Page 15 of No Take Backs

I wish I could find her.

Admittedly, I haven’t searched that hard for her. I’m not a stalker after all.

“Hurry up, man. I don’t wanna eat cold food again.” Gino’s voice jolts me out of my reverie, and I realize I’ve been standing there, stirring the same pot of chili for who knows how long, lost in my thoughts. I glance up to find him standing there with a grin on his face, holding an empty bowl like he’s been waiting for hours. “Seriously,” he adds, his tone half-joking, half-desperate. “I’m starving.”

“Alright, alright,” I grumble, trying to shake off the lingering thoughts of Nia. I glare at Gino, but there’s no heat behind it. The guy’s always got a smile on his face, always cracking jokes, and it’s hard to stay annoyed at him for long. Still, I take my time just to mess with him, slowly turning off the stove and grabbing my own bowl from the counter. Then, making sure that he can’t get to it before me, I make sure to top off my chili with cheese, staring at him the entire time I do it.

“You’re a dick. I hope you know that.” When I’m finally done, he steps in, followed by the rest of our crew.

“Shouldn’t piss off the cook, Gino.” Ryder Cook shoves him out of the way. “Or maybe, you could have made dinner for once.”

“I do make dinner,” Gino counters once he sits at the dining table with his bowl and a spoon already headed for his mouth. “It’s called asking my mama to make us some pasta and drop it off at the station. I don’t wanna take the chance of burning something while we’re out on a call. And hers is perfect every single time.”

I don’t say a single word while I shovel the only thing I’ve had to eat all day into my mouth, savoring every single bite.

It’s been nonstop since we took over for the B shift at seven this morning. One call after another. With the weather starting to turn for the fall, a lot of the community were turning on their furnaces for the first time in half a year.

Smoke, minor fires, and leaking oil took up our entire day. By the time we rolled out for our seventh call of the day, I had to bribe my youngest brother, Drew, to stop by on his way to work to start our food so that it would be almost ready to eat by the time we got back to the shop for dinner.

“Damn, man,” Sean Proctor calls out from the kitchen counter, where he is leaning over with his own bowl close to his face. “I don’t know how you do it, but this is delicious.”

I shrug, taking the last bite of chili, and then push my bowl away. “It helps that my mom made sure all my brothers and I could survive without a woman in our lives.”

Hell, she made sure that we could cook, clean, and take care of ourselves from the day we each turned ten. Like a general, she started with the chores and responsibilities, making us into the men that our father never was.

“Who’s cleaning the kitchen tonight?” I put my bowl in the sink, rinsing it out while I wait for any of the men still in the kitchen to answer my question.

When no one does, I walk over to the calendar that the captain put out once a month with the house chores on it.

“Gino,” I call his name loudly. “Better get a start on it. Otherwise, you’re gonna get stuck staying after. And you said you’d help me with Alex’s porch.”

Gino glares at me from the couch before he shoves himself up and gets to work cleaning. At least I cleaned as I went, so it’s not like the kitchen is left trashed. Some of the guys take it like a challenge, to make as much of a mess as they can.

With nothing better to do, and zero interest in watching whatever Ryder put on the TV in the lounge, I walk outside to have a few minutes alone.

Except, no one at Birch Fire Department knows when to leave anyone else alone, so I can’t even pretend to be surprised when Ryder follows me out, along with one of the EMTs.

“I’m so glad to be done with you assholes.” Laura, the paramedic who is set to move at the end of the week, announces to no one in particular.

“Yeah,” Ryder snorts in response. “Trust me, we’re not sorry to see you go. But at least we’re getting a new paramedic instead of another know-it-all.”

She’s worked for the department for at least a decade, and she put in her notice almost as soon as I started with BFD. Honestly, she isn’t that bad, so I can’t figure out why none of the guys on shift like her at all. But none of them are talking about it, at least not to me. So I don’t push it. It’s none of my business, and I’m not looking to get into the middle of it.

Laura throws him a ridiculing glance before turning her attention my way, and all the ice in her eyes vanishes. “How’s Drew doing with this semester? He seemed a little stressed when he came by earlier.”

I smile at the mention of my younger brother and lean against the wall with one foot kicked back, resting against the brick. “He’s good. Cursing about the fact that he chose coding or some shit like that last time I talked to him. But he’s loving the fact that he’s still there on a football scholarship.”

Laura may not get along with anyone in the department, but I know for a fact that she has a soft spot for student athletes. She’s been volunteering at the school’s sporting events since I was a teenager.

“That’s really good.” She sighs deeply, intentionally ignoring Ryder standing right next to her. “I’ll miss volunteering as the medic when I’m gone, but I think a change is gonna feel good.”

After a few seconds of silence, she walks back toward the building. “I’m gonna go check my med bag before the night rush. Have a good one, Josh. If I don’t see you again before the end of my shift, it was nice working with you.”

While she walks away, Ryder shakes his head. “I can’t fuckin’ stand her.”

“I can tell.” I close my eyes, resting my head against the brick behind me.

“Good riddance,” Ryder snorts. “I’m glad we’re getting someone new. Maybe this one won’t try to take command of every single med scene we arrive at. To the point that she reports the entire department to the state.”

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