Page 95 of Notorious

Her words remind me of what I told Johnny about choosing to take care of him even if it might damage my campaign. And thinking about the fact that—apart from Johnny—the things I’ve been spending my time on are things I’m doing more out of a sense of duty than passion makes me realize that everything I do is about trying to take care of people.

I’ve been judging Johnny for going to extremes to care for his mother. Am I doing the same thing? Focusing my whole life on trying to make up for the person I didn’t save?

And even if that’s a valid choice, should I maybe be doing it in a way that fits my personality better than politics?

While Momther doesn’t know what’s going on inside my head, she can tell I’m putting some pieces together.

“So that’s something to think about,” she says. “Whatever you decide about the campaign, you’ll have my support. Now, back to your husband. He seems very nice. But I imagine whatever he was being treated for when you first got together isn’t the sort of issue that goes away overnight.”

“I’m not going to betray his confidence,” I say. “He’s had a tough life, and yes, he’s dealing with some challenges right now. But he’s somehow stayed soft and good despite everything.”

“Is he good for you, though?”

I don’t hesitate. “Yes. I know it seems rash, but he and I clicked from the moment we met.” I pause. “I don’t usually believe in this kind of stuff, but I think sometimes that he’s the one.”

Her eyes widen. “Oh, wow. That’s not the sort of thing I ever expected to hear from you.”

“I wouldn’t have expected it, either.”

“You do seem happy with him. Well, I’ll support you all the way if he’s the one you truly want.”

My mom’s my mom. She loves me and has always been there for me. But now she’s explicitly saying that she’s willing to risk her squeaky-clean image—and her dream of the White House—for my happiness. My heart feels like it’s crammed tight in my chest. “I know we haven’t been together long, but he is.”

When Johnny returns from the garden tour, he gives me another questioning look: Are you okay?

I smile and nod. Even with everything that’s on his mind, plus the stress of meeting my folks, he’s concerned about me. That’s how I know that what’s between us is real.

Johnny’s having dinner with his lawyers to go over some details about his case, so I go to Jules and Sam’s beach house for dinner on Tuesday. They’ve decorated for Christmas with tiny white lights everywhere and a tree hung with seashells. It looks magical.

“I have news!” Sam says. “We investigated and discovered that the utilization department for Johnny’s mom’s insurer had been doing illegal cost savings. That’s why they denied her care when they should have approved it. We brought a complaint, but because it’s such a strong case, their attorneys already contacted us to offer a settlement. She should be getting enough to pay for her care and then some.”

My jaw drops. I’d hoped for some good news, but I hadn’t dreamed it would be so simple or so fast. “That’s wonderful. I can’t wait to tell Johnny.”

Just then, my phone buzzes with a text.

Johnny

Mama’s gonna get insurance coverage! Noah just told me!

Kurt

I know, babe! Sam just told me too. Congrats!

Johnny

If only we can find a donor.

Kurt

Maybe my mother will be one.

Johnny

I hope, I hope.

Over dinner, I mention I’m questioning whether politics is the right career for me.

“Not everything that sounds good on paper proves to be what we want,” Jules says. “I’d thought a traditional record deal was the ultimate goal, but going indie and doing my own thing has been so much better than I could have imagined. You’ll find what’s right for you, too.”

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