Page 152 of Alien God

I froze. Was he finally going to explain that to me? And why now?

“What does that have to do with anything?” I asked.

“Because I knew that this would happen, in a way.” Wylf’s voice grated, and he sounded just as exhausted as I was. “I knew that this would happen to her. I just didn’t know that she was you. When I went to see Rúnwebbe, she did not just give me webbing, but also a prophecy. She told me I would kill my fated mate with my own blade. So, I vowed never to find her. Little did I know, she’d already found me. She was in my Dawn Tower the entire time... A partner and a pawn. Trapped under the arching sky of dawn.”

“That’s why you never wanted to find your bride. You didn’t want to hurt her,” I replied, slowly sifting through what he’d just said.

“Yes,” he murmured gruffly. “But I was a fool. Every step I took away from her, to keep her safe, was one step closer to you and to your death.” His fingers brushed my jaw, and I whimpered, leaning into the touch I’d craved for so long. “The one I was trying to stay away from was you all along, Torrance. You are my fated bride. My eternal mate. That fever you felt in Heofonraed wasn’t illness. It was the starburn.”

“But... How... Why? Why did you...”

“Kill you?” His voice turned raw. “I go over and over that moment in my mind. Trying to find out if there was another way. If I could have sensed it, stopped it.” He pulled his fingers from my face, fisting them in his lap. “The monster I was fighting was an illusion. One of the members of the council must have some kind of shadow power similar to Sceadulyr’s. It wasn’t real, but as I fought, I thought it was. And when I slayed it with my blade, I-” His words shattered, breaking off.

“You hit me instead,” I finished quietly for him.

“Yes.”

He didn’t look at me now. My huge, strong husband was hunched over, pain radiating off of him in waves so thick I could practically see them, catch them in my hands.

“So, you couldn’t see me, and didn’t know it was me,” I said, making sure I fully understood.

“No, I did not see you,” he confirmed. He gave a bitter snort. “I thought I was protecting you. I was terrified because I knew you were near. I could smell you, and it made me strike even harder. Almost immediately, the illusion faded, and I saw what I had done.”

Oh, my God.

Even though I was the one who’d gotten hurt, who’d apparently even died, pain for my husband exceeded my own. I couldn’t even imagine what that must have been like – knowing he’d hurt me. Killed me. Knowing that the brutal prophecy he’d tried so hard to avoid had come true anyway, despite all his efforts, or maybe even because of them.

I reached up, touching the large, shiny pink scar between my breasts through my nightgown.

“Then what happened?” I asked. The things he was telling me were like a story that had happened to someone else. A movie I’d watched once, or a dream. It didn’t feel real.

“I knew the council would not help me. They’d expected me to die in that instant, no doubt. I took you to Sceadulyr. He revived you, and in return, I must open sky doors for him, for as long as it takes until he finds his mate. Or, until I die, I suppose.”

Until he dies...

“So, you’ve... you’ve starburned, then?”

“Yes,” Wylf said. “It started the moment my sword sank into you. Rather cruel timing.”

“So right now, you have the... the...”

“A knot? Yes.”

Heat flared in my belly as I wondered what it looked like. But I doubted he was in the mood to show me. He seemed cagey and uncomfortable. Like he didn’t even know me, or maybe didn’t know himself.

“Wylf,” I whispered, tears squeezing the word, “would you look at me? Hold me?”

His wings shuddered, and his jaw worked.

“I do not feel that I deserve to touch you, beloved. Not now.”

“But what about what I need, what I want?” I sobbed, tears streaming. “Don’t I deserve to be touched by the one I love?”

“You love me,” he said slowly, like he didn’t believe it, “even after all of this. All I’ve told you, all I’ve done...”

“Yes,” I said adamantly. “And even more than that, I forgive you.”

Wylf tensed, his spine going straight.

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