Page 40 of Vipers & Roses

“No. Get out of my way,” I shrill louder than I intended, waving my hand at him to move so I could shut the door.

“I want to see you again,” he slips in between my growls of anger. “But-”

“No. It’s fine. I don’t need to hear it. Thanks for teaching me to shoot. I won’t need your services anymore,” I rant, trying hard to compose myself, pulling the door onto him so he gets the message and leaves.

“Rae, I want to see you again,” he repeats. “But we have to take it slow.”

I can’t look at him. My eyes are welling up, and emotions are storming through me. I’m struggling to articulate this. What is this? Why am I reacting this way? “Slow,” I parrot.

“But ah…we have to take it easy because of what I do,” he says softly. His warm breath graces me, and finally, I understand. It would be best if you didn’t get caught up in my parallel life. Okay?”

I nod, still unable to look at him.

His hand finds my thigh and rubs to comfort me. “You must be kept separate from that seedy world for your protection.”

I frown in confusion. “I’m already in that world, Blake. I’m the one who cleans blood and brain particles off the walls.”

“No, Rae, you’re on the edge of it,” he speaks calmly, but I sense a snag in his tone that he’s grappling with this. “Look, if we’re going to keep seeing each other, there are some things I can’t talk to you about, and there are times when I have to disappear for days and can’t answer your calls.”

I nod in understanding because I have secrets, too.

“You need to understand that there is a part of me that I cannot share with you. Okay, Rae?” he says bluntly. “Okay?”

“Yep,” I nod, pretending to be unenthused because my stubbornness is getting the better of me.

“Look at me in the eyes,” he instructs, and I turn to face him. He holds my face warmly and presses his lips against mine. “We’ll take it slow.”

“Okay. I get it,” I tell him. I’m overreacting to this, and I don’t understand why. Wait. Yes, I do know why. I’m out of practice with the dating scene, and let’s face it, I’m attracted to Blake.

“I’m going to let you go now, but I want to see you again soon. I’ll message you,” he explains.

Something comes over me, and I’m reminded of who I am and my objective for the end of summer. “Maybe it’s better that we don’t. I mean…I’m busy with class and work, so perhaps it’s better if we don’t see each other again.”

He narrows his eyes at me. “Change of tune.”

“Yeah, well, maybe I’ve got things I have to do, too,” I say boldly, feeling proud.

“No, we’re not doing that,” his tone is steely, and I see a flicker of another man, the man who works for Smiler, doing things he cannot utter. “I’m not letting you go, Rae.”

“We’ll see,” I challenge him, grabbing the door and pulling it against him.

“Sure, you run, little lady, but I’ll run after you. You hear me, Rae?” he says smoothly and confidently, like a king.

“I need to go now,” I tell him with mixed feelings. He finally moves out of the way, and I slam the door hard, sending him a message that I’m pissed off. I sense him in my peripheral vision, watching me as I back out of the park and leave the premises.

The further I drive away from him, the clearer my thoughts become. I promised myself to keep my life simple until the job was done. The last thing I need right now is a boyfriend, especially one who works for a crime mob. Wait. I also work for the mobster, so that argument doesn’t work in my favor. No, I need a simple life. That’s all. No romance, no love, no entanglements, no games. Not yet.

“But jeez, he’s hard to resist,” I breathe as I drive west toward Keele Uni to harvest some plant samples for my herbarium assignment. At least being in nature, smelling the flowers, and touching the many varied textures of plants will make me feel better.

My phone beeps, and I know it’s Blake, but I don't even look at it, so I decide not to answer until I arrive at uni. He can wait. I might drive slower, so I take longer to arrive. I pull up to the traffic lights, and my fingers twitch on the steering wheel, eager to check my phone in my bag, but proudly, I refrain.

The light turns green, and I put my yellow Corolla into gear. My phone beeps for a second time. Too bad he can wait.

Finally, I drive through the canopy of evergreen trees that line the entrance of Keele Uni and find an empty car park by the main entrance. As soon as I cut the engine, I plunge my hand into my bag to grab my phone, and I find two messages left, one from Blake and the other from Z.

I open Z’s message first: Where r u?

Me: Uni. What’s up?

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