Page 1 of How We Loved

PROLOGUE

Ben—Eleven Years Old

I don’t know what I’m supposed to do or say as I walk into the hospital with my dad and mom. My mom’s best friend has been sick for a while, and my parents are saying this will be our last goodbye.

I’ve never had someone die in my life. The thought of it kind of weirds me out.

What will happen once she’s gone? I know my life won’t change very much, but for Maya—someone I’ve hung out with every day since I was born, it seems—her life is about to change forever.

I can’t imagine losing a parent, let alone my mom.

My mom and her mom have been friends since they were our age. I’ve heard my parents talking about what will happen when she’s gone, and countless nights, I’ve watched my mom cry on my dad’s shoulder.

I haven’t really spoken to Maya about it, only because I don’t know how to bring it up.

We’ve all known she’s sick, so it’s not like Maya had to come out and say, Hey, guess what. My mom’s dying. So, we’ve just never talked about it. Our lives have gone on like nothing’s wrong. But now? Now, I don’t see how that can happen.

I stand behind my parents as they speak to the nurse. I’ve heard movies and shows talk about how hospitals creep people out. Now, I see why. It’s so quiet in here. Besides the few nurses walking around, there’s nothing else but cream-colored walls, blue chairs, and machines beeping every so often.

I feel extremely awkward, just standing here, so I look around to see if Dalton and Eli are coming too. It’s always been the four of us since our parents all work together, but it’s not uncommon for it just to be Maya and her family and mine together more times than not since our moms grew up as best friends. I sigh, guessing it’s just me and Maya tonight, though I haven’t seen her yet.

Tim, Maya’s dad, comes around the corner, and my mom rushes to him.

“How is she?”

He closes his eyes and shakes his head. “It’s not good. I’ll take you back to see her.”

He guides us to a room, where Maya is curled up on the bed with her mom. She’s always been this tiny thing, but wrapped up in her mom’s arms, she seems even smaller.

“Hi,” Jessica, Maya’s mom, says as we enter the room.

Jessica used to be a woman full of energy, always smiling and playing with us kids. Now, she looks pale and weak. Seeing her like this makes my insides turn and my chest ache.

Is this what dying looks like?

My mom walks up to the side of the bed and leans down to give her a hug. I watch as tears fall down my dad’s face while I stand here feeling awkward.

Tim places his hand on Maya’s back. “Why don’t we get you and Ben some hot chocolate?”

Maya nods, then sits up, giving me a half grin as her hello and acknowledgment in us getting hot chocolate. It’s been our thing since we were much younger. Our moms would say it was our special treat that we were only able to have when we were together. Problem was, we were always together, so we got to be pretty spoiled when it came to the drink they said was dessert in a cup.

I turn to go with them, thankful to be leaving, but am stopped when I hear my name being called.

“Ben, can you stay for a minute?” Jessica says.

Tim nods to me. “Go ahead. I’ll bring your drink back here.”

“Okay,” I respond nervously.

I turn and stand there, ten feet away from her bed, not sure why she wants me to stay.

She reaches her hand out to me. “Come here.”

I take the few steps toward her, raising mine to hers as well. She grips it and brings it down to her bed, where she continues to hold mine.

She purses her lips together as she lets out a sigh, and tears fill her eyes.

Why is she crying? What the heck am I supposed to say or do in this situation?

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