Page 94 of Kept

I frowned. “What—?”

“I have to go, Varick.” He coughed. His eyelids drooped.

“No,” I said, fumbling for his hand. When I squeezed it, he opened his eyes and smiled again, the dimple in his cheek appearing. More tears splashed on his face as I asked, “Why did you hold them? Why not just send them to the Shade? ” Anger flared. “You let them do this to you.”

Steady, blue eyes held mine. “I see possibilities and certainties. My path has always been certain. Given banished Midian to the Shade. I banished the rest.”

Thousands. He’d banished thousands of demons. This whole time, he’d known he was destined to die.

The pain of knowing.

“I have to go,” he said, his voice suddenly sharper. “I have to see what comes after.”

“Don’t,” I croaked. I gripped his hand and held it to my chest. “I’m so sorry.”

“Will you…?” His eyelids drooped again.

“What?” I asked, tears flowing faster. I shook his shoulder until he roused. “Will I what?”

For a minute, I didn’t think he’d answer. But then his brows drew together, and he whispered, “Will you kiss me before I go?”

A sob warbled in my throat. “Yes,” I whispered, and as I lowered my head, I saw him as he’d been in the library that day in the Midnight Palace, when he’d blushed and stammered and then swore a blood oath to serve me.

He’d never lied to me.

I kissed him gently, tasting my tears and his blood that sang with power and the terrible knowledge of everything that was possible. I kissed him.

I kissed him goodbye.

He sighed.

Something clamped hard on my tongue.

Startled, I pulled back.

Jordan was dead.

Laurent knelt on his other side, his dark head bent and his hands folded in his lap. Slowly, I became aware of several things. The ground was still. The knights stood around us, Igrith weeping quietly in their midst. The Thicket was gone.

So was Given.

Laurent reached out and traced a glyph on Jordan’s forehead. Gently, he closed Jordan’s eyes.

I stood and faced the Rift.

What does it mean?

My chest tightened. I stared into the chasm and wanted to scream.

What does it mean?

“I don’t know. But your voice is loud.”

I lifted my head, tingling awareness spreading through me. Heart thumping, I stepped back from the Rift. I closed my eyes and grabbed hold of my gift.

My Voice.

And I screamed.

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