Page 24 of Psycho Saints

I felt numb, detached from my body. Who was I now? The woman who'd taken a life in such a brutal manner didn't feel like me. It was as if another person had taken control, channeling all my rage and pain into that knife.

"I'm a monster," I whispered, my voice barely audible over the shower's spray.

Cristian cupped my face, forcing me to meet his gaze. "No, kitten. You're perfect. This is where you belong - with us. You're one of us."

I remembered Tyrone's face as he'd gently pried the knife from my blood-slicked fingers. The pride in his eyes as he'd kissed my temple before helping me into the car. Julian's comforting presence as he'd wrapped his jacket around my shoulders and held my hand in the backseat.

And Cristian... he'd held my leg, pressed his lips to my bloody cheek without hesitation. When he'd pulled away, his lips had been stained crimson. A mark of my transformation.

"I became someone else," I mumbled, leaning into Cristian's touch. "It was like... everything exploded out of me. All the twisted emotions, the rage. I couldn't stop."

"That's who you really are, kitten," Cristian said, his voice low and intense. "You've always had this in you. We just helped you embrace it."

I closed my eyes, feeling the weight of my actions settle over me. The Scarlet who'd walked into that warehouse was gone. In her place was someone new, someone darker. Someone who belonged with the Silvestri brothers.

As Cristian continued to wash away the physical evidence of my crime, I knew the emotional scars would remain. But for the first time since I'd been taken, I felt a twisted sense of belonging. This was my family now, forged in blood and darkness.

Nothing could erase what I'd done. What I'd become.

A Silvestri, baptized in blood and vengeance.

Cristian lifted me from the shower, his strong arms cradling me against his chest. Whatever hatred and unease I'd felt for him had been unleashed on Ian, and his tenderness had helped ease the rawness of the wounds he'd inflicted on my soul. The world blurred as he carried me, reminiscent of that first night when he'd opened up to me, when I'd felt some twisted connection with him. Now, it felt different. I was different. Despite everything he'd done, the betrayal and hurt, right now, I was glad to be in his arms, to have someone who understood the pain I'd endured with Ian, the loss and heartache. It was warped, this strange bond we shared despite everything, but I couldn't deny it.

Hell, maybe it was some horrid Stockholm Syndrome thing, but right now, I didn't care. I was just grateful he was helping me clean up and taking care of me after what I'd done.

He settled us on the bed, positioning us so I faced the floor-to-ceiling windows. The city sprawled before us, a glittering tapestry of lights against the darkened sky. Cristian's arms encircled me, his breath warm against my neck.

"Look at it, kitten," he murmured. "This is your empire now. This city belongs to you."

I stared out at the urban landscape, trying to process his words. My mind still reeled from what I'd done, the blood I'd spilled. "What, am I? Am I a Silvestri now?" I muttered, my voice barely above a whisper.

Cristian's lips brushed my ear. "Not yet, kitten. But soon."

A shudder ran through me. "I just killed a man," I said, the reality of it sinking in. "Brutally."

I'd killed before, but not like this. This was ruthless, bloody, and feral. This was not protecting someone, this was vengeance. It wouldn't bring my baby back.

His arms tightened around me. "You were getting revenge, sweetheart. For what he took from you." His voice dropped lower, filled with a dark pride. "You were born to rise from the shadows of your world. I'm so proud of you."

Something stirred inside me at his words. A warmth that spread through my chest, chasing away the cold numbness that had settled there. It felt... good. Oddly good to hear his praise, to know I'd done something that made him proud.

And I knew that was insane, but I was done trying to fight my conflicted feelings for him. At least for now.

I leaned back into his embrace, letting my head rest against his shoulder. Cristian's fingers found their way into my hair, gently teasing through the damp strands. The repetitive motion soothed me, drawing me deeper into a cocoon of warmth and safety. Something I shouldn't have felt content with after what he'd done to me, but something deep in my bones told me he'd changed. Everything had changed.

I shifted in Cristian's arms, turning to face him. His deep brown eyes met mine, and he frowned as I sighed.

"Why?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. "Why did you think removing my IUD was a good idea?"

Cristian's jaw clenched. "I wanted you to be mine, completely. I thought... I thought giving you a child would bind you to us forever."

I shook my head, although there was no swell of anger. I was emotionally spent after everything, I just wanted answers. "You had no right. How am I supposed to trust you again? How do I know you won't do something like that again?"

He cupped my face in his hands, his touch gentle despite the intensity in his eyes. "I know who I am, kitten. I enjoy pain, making you submit when we're together. But I won't hurt you like that again. I'll never drug you again. You have my word."

I snorted, still uneasy. "Your word doesn't mean much right now."

"If I break it, you're welcome to cut off my dick," he said, his lips quirking into a half-smile. "Or bite it off, if that suits you."

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