Page 35 of No First Kisses

He’s holding my hand, leading the way toward the doors, and I let him.

“I’ll set an alarm and wake up as soon as you’re off shift, just so I don’t miss out.” Chances are, he won’t even be asleep. This is the first night we’re not spending together since I moved in.

After rubbing a hand down my stomach, resting it on our growing baby, he kisses me.

Gently at first, with his hands cupping my cheeks. Slowly, it changes, turning into more. Until I’m about to combust and pull him into the nearest bathroom.

“Now go.” He shoos me away. “Before I decide to make you sick for the day so I can take advantage of you and the chief gets pissed.” But not before he grabs my hip and squeezes tightly. “Be safe, Poppy.”

I almost wink at him and laugh it off. Almost. Then I see the look in his eyes when I turn around to say goodbye and get one more kiss. The one that says he isn’t just joking around or giving me a hard time since this is my first shift back at work. The one that clearly says he is worried about me. And when that emotion doesn’t go away, even with the fact that we are standing in the middle of a busy restaurant, I know Logan is scared.

Scared for me.

Scared for our baby.

Scared of all the things that we both know this world has in store for us.

The things that can happen.

The ones that will tear us apart and leave us nothing but broken pieces of the people that we used to be. The people that we should have been.

Immediately, I want to cry, because I feel like I’m losing him all over again.

“Hey,” I say instead of bursting into tears. “I made a promise, didn’t I?” I step forward so there isn’t any space between the two of us. “I think your exact request was that I do whatever it takes to keep me and our boy safe. I’m keeping my end, so you better give me what I want, Lo.”

For one long moment, I think Logan won’t snap out of the haze I can see he is in. The one where he replays all the worst parts of our lives over and over. I can practically feel the past coming back and biting both of us, dragging us into the pit.

He doesn’t blink. Doesn’t move.

He doesn’t hear the words I’m saying.

Since I moved into his house, he’s done this a lot. Stare into space and try to chase the demons inside away. He’s trying so hard to protect our happiness, and I can see the battle he’s fighting.

Never in public, though, and never anywhere that someone other than me knows what is happening.

Sometimes, I feel the desolation coming off him in waves. Right now, the only thing I can feel is empty. Emptiness from him is scarier than anything else.

When he still doesn’t move, doesn’t even blink… I do the only thing I can think of to keep this moment private between the two of us. To protect him.

I stand on my tiptoes, kissing his cheek because that’s the only thing I can reach around my growing stomach. “Please don’t leave me, Lo. All I want is to let you in for this second chance. Don’t push me away.”

My words, combined with the touch, does what either alone aren’t capable of.

His eyes meet mine with a fire that would have burned the world down if it weren’t contained in his body.

“Never. Never again.” He pulls me into another kiss, desperate and chaste, and then steps back. “You’re my everything.”

I walk away knowing our lives aren’t perfect, but they are a hell of a lot better than they were just a few months before.

And that’s worth fighting for.

12

LOGAN

Waking up with Poppy’s mouth around my cock throws me back into every single fantasy I’ve ever had as a teenage boy. Except, the reality of her hands on my balls and her hair touching my body as she does everything and anything she wants to, is more than I’ve ever imagined.

“You fell asleep again.” She laughs against my dick, which is already straining and eager to have her.

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