it.

Kurt figured that out about me, and like a present, he gave it to me. I really like that man.

CHAPTER 24

Johnny

After a few days of working in Hidden Valley, I get into a rhythm of going there either early in the morning or very late in the evening, depending on their other staffing and my therapy schedule. When I get my first paycheck and can buy groceries, I feel capable—like I’m actually pulling my weight for once. I realize that’s barely a drop in the bucket compared to everything Kurt has spent on me, but … it’s not nothing.

One afternoon, I walk into the house after I’m done for the day feeling kinda beat. I look for Kurt, but he ain’t in the kitchen or great room. Maybe he’s at work in his home office, and I shouldn’t disturb him. I need a shower, though. I walk up the stairs into the bedroom and stop short.

Kurt’s lying on our bed with his shirt rucked up and his hand on his cock, his laptop propped next to him on the duvet.

And I recognize the soundtrack. Because it’s my voice saying to someone—have to remember who—“Bring that hard cock over here, darlin’.”

Holy crap. He’s watching my porn.

Maybe I should be weirded out, but it’s the opposite. I watch his strong hand fist his cock, his dark blue pants down around his ankles, and I get turned on like I haven’t been in a while.

Just when I know he’s getting to a good part, I clear my throat, and he freezes. “Shit, you scared me!” he hisses.

“Oh, don’t let me interrupt,” I say, raising an amused eyebrow. “This is mighty entertaining.”

He’s beet red. “I’m so fucking embarrassed. Oh my god.”

“Don’t be. This is in-person feedback on my work.” I come closer. “Keep going.”

When I see myself on the screen, I usually feel separated from it. Like, that’s Velvet. I’m just Johnny.

Right now, though, I’m taking in Kurt’s nude form and having very interesting thoughts.

We’ve fooled around a bit since I came back from the hospital, but not much. He’s a very beautiful man, though, and seeing him like this makes me wanna do more.

“What if I do what I’m doing in the video to you?” I ask slowly. Which is rather cheeky, since Kurt and I haven’t gone further than a few hand jobs and a quick blow job or two.

Kurt bites his lip, and I can tell he’s tempted but doesn’t want to say yes for some reason. Probably because I told him sometimes I’m not in the mood.

“We don’t have to,” I whisper. “But you look so sexy right now that if you’re up for it, I am.”

He’d paused the video and thrown a blanket over his lap when I first spoke. He’s still lying there, body tense. “Okay,” he says after a moment. “Please, I want to see you naked.” There’s an edge of desperation in his voice that I appreciate. I take off my shirt, and Kurt eyes me hungrily.

“I’m covered in dust,” I say. “Give me two minutes?”

He nods.

I strip hastily and speed walk into the bathroom to take the fastest shower ever. When I’m done, I return, still trying to dry myself with the towel. “Take off your own clothes,” I order, “all the way.”

He hurries to comply.

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