Page 50 of Alien God

I fell apart anyway.

My power sputtered, then retreated. I collapsed to my knees, wind swirling against the great, chaotic dunes of snow that I’d created out of once-smooth white. I leaned forward on my hands and knees, my fingers sinking into the snow as I panted.

Who is she?

I knew now that I could never find out. I could never seek her out among the stars and claim her as I was destined to do. If meeting me would be her death, then she would never meet me at all. I would resign myself to a life of isolation, along with eventual mate-madness, or star-darkness, or both, to save her life.

At least Skalla has found his, I thought bitterly to myself. I hoped that she was safe, that her touch had calmed his berserker rage, soothed his madness, and brought him back into himself. But at the same time, an ugly jealousy made me almost wish she weren’t safe. Why should Skalla’s mate be fine when mine was doomed to die simply because she’d been bonded to me?

Rúnwebbe hadn’t given me enough information about Skalla; I’d still have to go track him down and make sure his rampage had ended for good and that he hadn’t harmed his mate in blind fury. And I still needed to find out what was happening at Heofonraed. But now that I knew I’d never have my mate at my side, approaching or joining the Council of the Gods was out of the question.

I stood, the bleeding ache inside me clotting to form grief-stricken resignation. I would have no mate. My greatest love would forever be lost to me before I’d ever even had the chance to find her. I would have no sons, would never have what my parents had once had, what every stone sky god searched for.

An empty, endless life.

Maybe I should have let Skalla kill me after all.

The storm was a full-fledged blizzard now, flurries of snow making it near impossible to see. I shouted, “Mirreth!” into the gale, and the castle appeared, a dim silhouette among the swirling white.

Feeling my future weigh as heavily upon me as stone, I trudged towards the castle as if to take shelter in the past.

Of course, being greeted by Shoshen in the entrance hall reminded me that this was not the past. Things had changed, including the occupants of this castle. It was the whole reason I’d gone to see Rúnwebbe in the first place.

“Quite a storm whipping up out there, my lord! I’m glad you’ve returned safely.”

I grunted, in too foul a mood to form a proper reply. No doubt sensing it, Shoshen shut his mouth and flattened his ears.

I took in a deep breath through my nose, forcing myself to stay civil, to not punish the Sionnachans for my anger, my fate.

“Here, Shoshen,” I said, my voice gruff with the effort it took to remain calm. I took three squares of webbing out of the satchel, leaving only one for the prisoner. “These are for you, Aiko, and Ashken. Put the square into one of your ears, and you’ll be able to understand everything the prisoner says. And anyone else who ever speaks to you in an unknown language, for that matter.”

Since my mother was Sionnachan, and I’d been raised here, I spoke Sionnachan as well as the language of the stone sky, so the fact my staff didn’t currently have any webbing had been no great matter. Shoshen looked stunned by what I’d said, staring at the glowing squares with their interwoven multi-coloured threads. Finally, he reached for the squares, taking two in one hand and one in the other. Looking unsure, but not willing to disobey me, he draped a square over his right ear.

“It has to go deeper,” I growled. I raised my hand, poking the web deep into his ear. Shoshen suppressed a yelp and clapped his hand to his ear when my finger withdrew.

“It feels odd, but it will pass. Don’t shake your head around or try to take it out until it’s dissolved,” I told him. His tail puffed up and twitched, but otherwise, he remained completely still at my command. Eventually, the tension in his body eased.

“It does not feel strange now,” he said. “Thank you, my lord.”

“For what?”

“I... I must admit, I would like to be able to understand her – the prisoner. She has been very cooperative while you’ve been gone. I rather think... I rather think she is trying to be kind to us.”

My mouth thinned into a hard line, my wings pulsing with irritation. After everything I’d been through today, I absolutely did not want to hear about how kind the woman who’d invaded my world was.

“Oh! And her name is Torrance, by the way, my lord. I know you asked Aiko to find out.”

Torrance...

I grunted again, then pointed a claw at the two squares left in his hand. “Those are for Aiko and Ashken. You can explain it to them.” I bit back a sigh at the fact that I would have to be the one to put the web in Torrance’s ear. No matter how kind she’d pretended to be in my absence, there was no way she’d let a Sionnachan insert it into her ear. And I doubted Aiko or Shoshen would have the gall to even try, once she started struggling.

This time, I didn’t hold it back. A heated sigh hissed between my fangs. The thought of going up to Torrance’s chamber now and dealing with her flailing and wiggling exhausted me. The news Rúnwebbe had imparted was the greatest blow I’d ever suffered in my life – even worse than when I’d nearly died. And now I was expected to deal with mundane matters like the prisoner in my tower? A dark realization came over me, the realization that I would not be able to contain my anger around her, control the need to punish something, as well as I had around Shoshen. The Sionnachans were innocent.

She was not.

I will not go to her today.

I would save her webbing, and my interrogations, for tomorrow. When I was in greater control of myself and had had more time to absorb everything that had come to pass today. I was no longer overly concerned about her being ill, either. When she’d woken this morning, I’d noticed that much of the redness in her eyes had gone, and her breathing had returned to normal.

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