Page 60 of Stolen

“You should have told me,” I repeated. “We vowed it, Laurent. No secrets between us. We tell each other everything, and we have each other’s backs.”

He turned his head to the side, and a struggle played over his face as he seemed to wrestle with some strong emotion. When he looked at me again, tears spilled from his eyes, dripping down his cheeks like liquid moonlight. “I know that now. I knew it then. You’re right, Varick. I lied to you, and it was a conscious decision. And if you can’t forgive me, I have to live with that. I have to go the rest of my life knowing I ruined us because I was too much of a coward to tell you the truth.” He put out his hands, his palms up like he was weighing something. “I had to choose between my people and this child that wasn’t yet real. And I told myself that was the hard part. That I was making this decision and keeping it from you so you didn’t have that burden. But that was just another lie. Because I knew you would never go along with it—”

“But you didn’t know that,” I said, a spark of anger reigniting. It was better than being numb, though, and I leaned into it, crawling forward until my knees touched Laurent’s. And then I was brushing the tears off his face because I didn’t like seeing them there. “You didn’t know because you didn’t tell me. You didn’t give me a chance to say yes or no.”

“I know,” he whispered. “I know how—” He swallowed hard. “Varick, I would never— Not after—”

“I know you wouldn’t,” I said, taking pity on him as he struggled to speak about the beach at Lar Keiren without saying it directly. “You would never hurt me that way. But you still hurt me, Laurent. What you did is different but it’s also the same. You tricked me into having sex I would have refused if I’d known the truth. You took something sacred between us and made it sordid.”

He closed his eyes. “Fuck,” he whispered on a watery exhale. “I’m not even sure I want you to forgive me. I don’t deserve it.”

Something inside me loosened. He was so obviously tormented—and he’d been this way for far longer than I realized. He’d suffered in silence, struggling with the knowledge that people would die unless he acted. My mind traveled back to my walk from the sod hut to the edge of camp. I could tolerate the sun better than most, but the sting had quickly grown uncomfortable. In another hour, it would have been unbearable. The knights in their cloaks had been pale and sweating. The lowpeople of Nor Doru would have died instantly.

Before I realized what I was doing, I’d leaned into Laurent. I put my hands on his shoulders. Felt the lean muscle under his jacket as I slid my palms to his biceps and pulled him close.

He sagged forward, and then our foreheads were pressed together. “I have no excuses,” he said quietly. “I was selfish then and I’m selfish now, because I won’t do this thing the prophecy demands. It’s not that I don’t care about my people. I do, but…” He shook his head a little. “I can’t do something if it means losing you. And that’s selfish of me. A king is supposed to put the good of the realm before his own desires. But I can’t. I love you too much.”

I froze. Everything inside me went still.

He felt it, and he pulled back. Nodded. “I love you,” he said quietly. “I am in love with you. I’m sorry I never said it before. I didn’t want to push you. I know that we—” He gestured between us. “What we are to each other isn’t as easy for you as it is for me. And I think for a long time I told myself it was better for you if I didn’t say it. Like we could fuck each other and that was all right, but loving each other would be crossing a line for you. But now I know that was wrong. I was wrong.” He drew an uneven breath, and his voice trembled as he said, “I love you. I always have. If you give me another chance, I’ll never stop saying it. I’ll say it so often you’ll get sick of hearing it. You won’t be able to shut me up—” His sentence ended in a muffled gasp as I tackled him to the floor and smashed my mouth against his.

I kissed him, and he kissed me back, tasting of tears and spices and home. And, suddenly, the world was solid again. Problems melted away, dissolving in the heat of his mouth and the slick glide of his tongue against mine. I drank him in, sipping at first and then gulping, grabbing his hair and holding him still so I could take everything I wanted.

And of course it wasn’t enough. I broke away and tore at his clothes. He joined me, twisting and grunting breathlessly as we shed jackets, boots, and trousers. Soon, we were both panting, our chests heaving as we struggled to remove the barriers between us. I pulled his gloves off and then stopped cold at the sight of his wounded, bleeding hand.

“Ignore it,” he said, pulling my head down.

I tugged from his grip and caught his wrist. “This has to hurt.” No, it had to be agony. His bone was exposed, the flesh around it shivering as it tried to heal and failed repeatedly.

“It’s nothing.” He lifted his head and found one of his gloves in the mess of our clothes. He yanked it on and stroked his good hand over my cheek. “It doesn’t hurt when I’m with you.”

I held myself over him, my weight on one forearm next to his head. His eyes were bright, as if his tears had polished his silver irises until they shined. Black stubble was just appearing on his cheek, and I ran my fingertips over it, hearing the rasp and watching his eyelids flutter as he shivered under me. “That’s a lie,” I murmured.

“Losing you would hurt worse.” He sifted his fingers through my burgeoning beard. “Not loving you would hurt worse.”

I pulled his palm from my face. Threaded our fingers together and pressed our joined hands to the carpet next to his head. “Then don’t stop,” I whispered. I lowered my head and took his mouth. Our kiss was softer this time, slow and reverent. I slanted my mouth across his, finding the post in his tongue and curling my tongue around it.

He wore it for me, along with the one in his ear. When he’d first gotten the piercings, I protested, arguing that he didn’t need to torture himself because of something that had happened to me. He’d insisted on keeping them, saying they were a reminder that he hadn’t been strong enough to heal my back that night on the beach. He’d never forgiven himself for leaving me alone while he fetched thralls, and he blamed himself for me seeking the water while he was gone. The piercings were a promise, he said, as well as a penance. “Let me hurt a little for you, baby.”

I kissed him harder now, and I rolled my hips against his so our cocks rubbed together.

He moaned softly, and the sound went straight to my dick, but I didn’t stop kissing him. I couldn’t stop. Didn’t want to. Words passed between us, loud and unspoken. I love you and I’m sorry and forgive me.

He lifted his hips, grinding his hard cock against mine. I lowered my chest and pressed the full length of my body tightly against his. There was no space between us now. No room for doubt. I squeezed his hand and moved against him, rolling my hips so my erection slid along his. Pleasure shivered through me in a sizzling wave, and I moaned into his mouth. Felt his heart pounding fiercely against mine.

I thrust harder, and he matched me, rutting and rolling his hips. We both grew slick with precome, our movements quickly becoming more frantic. I broke off the kiss and locked my gaze with his burning one. We breathed together, grinding and huffing, our sweaty chests sealed together.

“You can’t fuck me,” he gasped. “I can’t wait that long.”

“It’s all right. I like this.”

He shuddered. “Fuck, me too.”

I squeezed his hand and stared down at him, watching every twitch that played over his face as he fought to stave off release. He tipped his head back, his lashes fluttering. I dropped my head and licked over the pulse pounding in his neck.

“Varick!” he cried, and I seized his mouth again, letting him taste his sweat and my love and the forgiveness that was still so new I was afraid to voice it. I jerked my hips against his, rubbing and grunting until I couldn’t hold back anymore. I came on a hard shudder, spurting against him. He followed a half-second later, his hot release soaking my thigh.

For a long moment, we simply breathed, our foreheads pressed together. He hooked his legs around my waist and held me that way, his ankles crossed behind my back and his hips cradling mine.

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