Page 74 of Vipers & Roses

“Rae,” he says in that even deep voice when I answer with echoing voices in the background and quick footsteps that don’t correlate with background noises in his frat house. “Sorry to call late. Where are you?”

“Home,” I reply, stepping into my bathroom to switch the water back off again, as I suspect this conversation might take a while. “Sorry I didn’t get back-”

He cuts in, “Don’t worry about that. Look, I’m in the hospital with Josh.”

“Oh, Cormac, what happened?” I sit back down on the edge of the bed, assuming the problem is with Josh since Cormac’s voice is healthy and clear.

“It’s ah…Lu,” he stutters, and my entire body recoils as a drum pounds hypnotically behind my eyes. She…Josh found her,” he exhales. “They’re pumping her stomach now.”

“She overdosed?” I ask to clarify as the room spins and a stitching pain cuts into my neck.

“Yeah,” he answers gravely, dragging out his voice. “I don’t know.”

“What do you mean?” I ask, rubbing my right temple with the balls of my fingers to ease the tension. “You don’t sound so sure.”

His breath hitches as if he’s standing up from sitting down, and I wait in silence as the echoing sounds of a busy hospital play out in an odd, surrealistic way.

“Cormac?” I ask after several moments of listening to the sound of his breathing.

“Hang on,” he whispers. I hear the sound of a door squealing open, and then Cormac exhales. “I’m outside in a courtyard. It seemed inappropriate to talk to you in front of Josh.”

A circus of nerves swims about in my chest and stomach in trepidation for what he’s about to say. “Is she going to be okay? Cormac, is Lucy going to be okay?”

“I don’t know. Josh found her in her bedroom, and she was groggy but conscious.” He exhales again. “A bottle of ketamine by her bed. She must’ve bought them online or something because Josh is certain that she wasn’t taking any prescription medications and the bottle didn’t have prescription label on them.”

“Jeezus, Cormac, I’m so sorry,” emotions are riding high, but the tears refuse to fall because I’m too fucking angry to cry and using all my might not to let it show in my voice.

“Josh said that she was…” he exhales again. “Did you speak to her yesterday, Rae?”

“Yeah, I ah, we had a quick chat when I was wedding under the great oak on the southside by-”

“What about?” he interrupts, cutting to the chase.

“I inadvertently walked into the viewing bay while she and your coach were…at it. Your father was there too. Um, she wanted to make sure that I wouldn’t tell you because she was scared that you’d tell Josh,” I explain. “But I had already told you when I saw them in the classroom. Is this why she overdosed, Cormac? Because she was scared that Josh would find out that she was having an affair and call the engagement off.”

Silence.

“Cormac?” My head is thudding so loudly that I can barely hear his breath.

Silence.

“Cormac, talk to me,” I panic. “Did you mention her affair to Josh?”

“No,” his answer comes swiftly and assertively. I was certain you were mistaken. Anyway, Josh said that Lucy called your name when she was groggy. So, now the mystery has been solved why she did that.”

“I’m so sorry, Cormac,” I repeat because I don’t know what else to say at a moment like this.

“It’s not your fault,” he assures me, but it does little to ease my discomfort and growing rage.

There’s more question I need to ask him. Something that’s been nagging at me since the beginning of the conversation. “Cormac, you seemed unsure if it was a suicide attempt.”

“Yeah,” he fades away for a few beats before returning. “He’s probably mistaken, but Josh said she had finger marks on her neck…”

The room spins as I drop the phone, and a piercing whistle invades my senses, drowning out the outside traffic noises and my heartbeat.

I pick up the phone from the floor and press it against my ear.

“Rae?” he states in a concerned voice.

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