Page 32 of Pack Nightmare

Jared shrugs. “Sounds good to me.”

He’s already dressed for the cooler weather, so I pull on a thick fleece hoodie and we head outside, following the same path I took the first day I spent at Harridan House, when it was all mysterious and misty.

Now the sky is completely cloudless, and the brilliant blue contrasts against the riot of color from the changing leaves. It’s been fun to watch them, see how every day they’re a little different, and notice the subtle change as I drive down the mountain to the town where they’ve only begun to change. Here there’s hardly any green left besides the pine trees, and a thick carpet of fallen leaves coats the ground.

We walk in comfortable silence for a while, our breath a light mist in the chilly air. It’s not until we descend the second set of steps and are truly in the gardens, away from structures, that I speak.

“You asked what my dreams were, before I became alpha, and the truth is I had nothing specific. I wanted to be happy, I wanted to have a home, and I wanted to travel. I spent my entire life in and around Los Angeles—we never went anywhere. Sure, we took trips to the beach, but we stuck to the Southern California coast line. I didn’t have specific plans like, ‘I want to go to Harvard,’ although I knew I wanted to go to school. I wanted to read a lot. I wanted to travel and see things I’d only seen on tv or the internet.”

“I think those are all wonderful dreams, gorgeous.”

“Yeah, well, not much I can do about them now, is there? It’s not like I can go visit the Eiffel Tower or the pyramids in Egypt with a 24-hour timer around my neck.” I try to be light-hearted, but I realize I mostly just sound bitter.

“I understand,” he replies. “It sucks, all of it. And I think we have every right to be pissed about all the things we can’t do.”

The hard edge to his tone surprises me. “Really? I thought you were ‘Mr. Homecoming King town favorite golden boy star football player.’ Everyone loves you here, and you seem… perfectly suited to this place.”

“So, because I’m doing okay with the hand I’ve been dealt, I’m not allowed to dream bigger?” His voice takes on a surprising note of sarcasm. “I’ve tried to make the best of it, but the truth is, I’m pissed. It’s not fair that I can’t go after the career I want, or travel, or even live where I want. It’s not fair that you’re stuck here, either. It all sucks, and there’s nothing we can do about. So for the most part, I try to be positive because I have no choice, but sometimes… I don’t feel all sunshine and light.” He kicks at a rock that’s rolled onto the paved path, sending it zooming off into the trees.

I don’t need my alpha senses to tell me he’s finally being real with me, showing me his true feelings. Warmth spreads through my chest, and I lace my fingers through his.

“Thank you,” I murmur, leaning in to his side. “I can’t tell you how crazy I’ve felt, being here and being so… frustrated that everyone is so stuck in their ways, so biased in their perception of this place, that they can’t see all the drawbacks. It’s honestly a relief to hear someone else say it.”

Jared emits a low chuckle, his hand tightening as he nudges me gently with a muscular shoulder. “It honestly didn’t occur to me that, being from the outside, it’d be so much harder for you to adapt. We’ve been raised with all the limitations of pack life, and it still chafes from time to time, but it’s home. I think we’ve gotten better at tamping down our frustration with it. We assume we’ll get over it, settle more, be happier. Or maybe that’s just me.”

“Hey, let’s go this way.” I tilt my head toward the side path that leads to the clearing in the woods. “I’ve never seen it in the daylight.”

We veer off and follow the rough trail, sunlight dappling the brightly colored leaves littering the forest floor. The warm electric tingles of being with one of my fated continue to flow over my skin, equal parts comforting and exciting.

As if reading my mind, or perhaps just my mood, Jared speaks. “Layla,” his voice is softer, hesitant. “I know I talk a big game, but I… well, I don’t really have any more, um… experience than the other guys.”

“Okay…” I’m not sure what I’m supposed to reply to that one.

“I just can’t really get a read on what you think of me, sometimes,” he admits with a heavy sigh. “I feel like of the three of us, you like me the least. I’ve never felt that way in my entire life. I’ve never been the last picked for a team, or the person no one wanted to be around. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.”

I consider his words for a minute, reaching out with my senses while we walk. The hesitation was clear in his voice, but I can feel the anxiety now, the deep, underlying fear of not being good enough. My hand tightens on his thick fingers.

“I agree that you and I haven’t been as close as I’ve become with the others. But it’s not about not liking you as much. If I’m being really honest, I think it’s because I feel you keep me, and everyone else, at arm’s length. Landon is very open about his feelings, he practically wears his heart on his sleeve. I know where I stand with him. And Milo is…” I can’t help chuckling, “Milo is Milo. He’s always been very clear about who he is and what he thinks. But you…”

I tug his hand, pulling him to a stop. We’re at the edge of the clearing now, and I need to look him in the eyes for this part. I wait for him to lift his gaze from the leaves beneath our feet, and I reach up to tug off the cap he wears low over his dark eyes before I continue. “You’ve been different. I feel like… you hide who you are, somehow. Behind the jokes, and the football captain, cool guy persona. It’s like a mask you wear, and it’s done the job, gotten you the popularity, the admiration from most of the town. You’re super good at it. Sometimes it’s even hard for me to reach your genuine emotions with my alpha senses.

“But this is the first time you’ve shown me something real; what you really feel, what you really think. And I’m willing to bet that this is the Jared that Milo and Landon know, the one they keep telling me is there ‘once I get to know you’. And this is the Jared I want to know more. Because I feel like I’ve been alone on an island since I arrived here, and you’ve made me feel more seen in the last ten minutes than I have in two months.”

Jared’s pulse is racing; I can feel it through our clenched hands, see it throbbing in the vein just below his jaw. Without the hat shading his eyes, sunlight fills his irises and brings out golden flecks I didn’t know existed in the dark chocolate brown. His gaze locks on mine, lips parted slightly, and the rushing of blood through my ears drowns out the sounds of the surrounding forest in the indeterminably long moment.

Then, as if time speeds up, Jared drops my hand and his wide, warm fingers cup my face on both sides. In one smooth movement, he’s pressed against me and his lips envelop mine, pillow-soft and gentle.

Electricity crackles between us, and I respond by wrapping my arms around his waist and pulling his hard, muscular body even tighter to mine. Heat rolls off him, even through our sweatshirts, and licks at my skin with delicious tingles. I can’t resist pulling his lower lip between my teeth and running my tongue along it. Jared responds with a low growl that reverberates deep in my chest, and his hands fall away from my face to grip my body while mine rise, in concert, to circle his shoulders.

Of my three mates, Jared is the closest to my height but also the most muscular. My fingers can’t resist running over his wide shoulders, trailing over the hard muscles of his neck and back while our kisses grow wilder. His warm palms slide along the sides of my body, working their way to my waist, then my hips, before wrapping around my butt and clenching me against him.

The heat and pressure between our hips sends my pulse skyrocketing; tension is coiling in my belly and it’s all too much sensation and yet not nearly enough. I pull on his neck as I try to leverage myself higher, and Jared obliges, scooping me up by my backside and taking several steps to press me against a nearby tree. The bark is rough, the tree hard against my back, but now my legs are wrapped around him and the hardness between his hips is exactly where I want it. My hips tilt and move of their own accord, and Jared’s move with me, adding to the sensation.

I can scarcely breathe, and I pull back from our frantic kisses to catch my breath. Jared trails fervent kisses down my neck, along my jaw, to the other side while our bodies continue to move together. I’m practically seated on his lap with the way he has me wedged against this tree, and my fingers scramble to find his warm skin through the open neck of his hoodie.

The nearby crunch of a footstep on leaves causes us to freeze immediately, both of our heads whipping toward the noise.

Across the clearing, a deer stands at alert with wide, fearful eyes. I can see its nostrils flare as it draws in breath, trying to scent us and figure out if we’re dangerous.

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