Page 56 of Psycho Saints

I watched Cristian for a moment, his fingers plucking at the guitar strings. The tension in his shoulders was obvious, and I couldn't stay silent any longer.

"What's going on?" I asked softly.

Cristian's fingers stilled on the strings. "I'm... I'm not sure."

"If you're worried about what happened…" I paused, hating to remind him of his own grief and loss. "I want Xavier just as much as you do. I'm having him no matter what, he's my son."

"That's not it, kitten. I know you're going to be a great mom, that this is what you want," he said gently as he took my hand, staring hard at it as he ran his thumb over my knuckles.

As he looked up at me, I realized it was fear I saw in his eyes. It was an expression I'd rarely seen on his face, and it tugged at my heart.

"Are you scared?" I ventured, reaching out to touch his arm as it dawned on me.

He nodded, swallowing hard as his gaze slipped from mine. He set his guitar down with a heavy sigh and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "What if... what if I'm too broken to be a good enough dad? I don't want our son to end up messed up like me." His voice cracked slightly as he shook his head. "I'm hoping he'll have enough of your traits to be a fierce, powerful man when he's grown. That my brothers will guide him to be the best person possible." He tried to smirk at me, but it was weak and fell just as quickly.

I took a deep breath, considering my words carefully. "Cris, if you're this worried about it, then that's a good thing. It means you care enough to want to do the best by him."

He nodded, relief spreading across his face as he pulled me into his chest and kissed my forehead. "Thank you. I think I needed to hear that. Seeing you looking so bright and happy, it had me worried…"

"There's nothing to worry about. Our son is going to be wonderful, he has three powerful men who would do anything for him, and he has me," I said softly. My men, as fearsome as they were, had been so soft and gentle with me, I knew they'd do the same with our child. I did worry about how they'd be raised in the family business, but I also knew they'd be living a life many could only dream of.

Everything came at a price.

"You're the main one I think that will make him the best person he can be. Us Silvestri men… we're a bit…" he faltered, and I leaned up to kiss him.

"Crazy sometimes?" I finished for him with a cheeky smile.

"Exactly. I still need to show you my tank," he said with a smirk, the Cristian I knew shining back through as I laughed.

"No tanks. We can see it, but our son is not being carted around in that for his one year birthday," I snickered, and he had the audacity to actually pout.

"That'd be a pretty wicked birthday, though, wouldn't it?" he teased as he nuzzled my nose with his.

"One he'd be lucky to remember at that age," I said with a chuckle.

"Thank you. For his name, too. You have no idea…" He sighed, the emotions overwhelming him as he tightened his arms around me.

"I'd like you to tell me more about him, when you're ready," I said softly.

"He was a wonderful man, practically family. He was the son of my father's bodyguard, and he was always there with me. I'll show you some photos of him later, of the things we did. He was the first one who got me out on a jet-ski, and then we sky-dived together, even roped Julian in for that. Fun fact, he hates heights," he said with a wink, and I snorted.

"I'd love that. And we'll make sure Xavier knows who he's named after," I said as I touched my belly, and his hand moved to cover mine.

"I'd destroy the entire world for you and our baby if I had to," he murmured as he rested his forehead on mine and closed his eyes.

"Just be the best version of yourself that you can be," I told him, running my fingers through his hair. "That's all any of us can do. You've changed so much since I fell pregnant. You're a man he'd be proud to call his father."

His eyes opened, those dark depths so soft and tender as he smiled at me.

"Fuck, I love you so goddamn much, Scarlet."

25

SCARLET

Cristian's lips found mine in a deep, passionate kiss before I could return the sentiment. When we broke apart, he grinned mischievously. "Can we have a little fun?" he asked, maneuvering me onto his lap where I could feel his arousal pressing against me.

I laughed, feeling the tension dissipate as his worries faded. Leaning in, I placed a soft kiss on the tip of his nose. His face lit up at the small gesture, eyes crinkling with joy.

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