Page 8 of Knot Your Rebel

Delicate hands grab onto my upper arms, startling me. My eyes grow wide as I finally come back to reality, turning to find Nova standing behind me. A deep shade of concern crosses her face. “Are you okay?” A lump forms in my throat before I nod.

She walks around the couch, arms out, and waits for me. “You know you’re safe, right?” she whispers.

But you’re not safe, the back of my brain reminds me. He’s still out there and could very well be watching me, us. He knows I’m here with Nova.

Not wanting to give her anything else to worry about, I opt to just agree. Doing otherwise would prove pointless and exhaustive.

Speaking of time… why did I waste so much on him? Because he was the first guy who gave you the time of day, the bitter part of my brain replies. Why did no one warn me? They did, I remind myself. I just didn’t listen, blinded by what I thought was love.

How was I to know it was all a lie? I’d never been in love before.

Lesson learned. I fell for him, and it blew up in my face.

“What’s the plan for tonight?”

“I’m thinking… dancing, drinking, and a little bit of fun down at Shots N’ Sips?” I shake my shoulders with a little dance, and she snorts.

“You’re a nutcase, you know that, right?”

Shots N’ Sips is a local bar mostly overrun by hockey enthusiasts, puck bunnies, and players on game days, whether they’ve won or lost. There’s a rink with seating in the basement where a beer league plays on Wednesday nights and Sunday afternoons. You’d immediately think, how in the hell is there a rink in the basement of a dingy bar, but the whole place was converted from an old industrial building. It has those cool exposed pipes on the ceiling and modern looking accessories. I’m pretty sure it’s more than just a bar, too, but I haven’t confirmed what else may exist inside.

A look flashes across her face briefly before it’s gone. What was it? Disappointment? Annoyance? Both? “Do you think that’s a good idea?” she says, already eyeing the now watered down whiskey on the coffee table. Shit, I knew I should’ve taken that to the kitchen first. I’ve been trying to keep my drinking to myself because I don’t want her to worry. I’m fine. I’m just coping with a bad breakup, right?

Do I want to sit on the couch and remind myself of what a recluse I’ve become in the last month? I don’t leave the house unless I absolutely have to. And I always make sure I absolutely do not have to. Well, unless it's to go out and let myself forget for the night.

Sometimes, I go to Shots N’ Sips by myself to see how many guys I can get to buy me a drink before they realize I have no interest in actually fucking them afterward. In hindsight, it’s probably not the right decision, but when was the last time I made a good one?

Clearly, I can’t be trusted to make them. Look at my current situation.

“Rebel?” The question lingers in the space between us.

“I think it’s a great idea. It’s the weekend… why can’t we live a little?”

She makes her way around the couch and sits down beside me, pulling my hand into hers. “I’m just worried about you, Rebel. It’s like you’ve got this destructive tick you can’t shake right now, and I’m not sure what to do to help you.”

“I’m fine, okay? Look, I’m taking care of myself just fine. I’m not crying anymore…” Her lips tip down on the corners.

“Please, Nov… for me?” I beg her. I’ll go by myself, it wouldn't be the first time, but normally, it’s during work. Tonight, she’s here, and judging by the look on her face, I’m not going anywhere without her.

She shakes her head and sighs, pointing down the hallway. “Fine. Go change. I guess we’re going out.”

I jump up too quickly, my head spins immediately, and I throw my hands out to somehow balance myself. Well, that’s not good. I quickly right myself, hoping she didn’t notice. “Thank you, thank you! I need like half an hour tops.” Turning on my heel, I head down the hall, feeling the burn of her eyes on my back, even though I know it’s there.

My chest twists into knots, and I feel it in my head every time I think about walking through the front door. Why did he have to ruin it for me? We could have had it all, the world in the palm of our hands. I wonder, were we ever truly happy or were we caught up in what society thinks we should be?

Things have gotten a lot better for omegas in the last decade, but some still think omega’s should be left at home to breed and clean the house. Something to slake your lust into when it comes on.

Maybe one day it won’t cut so deep; his betrayal. He made me fall in love with him, and then ripped my heart out. Maybe one day I’ll find someone, but right now, love is not in the cards, neither are men… unless it’s an alpha with a nice knot, and I’m about to go through a heat. Guess it would be a good idea to figure that out sooner rather than later. Maybe I’ll check in with the Heat Club and choose an alpha. I can’t ask Brad’s alpha friend to help me again.

At least I’ve got a few months to figure it out.

Picking up my phone, I pull up the weather app to see what it’s like outside, since I haven’t been out there recently. Lows in the fifties… so I may be cold tonight, but the alcohol should warm me up so nicely that I won’t mind too much.

I stand at my closet, looking over the small selection of clothes I have. Once I’d been here a week, I decided that instead of going back to my house, I would just buy new stuff with the tiny stash of cash I had left. A shiny silver dress snags my attention.

I’ve definitely lost a few pounds since I bought the dress, and I’m sure it’s going to be even better than it was. Stripping down, I pick up the dress and slide into it, loving how soft it is against my skin. Turning, I took a look at myself in the mirror directly to my right. The front dips low exposing my cleavage, and the rest hugs my body, showing off every dip and curve. The shoes I’ve put on give me height, making me look like I have the quintessential long, slender legs every girl dreams of, showing an expanse of tanned skin for anyone's eyes to see. Perfect.

I turn and look at the back, satisfied that it looks just as good as the front. Making my way towards the bathroom, I run into Nova. “Damn girl, who’s this hottie?” She holds her hands out to me, and I take them before she spins me around and walks away. “I love this dress.”

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