Page 15 of Psycho Saints

"Doesn't look like it. Why?"

"Well, if he pulls that stunt, you could always take half of everything."

Noms' eyes widened, a slow smile spreading across her face. "Now that's an idea..."

"Steve was a decent guy, though. I doubt he'd do it," I added, recalling him from that first, fateful night.

"Yeah, same," Noms agreed. "I'll think about it."

We soaked in silence for a while, enjoying the jets that massaged our tired muscles. After what felt like hours of pampering - facials, massages, mani-pedis - we found ourselves wrapped in fluffy robes, lounging in a pristine relaxation area.

A server brought over a beautifully arranged charcuterie board and two glasses of sparkling water. I eyed the security detail hovering near the entrance, grateful they kept their distance.

"So," Noms whispered, leaning in close. "How're you really holding up?"

I picked at a piece of cheese, avoiding her gaze. "I don't know, Noms. It's all so fucked up."

"That's putting it mildly," she snorted. "Have you thought about what you're gonna do?"

I shrugged, popping an olive into my mouth. "Can't do much until I know for sure if I'm... you know."

Noms nodded, her blue eyes filled with concern. "And if you are?"

"I don't know," I admitted, my voice barely audible. "Part of me wants to get rid of it. But another part..."

"Scar," Noms interrupted, gripping my hand. "You can't seriously be considering keeping it."

I pulled away, suddenly defensive. "And what if I am?" I'd not told her the latest issue with Cristian. I couldn't explain why I felt the need to protect him right now, and telling her would shatter any hope I had of them ever getting along.

If that wasn't fucked up, then I wasn't sure what was, but I couldn't help how I felt right now.

"Honey, these men kept you captive. They're crime bosses. One of them..." she trailed off, not bothering to say the words of what Cristian had done, putting us in this whole mess.

"I know what they are," I hissed. "You don't think I know that?"

Noms held up her hands in surrender. "I'm just worried about you. This isn't healthy."

I deflated, the fight leaving me as quickly as it came. "Nothing about this situation is healthy."

We fell silent for a moment, the weight settling on our shoulders like it had many times before.

"What if..." Noms began, her voice hesitant. "What if we made a break for it? Right now?"

My heart skipped a beat at the thought, but I quelled it instantly.

"I can't," I whispered, knowing it was a far-fetched thought, nothing I could entertain. "They'd hunt me down. It's not just about the deal anymore. If I'm pregnant..."

Noms squeezed my hand. "Then get rid of it. We'll find a way. You don't owe them anything."

The words sliced deep whether she meant for them to or not. Get rid of it. Abort. The thought of destroying the life potentially growing inside me made me physically ill. I couldn't kill an unborn baby. I'd held Lily's lifeless body, and it had shattered a part of me. I just couldn't do it.

"I can't do that," I choked out, surprising myself with the certainty in my voice.

Noms pulled back, studying my face. "Scar, honey... don't tell me you actually want this baby."

I couldn't meet her eyes. "I don't know what I want. But I know I can't... I won't do that."

She sighed, nodding after a moment, understanding flaring in her eyes.

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