Page 153 of Alien God

“No,” he said roughly, “no, beloved. Please don’t forgive me. I have not earned it yet.”

“You can start earning it by coming here and holding me, then! You ridiculous, stubborn man!” I cried, anger fusing with my sadness. “I’ve been here without you for days. Days and nights of pain and loneliness and wanting you. And now, you’re finally here, and you’re more interested in self-flagellation than giving me what I need! And in case it wasn’t clear, what I need is you!”

He sat still and straight, and I thought with a lurch he’d turn me down. But then, like crystal dropped on the floor, shattering, the pieces exploding outward with violent motion, he burst into movement. With a rasping growl, he turned and wrapped his arms around my waist, drawing me into his lap. My legs spread across his thighs, straddling him, and I moaned at the hardness pressing against me. It felt different, thicker in the middle than before. The knot.

Wylfrael ran shaky hands under my nightgown, his breathing ragged, his mouth everywhere. Between sucking kisses along my throat, words rushed out of him.

“I’m so sorry, Torrance. I’m sorry. I love you so, so much. I love you while I entirely hate myself. I want to punish myself, to keep away, to never let myself near you because I could never hope to deserve you again. But I am weak, beloved. So weak that my need for you outweighs any questions of deserving or punishment or pain.”

“No more punishment. No more pain,” I breathed, rubbing myself tenderly against him, feeling him throb and groan. “We’ve had enough of that for a hundred lifetimes.” I placed my hands on either side of his jaw, kissing him softly before locking gazes fiercely with him. I wanted to banish that haunted look from his eyes. “I forgive you, Wylf. You may not accept that yet, but I do. You can hate yourself if you want to, but I never will. Not anymore. You’re my husband. My mate. For as long as we both shall live, remember? ’Til death do us part. Well, death already came, and even that couldn’t part us. Because I’m still fucking here and I still fucking love you.”

I kissed him again, then reached to undo the laces of his trousers. He caught my wrists in his hands, as if to stop me.

“It’s OK, Wylf,” I murmured against his lips. “You don’t need to worry about protecting me. The prophecy is fulfilled. It’s done. You’re free now.”

Wylf shuddered and released my wrists.

I undid his trousers, pulling out his cock. It was thick and heavy and so fucking hard, glistening at the tip. The shape had changed, and I stared in fascination at the way it bulged in the middle, a hot, round swell so engorged it almost looked painful.

I reached a tentative hand forward, brushing the swell with my fingers. Wylf hissed in response, and I started to stroke, using both hands, wrapping them around the thick bulge and kneading it experimentally.

As I touched him, a prickling fever spread through my spine. My blood heated, and goosebumps pebbled down my arms. I shivered, weakness gripping me, weakness I thought I’d largely overcome in my recovery.

“Wylf,” I moaned, afraid of the sudden change in my body.

“Torrance, beloved, you’re starburning.”

Wylfrael eased me onto my back in the bed while my limbs convulsed, frosted fire licking through my veins. I was burning, boiling and freezing, every nerve inflamed to the point of ecstatic agony. My nipples hardened, and I arched on the bed, shivering uncontrollably. Something in me was changing. I was changing. Slick fluid soaked the place between my legs, and my insides clenched and stretched, feeling hot and cold and so fucking empty.

“I need you,” I groaned, the words distorted by my chattering teeth. Wylf ran soothing hands down my body, massaging trembling tightness from my quivering thighs.

“You need my knot,” he corrected me gruffly.

“No,” I whimpered. “Need you.”

“Torrance, curse me, Torrance. I’ll give you everything. Everything I have, everything I am.” He eased my thighs apart with a choked groan. “Stone of the sky, you’re already so ready for me.”

“Hurry,” I cried. I needed, needed, needed, right there, right between my legs. Deep inside, I needed fullness and firmness and pressure. I knew instinctively that it was the only thing that would help me, the only thing that would save me now.

Wylfrael pressed his slick tip to my wetness, and I trembled, breath burning in my throat. I fisted the furs, my spine arching right off the mattress. The pain in my chest was a distant echo to the agony between my legs, a need only Wylfrael could fill.

He pressed inside, sinking all the way up to his knot in one brutal movement. Before now, it had taken foreplay and adjusting to even get this much of him inside me. But now? It was nowhere near enough.

Wylfrael rocked into me, his knot grazing my folds with every thrust, a teasing kiss of sensation that made my fever spike higher. I was a desperate thing, wild and writhing, trying to drag him harder into me.

“I give you everything, Torrance,” Wylf rasped, punctuating each word with a hard thrust. “My knot. My life. My death.”

His words cut through the manic heat in my brain.

“Wait!” I gasped. “If you do this, you’ll be mortal. You’re asking me to cause your death! You’re basically asking me to kill you someday!”

“Good,” he growled fiercely. “So, kill me, then.” He grabbed my hands, holding them high over my head, twining his fingers between mine as he pumped into me. “This is what I want, Torrance. I want to be mortal with you. I won’t survive the loss of you – not again.” The motions of his hips grew more chaotic, less controlled. Every thrust drove his knot a little harder against me. Not all the way inside, but almost, a maddening press that made my eyes roll back in my head.

“This is what I want,” he said again, directly against my ear. “I’d rather live for half a heartbeat and make it count than live ten thousand empty lives without you.”

I wept, overwhelmed by his words and the starburn and him. I nodded over and over again, my hair tangling under my head.

“Yes, Wylf, yes. We’ll make it count. I swear, we’ll make it count.”